Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Power Poll: Best Oklahoma High School Nicknames

So yesterday we were sitting in the Lost Ogle’s luxurious headquarters discussing what the best nicknames are among Oklahoma high schools. Not knowing all of them, we asked one of our interns to do the research. Unfortunately, it turns out we don’t actually have interns, and the guy we asked to do the research was in fact the pizza delivery guy. Oops! No wonder he had such a strange look on his face when bringing Patrick the coffee from the kitchen that he had requested.

So we had to do the research ourselves. It was hours of painstaking, grueling work, but we powered through. And we can tell you this: if we never see another school nicknamed “Bulldogs” or “Tiger,” it will be too soon. There are actually 44 schools in the state named “Tigers” (45 if you count the Talihina Golden Tigers) and 36 schools in the state named “Bulldogs,” (first of which alphabetically is Altus, last of which alphabetically is Yale).

Seriously, where is the originality? We wanted to reward originality and general awesomeness in mascot-picking, so the three of us and two Friends Of The Lost Ogle submitted our Top 10 picks and tallied the results. Here they are; the Top 10 Best Oklahoma High School Nicknames:

10. The Cascia Hall Commandos

Somehow we doubt that the school named their athletic teams after the practice of not wearing any underwear, but we’re going to pretend that they did. It just makes the world seem like a little bit better place.

9. The Fox Foxes

All right, technically whoever named this Carter County school had perhaps less originality than the people who name schools Bulldogs or Tigers, but the sheer redundancy in this name is so rare that it ends up being pretty original.

8. The Lawton MacArthur Highlanders

If you ever wanted a connection between General Douglas MacArthur and the 1980s and ’90s movie/television series Highlander, you now have it. How amazing would it be having the football team enter the field to the song “Princes of the Universe?” Very amazing. We know amazing, and that is it.

7. The Paoli Pugs

The pug is perhaps the least intimidating of all dogs. To the best of our knowledge, it just sits around and looks wrinkly and ugly all day long. We’re not sure we’ve ever actually seen one move. But Paoli Pugs is a great name. It’s got a very high alliteration/unique quotient going for it.

6. The Miami Wardogs

If the Pug is the least intimidating dog, the Wardog is probably the most indimidating. After all, it’s a freaking dog trained for war.

5. The Okeene Whippets/The Varnan Whippets

We combined both Okeene and Varnan as one entry since they have the same strange nickname. At first, we weren’t sure what a whippet was. So we wondered if it had an entry on Wikipedia, and it does. Ho. Lee. Crap. That is perhaps the most hideous looking thing we have ever seen. Sorry to offend any whippet owners out there, but that is one ugly looking dog.

4. The Sallisaw Black Diamonds

If we ever meet Chris Callahan and he insults us and hurts our feelings, we’re going to say “Hey, at least when we were in high school we weren’t the Fighting Coal.” That’ll show him.

3. The Bray-Doyle Donkeys

They kick ass. Get it? Get it? Because they’re the Donkeys. Yeah, we agree, not too funny, and yet we can’t help ourselves. Little known fact: Their team MVP is the “Ass of the Year” and the all-time Bray-Doyle greats are inducted into the “Ass Hall of Fame.”

2. The Beaver Dusters

Wow. Not a lot of commentary that can possibly be added to this one, other than Patrick’s request that they make Dean Blevins their official mascot.

1. The Chickasha Fighting Chicks

At the Lost Ogle, we really love anagrams. You know, the things where you rearrange the letters in a word to get another word. For instance, if you rearrange the letters in “debit card” you get “bad credit.” Well, have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in “Fighting Chicks” you get “Chicks Fighting?” Which is awesome. Especially if they do it in oil.

Others receiving votes: Claremore Zebras, Haskell Haymakers, Clinton Red Tornadoes, Yukon Millers, Crooked Oak Ruf-Nex, Boswell Scorpions, Davidson Sandies, Alva Goldbugs, Mill Creek Bullfrogs, Deer Creek Antlers, Elk City Elks, Waynoka Railroaders

Others receiving consideration, but no votes: Blackwell Maroons, Perry Maroons, Charles Page Sandites, Dewey Bulldoggers, Eufala Ironheads, Grove Ridgerunners, Muskogee Roughers, Newcastle Racers, Nowata Ironmen, Tulsa Rogers Ropers, Willburton Diggers

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Comments

  1. Atoka Wampus Cats, anyone?

    Also, we used to have the Buffalo Bison and the Bison Buffalo, but I think the town of Bison (near Enid) dried up long ago, so I doubt a school stil exists.

  2. For whatever reason, the source I was using just lists Atoka as the “Cats.”

    I did consider the Buffalo Bison and the Buffalo Valley Buffaloes, but dropped them off the list schools right at the end. I can’t really remember why.

  3. I don’t doubt most of your top ten, but the ruf-nex need some love. that really is an excellent name, and more deserving than, say, the whippets.

  4. If Hooker were actually the Beavers, they would have been number one without any discussion. Even if they were actually the Horny Toads (which is what a lot of people think is the school’s nickname), they probably would have made the list. Instead, they are, like 35 other schools in the state, the Bulldogs.

  5. I think the Oklahoman did this article a few years ago too, but without the humor.

    Still, I hold you in the highest regard.

  6. I was not aware of that. Someone told me it was the Hooker Beavers and I believed them. But then again, I actually thought there were such thing as snipe.

  7. I’m with Gary – give the Wampus Cats some recognition! They certainly aren’t getting any for their football record.

  8. I had Bishop Kelly written down at one point, but took it off when I realized that Classen, Dickson, Hinton, Kansas, and Velma-Alma are all the Comets as well.

    Sorry, Bishop Kelly fans! Just not quite unique enough.

  9. My prestigious high school should have made the list, if it were for the female teams. You have to love the Nowata Lady Ironmen. No gender bender there

  10. Speaking of the Lady Ironmen, I always appreciate the various feminine forms that mascots take.

    Because Lord knows that there are no female Tigers, but Tigerettes are running wild in the streets!

    Tigerettes? That’s not even a word.

  11. Yes, my alma mater No. 1! I’m the same way though, figured the Atoka Wampus Cats would be on the list.

  12. I have always found it amusing how the towns of Hooker, Felt, and Beaver were all lined up next to one another!!

  13. I always throught that Nowata’s girls were the “Ironwomen”? I’ll ask my sisters since they went there…

  14. 18 & 21: You’d be amazed at how many schools with identical nicknames there are in the state. It’s almost hard to come up with something unique.

    There are five “Savages” (Broken Bow, Leflore, Quinton, Tecumsah, and Wynnewood) and there are five “Demons” (Beggs, Crowder, Dibble, Duncan, Perkins-Tryon).

    I was shocked that so many of the same names kept coming up.

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