Archive for November, 2007 Page 3 of 4



Oklahoma Initiative Ideas: 30-21

30. Force all Hobby Lobby employees to go to church on Sunday.

A few weeks ago I went to Hobby Lobby on a Sunday.* They were closed so that their employees could enjoy a day of rest or faith or something with their family. Whatever, I bet that a bunch of Hobby Lobby employees-especially those from the frame department-were getting drunk and stoned on Saturday night. If these employees are going to get a free pass on Sunday, they should at least go to church.

* Despite going to Hobby Lobby on a Sunday, I am still proudly a heterosexual.

Continue reading ‘Oklahoma Initiative Ideas: 30-21′

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Basketball Season Is Upon Us

As everyone in Stillwater and 17 people in Norman know, college basketball season is upon us. That is why this post includes a picture of Jenna Plumley revealing her true feelings for me.

For both OU and OSU, there are many question marks this season. Will highly touted recruits Blake Griffin and James Anderson be able to lead their respective teams to the NCAA tournament? Will Sean Sutton make it through the season without collapsing? Will the Lloyd-Noble Center extend it’s record of most consecutive seasons being the most poorly lit arena in the country? And hey, what about Fraggle Rock? Remember that show?

Sorry, I lost my train of thought there. Where was I? Oh yes, unanswered questions.

For instance:

Will the clip of Jeff Capel hitting the game-tying shot against North Carolina be shown during more than 20 of OU’s broadcasts?

Will Marcus Dove continue to have the worst celebratory hand signal in college basketball?

Will my campaign to get OU fans to embrace the nickname “Big Baby Food” for Beau Gerber fail for a second season in a row?

Will this story become reality?

Will Chris Walker manage to average more than a turnover a game despite being a graduate assistant for the Sooners and not an actual player?

For my part, I’m going Yes, Yes, Yes, Please God Make It Happen, Yes. But I’m notoriously terrible at predicting things. Like the time I predicted the red dot would beat the yellow dot during the dot race. Also, Betamax. I picked Betamax over VHS. Man, I’m getting depressed over my predicting skills. Thank god it’s Friday.

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Ogle Embedded: Jury Duty (Part I)

 

The dreaded summons came to my home.  Sure, it isn’t quite as bad as the kind of summons that says you are being sued, but jury duty still sucks.  I know because this is my second time to be called even though I still haven’t hit thirty.  (And yes, I’m tired of senior citizens marvelling, “You’ve been called twice?  I’ve never been called for jury duty.”  Bite me, Grandma.)

Having done a stint at the county courthouse when I was a young pup of eighteen, when I at least had my college text books to study, I knew I was in for hours and hours of boredom.  So, when I showed up at the Federal Courthouse, I came up with a plan to fight the tedium:  share my experience with you, TheLostOgle reader. Continue reading ‘Ogle Embedded: Jury Duty (Part I)’

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Make it Shine for Aught-Seven

As an eleven-year-old sixth grader in 1989, I remember my dad trying to convince me that the centennial parade sounded like fun. Being eleven, I disagreed and refused to accompany him.

“You probably won’t live to see the next centennial,” he reminded me.

Now, as a 29 year old father and CPA, I just skipped another centennial parade, and am contemplating whether “Statehood Day” festivities are worth my time. I mean seriously, the one hundred year celebration of Oklahoma City as the capitol is less than three years away, and the centennial celebration of Paul Harvey spreading urban legends via “The Rest of the Story” is a couple years after that.

Besides, the Land Run Centennial was superior for one reason: “Make it Shine!” Continue reading ‘Make it Shine for Aught-Seven’

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The OU band won, too.

Last Saturday, the University of Oklahoma defeated Texas AM 42-14 in a tremendously boring (yet fun) game at Owen Field. Lost in the glory of the big win was a tremendous upset, which was the Pride of Oklahoma becoming the first band to ever outperform the “Nationally Famous” Fightin’ Texas Aggie Band during the halftime of a football game.

Seriously, where did this come from? Usually the Pride just plays tributes to 1950’s Show Tunes or Queen classics. The theory here has always been that they are forced to do this to satisfy the demands and desires of President Boren. So who knows how they were able to sneak Thriller into the routine. Maybe President Boren was on vacation? Or maybe Michael Jackson’s music is now officially ghey enough to satisfy the president?

Regardless of the reason, if you’re in the Pride, please keep this up. These 20-minute halftimes last way too long and we need good entertainment. Maybe this Saturday we can have some moshing to Smells Like Teen Spirit. And to make Clark Matthews happy, a rendition of Love is a Battlefield for Bedlam.

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Statehood Day Preparations Are Not Complete

Did you know that this is the 100th anniversary of Oklahoma statehood? Apparently that’s why there has been all these celebrations of “Oklahoma’s Centennial.” I thought that it was because our state had finally reached a population of 100. But then, I haven’t left my basement in nearly 20 years, so I don’t really have any idea what is going on in the world.

In any event, it seems that at least one Native American group is planning on protesting our statehood celebration because they feel Native Americans haven’t been adequately represented.

If that’s true, it really is terrible and I hope the situation is rectified, because Native Americans obviously play a giant and important role in Oklahoma’s history. Less publicized are the other groups being overlooked on Statehood Day. Some might say that they are less publicized because they aren’t nearly as important as Native Americans. They would be right. But as a service to you, the reader, I thought I would give a quick rundown of five groups you will unfortunately not be seeing represented during the Statehood Day celebrations.

Here they are:

The Participants in the Robbers Cave Experiment

Back in 1954, a group of OU researchers dropped a bunch of 12-year-old boys at Robbers Cave State Park and separated them into two groups. The amazing findings of the experiment were that 12-year-old boys tend to be very competitive. I know I’m just some young whippersnapper that needs to get off your lawn, but was this really such a revelation in 1954?

In any event, it is not fair that things like the Stanford Prison Experiment remain staples of Pscyh 101 classes while the Robbers Cave Experiment is largely forgotten. We need to bring the boys who took part in this back for Statehood Day and have Brad Henry give them a medal or something.

Continue reading ‘Statehood Day Preparations Are Not Complete’

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Is Imitation the Highest Form of Flattery?

look-at-okc-ii.gif

On October 12th, I posted an item called Fun With Pictures, where I said:

I figured this would be a neat little exercise to do whenever it appears that the three of us have a serious case of bloggers block (which seems to be today’s case). I’ll call it “Fun with Pictures”, where we take three outstanding pictures from Oklahoma websites and provide our own neat little captions. And, since our reader comments are usually a lot better than what we write, please contribute your captions, too. Whoever provides the best one wins a piece of Clark Matthews’ Birthday Cake.

This week we are featuring pictures from the Look@OKC website. See them after the jump. Good luck!

A few weeks later, I posted another Fun With Pictures–only this time I featured Wayne Coyne’s interview with NewsOK anchorthingys Dave Morris and Angi Bruss.

I bring up these boring facts because earlier today I visited NewsOK to search for Mr. Monday’s lost column. After a few seconds, I was greeted by the blurb above, which announces a “Caption Competition” at Look@OKC. Here’s the gist:

Here is the Photo of the Week from LOOK@OKC. Tell us what it says to you. Submit your caption below. Then check back to find out what the best caption is and to see the next Photo of the Week!

Okay. I know we didn’t invent stupid little photo caption contests. I’ll also admit that I don’t know how long Look@OKC has been running this contest (although I think it’s pretty new). But when you take this “Caption Competition” and combine it with Mr. Monday using our Kelvin Sampson Halloween costume idea in a column, it makes me wonder if a list of Oklahoma’s Top 100 Mortifications will soon be coming from the state’s largest newspaper. And if you are going to rip off a “Caption Competition” idea from a local amateur website, at least give us some good, funny pictures to caption. Not one of some guy and a floating tennis ball.

Anyway, in the name of immature spite and good obnoxious fun, I say that we all should try to rig the competition…or at least contribute! We’ll even offer a prize. If you are able to win this week’s caption contest by somehow incorporating the words “Lost” and “Ogle” into your submission (and I hope you submit more than one), you will win one of our new Lost Ogle shirts. Cheesy, huh?!?

Also, if you want to really help us out, Look at OKC is now hiring photographers. Please apply and take some bad pictures. We want more unintentionally funny stuff to poke fun at.

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Justice League of Oklahoma (Part III)

Previously: After saving the town of Greer from a cataclysmic weather event, Doug Sauter and Joe Burton were themselves saved by Lauren Richardson. Upon return, however, Lauren’s heroics were not appreciated by Gary England. As she left, Mike Morgan requested a meeting with her.

——– Continue reading ‘Justice League of Oklahoma (Part III)’

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