The Edmond Sun features a story about two local boys — Richard Ford and Scott Bridges — who left town to pursue acting careers, and have now returned and set up a locally-based movie company, Sure Crossing Films. I thought it would be nice to provide Ford and Bridges with seven ideas for movies that Sure Crossing Films should pursue.

Hairspray. This would be a remake of the John Waters cult classic, though the star of this film would be Oklahoma State football coach Mike Gundy.

Conspiracy Theory II. The sequel to the Mel Gibson film would star Senator Jim Inhofe as a man who, frustratingly, cannot seem to convince the world that global warming is a hoax perpetrated by liberals and scientists out to make a buck.

Ghost Town. The story of home games for the University of Oklahoma basketball team.

Corporate Raiders of the Lost Ark. This newest installment of the Indiana Jones series features Indiana being played by T. Boone Pickens. In this sequel, Indiana becomes a corporate raider, and his hostile takeovers of numerous companies earn him his first ten million dollars.

Leprechaun 2. The Al Eschbach story.

Dazed and Confused, Part Deux. This documentary would focus on three Oklahoma football fans, and their attempt to understand what was going on during a game while listening to Bob Barry’s radio broadcast.

Major League IV. The third sequel to Major League focuses not on the lovable Cleveland Indians, but on Mayor Mick Cornett, and his quest to make sure everyone in the world is well aware that Oklahoma City is indeed a Major League city while not, at the same time, looking like he has a massive inferiority complex.