20. Have Maggie Carlo fight Amy McRee in a bikini oil wrestling match on pay-per-view.
We know that Amy McRee looks good in a bikini. And we are pretty sure that Maggie Carlo would look good in a bikini. But we are 100% sure that Amy McRee and Maggie Carlo would look amazing in a bikini oil wrestling brawl. This idea must be added to the book.
19. Screw that! Televise the Maggie Carlo/Amy McRee fight on OETA during Festival 2008.
The only thing better than a pay-per-view bikini oil wrestling fight between Maggie Carlo and Amy McRee would be a FREE bikini oil wrestling fight between Maggie Carlo and Amy McRee. Plus, with the match occurring during an OETA pledge drive, the state’s public television network would raise enough money to cover operating costs for the next 20 years.
18. Oh yeah, have Mark Rodgers do the play-by-play and Toby Rowland provide the color. Make Lauren Richardson the sideline reporter.
Seems like a good trio. Mark and Toby could both offer inside analysis, and Lauren seems like the perfect sideline reporter.
17. Change the state bird from the Scissor-Tailed Flycatcher to the Hook Echo.
Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I saw a real life Scissor-Tailed Flycatcher. But the Hook Echo. We see them all the time. And even though it’s not a bird, it does fly and it’s pretty powerful. Plus Gary England likes them.
16. Force Mayor Mick to wear a replica Kevin Durant jersey during all public events.
About a year ago, Esquire wrote some story about the best dressed mayors in the US and our own Mayor Mick made the list. That’s great and all, but we think it’s time that he starts wearing a Kevin Durant jersey everywhere he goes. Maybe that will get the team here sooner.
15. Rename the Arkansas River the “We’re actually better than Arkansas river.”
Arkansas is one of a few states that we are actually allowed to make fun of without being hypocrites. Because of that, we should change the name of the river to simply one-up those toothless hillbilly inbred rednecks in Arkansas.
14. Open a new Yucatan Liquor Stand in Bricktown.
Nothing’s better than hearing folks in their late 30’s tell drunken stories about the old Yucatan Liquor Stand. In fact, the stories are so good it makes me kind of wish that it was still around. After this idea is accomplished, we’ll work on reopening Tampico Bay.
13. Keep Norman weird.
Yeah…so this is stealing from the whole Keep Austin Weird thing, but Norman is a strange town, and we should keep it that way. If you need proof, just check out NormanMusicScene.com.
12. Make all metro Sonics serve soft drinks in icy cold mugs.
Listen, if they are going to charge ungodly amounts of cash for their soft drinks, we should at least get to keep a mug. We were also thinking that all Sonic locations should sell Christmas trees during the holiday season, but then nobody would have a reason to go to Coits.
11. Do something about Look@OKC.
It’s probably pretty obvious, but we don’t really get or understand Look @ OKC. It’s not that we think it’s a bad magazine, but it seems to just lack something. Maybe it’s the fact that it’s owned by the Oklahoman. Or maybe it’s because the Gazette is better. Who knows. But as long as the keep publishing ghey covers like the one above and don’t update the “caption competition” for our enjoyment, Look @ OKC may be a lost cause.
I see flycatchers on the regular but I spend way too much time in western Oklahoma. I still think the hook echo would probably be a better representation.
The “do something” about Look@OKC would be to put a pillow over its face until it quit moving. And did they REALLY put out an issue with the question “Is art, art? Are we art?” three times? Did they ever find the answer?
I only get back to town from Oregon maybe once a year, and I see at least 2 or 3 scissortails when I’m there. You have to actually leave the city limits, though.
Oh, and Keep Austin Weird was ripped off from the long-standing Keep Portland Weird campaign here. I’ve seen enough of those bumper stickers for the last 8 years to cut my own eyes out.
Lauren Richardson must be in a bikini, also.
To hell with the bikini’s, nude oil wrestling on OETA! That would garner a pledge from me.
| <-There’s the line you just crossed!
Ah, the Shoot-A-Man Liquor Stand. Good times…
My friend called it the Puke-a-Tan. Had forgotten all about it really.
norman’s weird? really? i had no idea cracker barrel and sooner mall were weird. maybe i’ll go to a bar owned by a football coach and judge sorority girls later today. and then, in april, i’ll go to the medieval fair. fine. you win.
I like the oil wrestling match idea. Here’s what I see happening. About halfway through the match Lauren Richardson would feel left out, quickly strip down to her underwear, jump into the wrestling match and as she lands the pink bikini malfunctions and falls off. Mark and toby are literally speechless.
One more thing, BOB PUT NICHOL IN THE FREAKIN GAME!
“big boy says:
One more thing, BOB PUT NICHOL IN THE FREAKIN GAME!”
Go back to OF and stop trying to sully my beloved TheLostOgle.
Does Mayor Mick actually have a stake in the Buffalo Wild Wings on NW Highway? He’s in there EVERY time I go there for lunch, which is a couple times a month…playing trivia with his son. Shouldn’t he be busy building a new arena for OUR BUNCH?
Only if Mary Joseph “suits up” to referee . . .