If you missed Part I, you are severely lacking in knowledge of the Juror Orientation process in federal district court.  It’s up to you to decide whether that is something you need in order to become a well rounded person.  We left off with me being sent to the Juror Assembly Room….

(Note:  Because much of this section had to be done from memory–I couldn’t take notes inconspicuously during the Voir Dire process–I am ditching the time designations)

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JUROR ASSEMBLY ROOM

• The assembly room is slightlymore comfortable than the court room I just left.  That isn’t saying much considering the orientation court room was stocked with uncushioned wooden pews.  There is a sofa near the entrance, and while there was space for me to post up there, I knew that sitting there would have meant having someone else sitting right next to me…and that would have been a bit too cozy.  I find a seat in an ordinary waiting room chair.
• There are about half a dozen plasma screen televisions attached to the ceiling and spread out throughout the room.  I am willing to bet everything in my pocket, including my wife’s hot pink cell phone, that those will all be tuned to Fox News within the hour.
• There is a piano in one corner of the room with puzzles stacked on top of it…does the Juror Assembly Room double as a Senior Citizen’s Center?
• The first call for a juror pool comes
  • I am not on the list
• Call number two comes…the deputy doing the calling is the smug deputy from Judge Val’s courtroom
  • A lady corrects the deputy who calls her name, and this time I understand.  Her last name?  Fuchs.  It’s pronounced Fyooks.
  • No luck…more waiting for Clark
• Third time is the charm
  • Along with myself, the random sampling also includes the guy with the Abe Lincoln beard, the guy who looks like a member of Z.Z. Top, the guy with all the facial piercings, and the lady who is dressed like a witch…if the guy who tried to convince the judge he was retarded had been in this group, every person I recognized during the orientation would be in this group.  It’s shaping up like one of those camp movies where the main character meets everyone he will come into contact with in the opening scene.
• On the elevator ride up to the courtroom, I get stuck standing between Abe and Z.Z.  They smell like a hybrid of old milk and rotten hot dogs.  Both are sweating profusely after our walk of approximately twenty yards. Continue reading ‘Ogle Embed: Jury Duty (Part II)’