Well, the day is finally here. ‘Saving Grace’ premieres tonight on TNT at 9:00pm. The show is actually getting some mixed reviews, which surprises me, and our state’s newspaper seemed to like it, which scares me.
Anyway, we may do some sort of live blog tonight during the show. If you want to talk about, complain or even whine about the show while it airs, do it in the comments section of this thread. I will probably be here, along with my guardian angel Craig.
You may not have known it, but TheLostOgle.com has an email address. It’s something like thelostogle at gmail.com. Since we don’t have time to respond to the large volume of email we receive, I figured I would share some of the better ones here.
Does Dean Blevins have herpes?
Linda C., Oklahoma CityWe are not 100% sure. There is a 60% chance that Dean has some sort of STD, and an 80% chance that it is herpes. Of course fever blisters count as herpes, but 75% of the population consider those as good herpes. I would say there is a 95% chance that Dean gets fever blisters.
Is The Lost Ogle endorsed by any member of the prestigious Ogle family? If so, they should have told me.
Kent O., EdmondNot yet. When Kelly finally reads one of our absurd emails on “Your Two Cents”, we will consider that an endorsement. However, if you count our MySpace friends as a ringing endorsement, we are endorsed by Lump, Carey Murdock, Tony Sellars, three attractive girls, numerous bars, a couple of bands and the mayor’s son.
Will Mathis Brothers finally get a Starbucks?
Jeremy R., MooreCalls to Mathis Brothers have not been returned, but sources confirm that the furniture palace’s Starbucks rip-off has “exceeded expectations.”
I’m enjoying the abundance of sports radio in Oklahoma City. Any chance that the guys at TheLostOgle.com can get their own sports talk show?
James H., NormanPossibly. According to a story in Oklahoma Weekly, civic leaders are considering a “grand experiment” to turn the Oklahoma City weather radio band into 24/7 local sports talk. If this works out, we have already been contacted about hosting “Sports All Night” a midnight to 5am sports show.
Why is Reno not called First Street?
Clark M., The VillageGood Question, Clark. I think the better question is why The Village is called The Village.
Who still eats at the Spaghetti Warehouse? Why is this place open?
Mia L., Oklahoma CityI’m glad you asked this question. The ‘success’ of the Spaghetti Warehouse, Bricktown Brewery and even Crab Town is critical if we want to cement our status as a true major league city. All major cities have those average restaurants that are solely supported by out-of-towners and tourists, and those are ours.
Have Jude and Jody’s sons ruined the family’s business?
Larry E., Oklahoma CityI think so. I haven’t seen a Judy and Jody commercial in years. I bet the son’s really didn’t love folks. That has probably hurt business.
Is there a God?
Aubrey M., Nichols HillsYes. And his name is Gary England.
This was a few months ago, but Mark referenced it in the comments, so I figured we should post the audio to let everyone in on the fun. Here, for everyone’s enjoyment, is a former Oklahoma Sooner quarterback, ABC and ESPN football announcer, and Emmy award winning journalist urinating on the air during the “Total Dominance Hour.”
Not much else needs to be said. Ladies and Gentlemen, Dean the Stream Blevins:
Thomas Stalcup
(aka Chad Stevens)
14500 Brasswood Blvd.
Edmond, OK 73013
Appraised Value: $312,292
Thomas Stalcup is better known as Chad Stevens, the annoying guy from the Fowler Honda commercials. One time, a friend and I saw Thomas..errr…Chad walking through the OU field house parking lot before a bedlam football game. He looked drunk, lost and confused. After seeing this, my friend and I had to make the obligatory “I’m not following him anywhere” joke. It was quite funny. You had to be there.
George Shinn
15028 Gallardia Dr.
Oklahoma City, OK 73142Appraised Value: $384,995
Maybe George isn’t quite ready to leave Oklahoma City. Or maybe he forgot that he owns a home here. Regardless, if the whole Sonics thing doesn’t work out, you got to love the fact that the owner of the
Oklahoma CityNew Orleans Hornets is having a hard time leaving.
Marty Grubbs
15316 Red Coach Rd.
Edmond, OK 73013Appraised Value: $958,989
I hope God doesn’t shut us down after this post. Marty Grubbs is the Senior Pastor at the super-huge Crossings Community Church located at the end of the Hefner Parkway. I’m all for capitalism and people earning what they’re worth, but it seems a tiny bit hypocritical for a church pastor to live in a million-dollar home. It makes you wonder where all the money goes after it is put in that little bronze bowl.
In a world where techno junkies publish recreations of game 6 of the 1986 World Series with ridiculous detail on an old Nintendo game, I can’t find a single clip of John Stewart skewering Tom Coburn for doing a crossword puzzle? In addition to high quality entertainment like the embeded video above, if I want to see a laughing baby, a dog drinking from a sprinkler, or a stalker torpedoing the Obama campaign YouTube is the perfect place. If I need something important, like an old Sound Warehouse commercial featuring Linda Soundtrack, though, it is worthless to me.
That’s why I need your help TheLostOgle.com reader.You can’t tell me no Oklahoman has been going through their VHS tapes and popped in an old Miami Vice recording and seen Linda shilling for a now defunct electronics store between commercials featuring Max Headroom and “The Clapper” without thinking: “This needs to be on YouTube.” If this person is out there, there’s a good chance he/she is a loyal follower of TheLostOgle.com. So, I am imploring you, MAKE IT HAPPEN!
Even if you aren’t one of those people who puts crazy video clips out on YouTube, there is a good chance you are the type of person who scours that website for crazy video clips. When you find one of those clips that is Oklahoma related, I need to be informed. If a clip you bring to my attention is mentioned in one of my columns (and you were the first to send it), you will be the lucky recipient of some Kerr-McGee paraphernalia that my wife is hounding me to get out of the garage.
Today, while trying to navigate my way around NewsOK.com, I ran across an animated ad that read:
Google. YouTube. SaintsOK….Your internet essentials.
Spending at least 100K on display advertising to market a stupid website that no one will really visit is a dumb idea. Making false claims about that website is even dumber. SaintsOK.com is not up there with YouTube or Google, and it never will be. In fact, according to its traffic rankings, SaintsOK isn’t even up there with Integris. Check it out:
Integris-Health.com Alexa Rank: 1,028,171
SaintsOK.com Alexa Rank: 3,773,037
As I said, I think it’s pretty dumb for St. Anthony’s to spend a bunch of money marketing a website that nobody will remember to go to, but if they are going to keep at it, maybe they should produce something similar to those trite Integris TV commercials. They seem to have worked. Maybe they could produce a commercial about a guy getting in a motorcycle wreck and losing his foot. And then a little girl at the hospital giving him a picture of her pony to cheer him up. And then him going to YouTube and watching videos of the girl and her pony. And then he remembering to go to SaintsOk.com and make an appointment. And all this happening with sad, yet uplifting music, playing in the background.
For the eight of you out there who didn’t realize it, 2007 marks the 100th anniversary of the state of Oklahoma. To mark this, various publications around the state have been featuring all sorts of Top 100 lists that have provoked virtually no controversy and have not been talked about at the water cooler. In fact, we’ve heard so little discussion about these lists that we wonder if anyone is actually reading them. We sure don’t.
It does seem, though, that the focus has been on the more positive elements of Oklahoma. While we celebrate those things just like the rest of the world, it seems wrong to ignore the more humiliating aspects of the state of Oklahoma. Naturally, we’re here to fill that void, in this ten-part series that will run every Monday. Today, numbers 91 through 100 of Oklahoma’s Biggest Embarrassments..
100. Dean Blevins
We’d hate to imply Dean Blevins was the inspiration for this site, but lets just say that when we were bantering around ideas for the site’s name, the early favorite was PleaseSomeoneFireDeano.com. He’s a terrible writer who doesn’t know much about national sports and frankly, appears to be pretty lazy at his job. It seems every time we hear him on the Sports Animal he’s on the golf course. Also, he’s the type of journalist who refers to teams and athletes as “sexy.” As in, “Sure, he’s not what you think of as the sexy pick, but…” That’s really annoying.
With all apologies due to Senator Tom Coburn, it has recently come to my attention that I shortchanged him in my breakdown of him and Senator James Inhofe. In the “Crazy Ideas” category, I simply mentioned his belief that capital punishment should be extended to include obstetricians, a profession for which he is a member. I should also have added:
1. “Teachers should not allow more than one female student to use the restroom at a time.”
Apparently, lesbianism is running rampant in southeastern Oklahoma schools. After polling the editors at TheLostOgle.com, the official position of this organization is: “Why is that a problem?”
(Thanks to Tony for pointing out this omission.)
2. “Insurance companies should cover breast augmentation.”
TheLostOgle.com is quicker to support the senator on this portion of his platform, but his reasoning is a bit perplexing. Dr. Tom points out that statistics prove that women who have breast implants are healthier. He does not point out that women who get boob jobs tend to be obsessed with their appearance, making them more apt to spend lots of time in the gym. Also, women who are obese usually have no need to go bigger.
(Thanks to my wife for pointing out this omission.)
This retraction makes no difference in the conclusion from the earlier article. It does, however, mean that Coburn was a clearer victor in the race for least bad legislator.
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