Archive for July, 2007 Page 3 of 3

Next Entries »

The NCAA Invented A Time Machine

Published by
Tony
 on July 11, 2007

The above is not a picture of NCAA President Miles Brand. It is a picture of actress Halle Berry. I find that Ms. Berry is a much more attractive person to look at, so she will be the accompanying picture to this post.

In case you missed it, the NCAA announced the punishment for the University of Oklahoma football program today. This will give the local news stations something to lead their broadcasts with, as finally they have some real hard-hitting news to cover (over/under on the number of times “as we were the first to report…” is heard per station: 6.5).

OU will lose two scholarships for through the 2009 season, be forced to reduce by one the number of coaches who can recruit off campus, and receive a public reprimand. Also, they are forced to vacate the wins they had in all games Rhett Bomar and JD Quinn played in.

Yes, you heard that right. The NCAA has decided that the University of Oklahoma’s football team was 0-4 in 2005. You think you remember the Sooners pulling out a victory in Lincoln? Or winning the Holiday Bowl against Oregon? False. You do not remember these things, and if you think you do, a representative from the NCAA will be by your house shortly to use one of those mind-erasing things they had in Men In Black.

So, basically OU escaped with virtually no real punishment (and that’s fair, I’d opine). The two scholarships lost were already essentially lost with the departures of Bomar and Quinn, and the perceived most severe penalty — the vacated ‘05 season — has no practical impact on the program going forward.

In other reports released by the NCAA today, it was also announced that the New Orleans Hornets never played any games in Oklahoma City, the 1920 presidential election never too place, and the Twinkie was never invented.

Category: OU Football and Oklahoma City Media. 4 Comments

Fun With MySpace

Published by
Tony
 on July 10, 2007

All the cool kidz have MySpace pages these days. It’s a good way to communicate with friends, find new musical artists, and watch perverted old men hit on teenage girls.

Many well-known locals have MySpace pages, and here’s an analysis of three of them:

Rhett Bomar

Personal Quote: “always try your best”

Number of Friends: 132

Featured Song: “Six,” by All That Remains

Bomar’s page is, frankly, not very revealing. We learn very little about the guy who used to quarterback the Oklahoma Sooners. In his “Who I’d Like To Meet” section, Bomar succinctly says: “a lot of people.” His favorite music? “A lot of just about everything.” Favorite movies? “Comedys, dramas, chick flicks, and more.” An easy to please guy, I guess.

There was one revealing tidbit, and that is that his “income level” is listed as “$250,000 and higher.” I guess the car dealerships at Sam Houston State pay better than those in Norman! If I ever move to Huntsville, Texas, I need to be sure to get a job at Big Orange Sports and Imports, or whatever it’s called.

Strangely, Bomar features this picture on his MySpace page:

Continue reading ‘Fun With MySpace’

Category: OU Football, Oklahoma City Media, Oklahoma City Radio, Oklahoma Politics and The Sports Animal. 2 Comments

Oklahoma’s Finest Legislator

Published by
Clark Matthews
 on July 9, 2007

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket vs. Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Oklahoma has sent some good men to the Senate. Starting with Robert L. Owen and Thomas P. Gore (uncle of Al) who were sent to Washington when Oklahoma first became a state, the state has elected men like Robert S. Kerr, J. Howard Edmondson, David Boren, and even Don Nickles to represent us in the U.S. version of the House of Lords. Now: Jim Inhofe and Tom Coburn. My task today is to break down these two men and determine which is better, or more accurately, least bad.  Continue reading ‘Oklahoma’s Finest Legislator’

Category: Oklahoma Politics. 6 Comments

You Decide: Who is Oklahoma City’s Best Porn Star?

Published by
Patrick
 on July 8, 2007

Ashlynn Brooke or Jesse Jane

Ken or Kelly Ogle? San Marcos or Chelinos? Taking Memorial or just hopping on the Kilpatrick? Here in Oklahoma City, there’s a bunch of fun stuff to debate and discuss. Now we can officially add porn stars Ashlynn Brooke (left) and Jesse Jane (right) to that list.

Why is that?

Well…according to Tony and verified by Clark, both of these nice ladies are from the Oklahoma City Metro. Ashlynn is from Choctaw. Jesse’s from Moore. And since The Lost Ogle is dedicated to talking about anything and everything related to Oklahoma City, we thought it would be a good idea to finally end the age old debate about who is Oklahoma City’s best porn star.

My verdict? After looking at Ashlynn’s MySpace page, I think she’s the winner. From her profile, you can see that she’s an OU fan, reads to Bible and like the Fifth Element. Plus, she is allegedly dating Carlton from The Fresh Prince of Bel Aire. That’s all winning material.

But what about Jesse? I just couldn’t vote for her. Check out this picture that I Clark found at her MySpace page:

Jesse Jane and Hinder

Yep. That’s Jesse with some of the guys from Hinder. Maybe Bryan Abrams really will do us all a favor and take care of all of them. Please Bryan!

Anyway, so that I don’t look like the only weirdo on this site, please, tell us who you think Oklahoma City’s best porn star is. If you do, you may be invited to the awards ceremony where we give the lucky lady her Lost Ogle Award of Excellence.

Category: Hinder, Oklahoma City Alumni, Oklahoma City Porn Stars and Unusual. 10 Comments

BBJ Will Decide The News

Published by
Tony
 on July 6, 2007

I was all set to write another post complaining about Toby Keith when I heard the most astonishing thing on the Sports Animal, so I’m forced to blog about that instead.

I was delivering Meals On Wheels late this morning, and as I was driving around Craig Humphreys was droning on and on for what seemed like an hour about Barry Bonds and was giving his same old tired opinions that he must have given at least 300 times by now. I was beginning to grow concerned that the old people would not get the lunches I was delivering them, because I kept falling asleep at the wheel. Fortunately for the health of the local elderly population, Humphreys then said something that surprised me. He said, “BBJ, have you even shown any of Bonds’ chase for the home run record on Channel 4?” This came as a total shock to me, because I had been listening for a good length of time and I had no idea anyone else was on the air with Craig Humphreys.

Anyway, here is Bob Barry, Jr.’s response, paraphrased:

“Nope, I haven’t shown him in two years. And I’m proud of it. He hit number 751 the other day and I yawned. I just don’t care about him.”

I almost drove off the road when I heard this. There it is, folks. That, in a nutshell, is the sorry state of our local media. This joker is not covering Barry Bonds’ chase for Hank Aaron’s home run record simply because he doesn’t like Barry Bonds. Forget whether or not something is newsworthy, BBJ just reports on people that he cares about. It’s as if he thinks the news is his platform to promote people that are interesting to him, as opposed to a place to, you know, report the news. He’s like a 12-year old girl who’s ignoring her friend because she made her mad.

Say what you want about Barry Bonds, and I could say plenty, but he is a huge news story in the sports world. It’s probably the biggest story in baseball over the last year or so. Heaven forbid Bob Stoops ever gets on BBJ’s bad side, because we might have to let KFOR’s viewers know that the OU football season is going on.

Bob Barry Jr. has many things going for him. For instance, he seems like a nice, affable fellow. Also, he’s not Dean Blevins. He is not, however, the greatest journalist in the world. It’s a proud day for the Gaylord College of Journalism.

Category: BBJ, Oklahoma City Media, Oklahoma City Radio and The Sports Animal. 6 Comments

Potential ‘Saving Grace’ Story Lines

Published by
Patrick
 on July 5, 2007

http://i.tnt.tv/v5cache/TNT/images/originals/savinggrace/features/wallpapers/all800x600.jpg

As Tony pointed out a few weeks ago, and the promotional picture above clearly shows, the new TNT crime drama Saving Grace is going to be nothing more than a frustrating, stereotyped caricature of Oklahoma City life and culture. In case you live under rock that is under an anvil, here is a description of the show from TNT:

Academy Award®-winning actress Holly Hunter (The Piano) takes on the role of a cynical police detective facing a personal crisis of divine proportions in the provocative new drama series Saving Grace.

In her television series debut, Hunter stars as Grace Hanadarko, a tormented, fast-living Oklahoma City police detective who, despite being at the top of her field, takes self-destruction to new heights. After seeing tremendous tragedy in her life, both professionally and personally, Grace lives life hard and fast. She drinks too much, sleeps with the wrong men and defies authority. Grace has a tender side with her 22 nieces and nephews, but that is a side that most of the world doesn’t get to see. It all catches up with her one night when, as she’s driving too fast after too many drinks, she hits a man who is walking along the road. In an uncharacteristic moment, Grace asks for help, and she gets it – in the form an unconventional angel named Earl (Leon Rippy, Deadwood). Earl tells Grace that she is in trouble and running out of chances, but he wants to help lead her back to the right path. The journey, for both of them, will not be an easy one.

Okay…we know the show’s going to suck and be frustrating, but it is kind of cool that a cable television crime drama is going to be actually set in Oklahoma City. To help celebrate this, here are some Saving Grace episodes and storyline ideas that I have come up with. These ideas feature real Oklahomans, and the rights to them can be purchased by an executive producer at TNT for the right price.  If you have additional or even better ones, please post a comment.

Color Me Dead:
Grace is hand picked by local officials to look into the tragic “accidental” poisoning death of Hinder front man Austin Winkler at a Color Me Badd reunion show at the Zoo Amphitheater. After several twists and turns, including a dramatic car chase through Bricktown, it is revealed that CMB member Bryan Abrams murdered Winkler out of sheer jealousy… jealousy related to Hinder replacing Color Me Badd as Oklahoma’s most forgettable, famous and pathetic popular music act.

Dining with Deano:
Looking for a good bite to eat after a late night homicide investigation, Grace runs into Dean Blevins at the Interurban, and after being warned by Angel Earl, has a one night stand with the Oklahoma City Sports Legend. Several weeks later, she learns that she has contracted an STD.  She is 60% sure that the infection came from Deano.

In Your Corner:
After a severe thunderstorm, Grace’s elderly neighbor, Edith,  is scammed out of $1,500 by a scam artisit who was paid to remove tree limbs and debris from her yard, but never did the work.  Grace, with the help of Angel Earl, calls on the assistance of local investigative angel Brad Edwards to locate and confront the individual.  At the end of the episode, the scam artist is captured, and returns the Edith her $1,500.  Meanwhile, a group of Eagle Scouts remove the debris at no charge. 

In the Mick of Time:
In the season finally, Grace uncovers a sinister plot by TheLostOgle.com writer Clark Matthews to kidnap Chris Paul and Sonics GM Sam Presti.  Before she can stop him, Clark kidnaps the pair and hides with them at the Chesapeake Boathouse.   For effect, Grace rows to the boat house, and enters the building through the back entrance.  As she enters, Clark is waiting for her with a baseball bat from his little league sport days.  As he is about to hit Grace from behind, Mick Cornett and sidekick Aubry Mclendon jump from the celing, wrestle the bat free, and Clark Matthews goes to jail.  Grace then falls in love with Mayor Mick, creating an awesome story line for season 2.

Category: Dean Blevins, Hinder, Mick Cornett, OKC Music and Saving Grace. 20 Comments

Dean Blevins Is Unreadable, Homoerotic

Published by
Tony
 on July 2, 2007

After facing intense scrutiny from TheLostOgle.com, Dean Blevins finally updated his web site this month, and I don’t know what is more striking, the absolutely horrific writing or the fact that he barely even attempts to cover up his crush on tennis star Rafael Nadal.

You can read it all here, but good luck making it through the entire piece. The whole thing sounds like he looked up every word in the thesaurus. It’s almost impossible to pick the single worst sentence in the whole piece, but I think I’ll go with this one:

It was a convincing 3-1 win over a giant of the game who is but one French title of being called the greatest player to toss a furry pellet in the air.

Seriously, Deano, you are trying too hard. Also, he refers to Roger Federer as “Fedeher” throughout the article. Is this some sort of too-clever-by-half insult? Is it possible that he really doesn’t know Federer’s name?

And what to make of his obvious attraction to Rafael Nadal? These are all actual things that Dean Blevins wrote about the tennis star:

His sweat-drenched biceps look more like a body builder than a Love Thirty ball tosser.

Aggressive…..this guy. Penetrates like LeBron en route to the hoop.

Yes, it was hot and the ball kicked up higher. But that was no excuse as the ”powerful prowler” kicked King Rogs’ hiny for the third straight time…

Is it me, or does this sound more like one of those romance novels with Fabio on the cover than sports commentary? Never in my life have I heard the word “penetrates” in association with tennis. I hope his wife knows about this.

Category: Dean Blevins and Oklahoma City Media. 10 Comments

Lets Go Running…

Published by
Patrick
 on July 1, 2007

Running

A few weeks ago, my roommate and I were drinking some cold beer at the Henry Hudson’s on Hefner and Rockwell. We were talking about all the Henry Hudson’s in Okahoma City, and I mentioned that I had only been to this one a few times.

(Editors Note: Yes, it is depressing that I have been to every Henry Hudsons in Oklahoma City. Yes, it is also depressing that I have been to each of them so many times, that I can say things like “I’ve only been to this one a few times.” And yes, I am the editor of this site.)

Anyway, my roommate then tells me that he has a cool story about this one. Here is the cool story, written from his point of view:

7 or 8 years ago, I was at this Hudson’s getting drunk and noticed this attractive, fit, Native American girl sitting by herself. After about 30 minutes, I went and talked to her. We hit off really well, talked for about an hour, and then played some Golden Tee.

As the night went on, we both got pretty drunk, and at ‘last call’ she invited me back to her house! When we got to her place, we had some more drinks, and she started showing me all of these pictures of her and the awards she has earned as a marathon runner. She then showed me tons Dallas Cowboy’s memorabilia. While showing me autographs and pictures of her with the player’s, she told me she had something special she wanted me to see. She left the room, and a few minutes later, she came back wearing a Dallas Cowboy’s cheerleader outfit…

Okay. In an effort to keep this website PG-13, I’m going to fast forward a bit:

After that night, I’ve never seen or talked to the girl again. But about 2 years later, I was at work listening to the Sports Animal, and this women called Bob Barry Jr. to discuss the Dallas Cowboys and marathon running. All of a sudden it hit me! I slept with Running Girl!

What a great story! The only thing that could beat this would be my great uncle having and affair with Effie, or Tony hooking up with Lumber Lady. Also, unless my roommate is an amazing liar, his story seems to be true. How do I know? He also said this:

And I’ll never forget her name, too. It was…

Since I have a tiny bit of a spine left, I can’t tell you the name. But lets just say that when I googled it, there were a bunch of results pointing to a 30-something, Native American women who ran a whole bunch. And for literally $1-$2, I will release the name. Until then, lets go running.

Category: The Sports Animal. 4 Comments
Next Entries »