It’s hard to be a patron of the internet and avoid the name generator. If you have a MySpace page, your friends have probably posted bulletins urging you to find out your Pirate Name (mine is “Eel Skin Jake”). Or if you have an email account, you’ve probably received email forwards coaxing you to translate your real name into a pop star (”Prince Taylor”) or Brazillian soccer star name (”Mattha”).
Sometimes, word of mouth is enough, as was the case with DeadName.com for me. Unsolicited, a co-worker commanded that I go to the site. Using the generator, I learned that if I listened to Marilyn Manson, wore nothing but black, and was obsessed with death, my compatriots would refer to me as “Twisted Illusion”. So not impressed was I.
She had already been checking out goth names for other employees of the company. Since I wasn’t really planning to refer to our boss as “Slut Boi”, I passed on following her lead. However, being who I am, and already distracted from productive work (not that this takes much), I began checking the goth names for some of Oklahoma City’s elite citizens.
Attempt #1:
With this, I started thinking, “Hmm, maybe this name generator is on to something.” So, I continued with this:
Well, after seeing it nail the first two, I had to continue. So, after the jump, find out whether your friend on VampireFreaks.com might be a famous Oklahoman.
Brad Henry = Bondage Slut (I knew that pristine image was too good to be true.)
Mick Cornett = Heartless ArchAngel
Amy McRee = Beautiful Nightmare (Define “nightmare”?)
David Boren = Velvet Dreams
Tom Coburn = Beautifully Chaotic (That could explain some of his votes)
Jim Inhofe = Disturbed Angel
Ashlynn Brooke = Heavenly Demonic
Kelli Gallo = bitch slave (All lowercase, weird)
Lauren Nelson = Dessicated Corpse
Mary Fallin = Mummified Corpse (Does that mean she’s related to Miss America in Goth circles?)
Gary England = Freak
Patrick Nelson = Liquid Vamp
Tony Hanadarko = Velvet Crotch
Ironically, I hate soccer, but love my Brazilian soccer star name…
Murdinho
I am however perplexed at my goth name ‘Satanist Bitch’.
I thought my hatred of strip mall churches was somehow right on target.
Apparently Jesus thinks they are A-OK…
I guess I’m a lifechurch.tv’er now.
Either that or I need to stop listening to Graham Colton CDs.
Hmm
These are some I got
Kelly Ogle Heartless Blowhard
Bob Barry Fumble Breath
Jeannie Carlson Heartless Bitch
The site is cool and obviously brilliantly programmed.
Amy McRee: Beautiful Nightmare
(Truer words were never spoken)
Maggie Carlo: Liquid Fantasy
(How did they know?)
Jessica Schambach: Chaotic Kittie
(Sounds about right to me!)
Jim Traber - b*tch slave
bwahahaha
Edward Gaylord: Shadow Dweller.
Al Eschbach: Death Dealer. Should be Noisy Troll.
Gene Stipe: Damaged Roses.
Sherri Coale: Bloddy Kisses.
Brent Rinehart: Death Dealer.
Bob Stoops: Midnight Fantasy.
Linda Cavanaugh: Lucid Nightmare.
Mike Gundy: Crimson Moon
Too weird…
Bobby Reid - Chicken Eater
Jason White - Shoe Salesman
Clark Matthews - Jenni Wannabe
HA!
My husband had surgery three weeks ago, and he’s still not cleared for, ahem, certain activities. So it’s funny that I get this name:
Cob Webbed Crotch.
Awesome.
Boone Pickens becomes Latex Freak.
TMI.
That’s weird. You say Mike Gundy’s name is Crimson Moon? I put my name in there, and what do you know? The EXACT same name came out! Does that mean Gundy and I are spiritually connected in some way?
And I just noticed in my second to last sentence in the post above I had three words in a row rhyme… weirdness.
OMG … this thing is frighting in its accuracy.
Lance Cargill = Evil Queeen
Randy Terrill = Fetal Mind
Lance West = Liquid Skin
Aubrey McClendon = Sedated
Mike Morgan = Withered Waste
Gary England = Freak
i’m looking for something that starts with “Lady…”
ya so its … an ok name for mwa but ya
umm…i did my name, and it’s ‘tortured testicles,’ i’m a little weirded out.