Archive for February, 2008 Page 2 of 4

« Previous Entries
Next Entries »

Vince Gill is Naive

Published by
Clark Matthews
 on February 21, 2008

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zert2162kzI

One has to forgive Vince Gill for his naivete.  He is way past the age of those who are familiar with how the rap industry operates, and he grew up sheltered on the prairies of this state.  However, there are just some things you do not do, and right behind tugging on Superman’s Cape or spitting into the wind is dissing a rapper publicly.  Sure, chiding Kanye West (who is, by all accounts, the least Gangsta of rappers) for not receiving an award from a Beatle is not on par with Snoop Dogg waving his award in the air and declaring, “the East Coast ain’t got no love for Death Row,” but Gill obviously did not understand the gravity of his faux pas.

What I see happening next is that a convoy of thugs will attack Vince as he leaves his honky tonk recording studio.  Soon thereafter, Gill will record a country cover of 2Pac’s “Hit ‘em Up” (something that is long overdue, by the way) directed at West’s posse.  Next thing you know, Gill will be mowed down after a scuffle at an Indian casino.  Afterwards, a slew of posthumous albums will come out to keep the legend of Vince Gill going.

(Thanks to Blythe for pointing this out to us.  Like the rest of America, we at TheLostOgle did not actually watch the Grammys.)

Category: OKC Music. 5 Comments

“It will be mine. Oh yes! It will be mine.”

Published by
Patrick
 on February 20, 2008

It’s hard to even make up stories that are this good.

As you probably know, State Labor Commissioner Lloyd Fields was sent to the drunk tank this past Saturday night after trying to…get this…steal a bull rider’s guitar at a rodeo after-party.

Welcome to OOOOOOOklahoma, ladies and gentlemen. In other states, labor officials are involved in shady midnight deals behind an old abandoned warehouse by the dock, where they exchange black briefcases with union leaders and people use code names like “Mother Fox” and “Dakota.” But here in Oklahoma, our labor commissioner just attempts to steal a rodeo cowboy’s guitar at a good old fashion hootenanny.

Anyway, in a clever attempt to make this story even better, sources have confirmed to The Lost Ogle that authorities are investigating the possibility that Commissioner Fields utilized the services of an accomplice in the attempted guitar heist. For a complete rundown of the suspects, click the little “click more” button.

Continue reading ‘“It will be mine. Oh yes! It will be mine.”’

Category: Mathis Brothers, OU Football, Oklahoma City Media and The Sports Animal. 16 Comments

OKC Basketball Fans Are Geniuses

Published by
Tony
 on February 19, 2008

Today I was going to write a long, side-splittingly hilarious post about whether or not the Sonics should move to Oklahoma City. But then I saw this video and realized that there’s no way I could top this guy. I really hope Mayor Mick Cornett is watching, because I doubt he’s considered everything brought up in this important video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KziYf6tsxCE

(h/t to those dastardly innerwebbers)

Category: Basketball in OKC and Unusual. 31 Comments

This is The Ladies Room…

Published by
Patrick
 on February 18, 2008

Talk about unintentional comedy gold, watch this clip. The only thing missing is the little hipster girl asking the old General if she would like any schweddy balls:


If I ever meet a lady that watches The Ladies Room, please wake me up and ask me why I am eating at the Queen Anne Cafeteria, and better yet, to hurry up and help my grandma with her tray. Come on! What the hell are the people at NewsOK.com thinking and how did this series get a greenlight? Can you imagine the first few production meetings:

“Let’s get Angie Bruss, a homely virgin-looking girl and a hipster to talk about relevant topics to today’s woman.”

“Yes, sir! What should we call it?”

“The Ladies Room. And be sure to get us a General to interview. Or at least Jenni Carlson.“

Anyway, maybe I’m being too hard on the people at NewsOK.com (or should we say NewsOK.tv). I mean The Ladies Room is funny, and they are making strides in other areas (liking having Sally Eastridge change up her outfit and lose the Mardi Grad Beads). But if they were really smart, they would do away with most of their shows and give us more George Lang and Heather Warlick. Or better yet, screw George Lang and just give us more Heather Warlick. Maybe even send her to Braum’s to make ice cream or something…

Category: NewsOK and The Daily Oklahoman. 14 Comments

Something Else Al Gore Didn’t Invent

Published by
Clark Matthews
 on February 15, 2008

Last night, on a romantic Valentine’s Day spent on the couch, I was flipping through the millions of channels on digital cable and, of course, nothing was on.  Lacking other options, I stopped briefly on a channel that was playing An Inconvenient Truth, and there was Al Gore telling us to stock up on bottled water and hide in a cave (preferrably well above current sea level).

Love him or hate him, there is no denying that Al Gore is the current standard bearer for the environmentalist movement.  So, imagine my surprise when I found this YouTube video below where this left coast, elitist was pitching his tree hugging wares to Oklahoma back when Senator Gore’s only concern was that my impressionable ears not be able to hear Eazy E badmouth law enforcement.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBeVBUACqFc

The hippies of the Reagan era sure looked different.

(edit:  For some reason, the YouTube link is not working, but you should be able to view the video if you click here.)

Category: OKC History. 10 Comments

What Dave Morris Will Look Like In 30 Years

Published by
Tony
 on February 14, 2008

I was flipping through a newspaper earlier and I saw this picture. My first thought wasn’t “Hey, look. It’s the greatest songwriter of all time.” The first thing I thought was “This is what Dave Morris will look like in 30 years.”

That is my life in a nutshell, folks. That is the horror story of my existence, thanks to this little blog.

Category: Dave Morris, The Lost Ogle and Unusual. 4 Comments

10 BAD Local Valentine’s Day Date Ideas…

Published by
Patrick
 on February 14, 2008

honeybees.jpg

So, today is Valentine’s Day. Thank god I’ve come down with the flu. That means I now have the best excuse ever to not go out with the dozens of Lost Ogle groupies who were begging for me to be their Valentine. Instead I get to stay at home by myself and smear that weird anti-vomiting stuff on my wrists and just fall asleep.

Anyway, after that great visual, I’ll segue to the following email we received at The Lost Ogle mailbag:

I have a question that perhaps you are equipped to answer (or maybe Patrick’s perverted roommate can chime in). As you know, Valentine’s Day is approaching quickly. As a very romantic man myself, I have spent many hours measuring my options for wooing a lady on Valentine’s Day, and I have now encountered a conundrum that I can’t possibly resolve on my own.

For Valentine’s Day, we lucky Central Oklahomans have a choice between two entertainment legends: Tom Jones at the Riverwind Casino in Norman or Wayne Newton at Firelake Grand Casino in Shawnee. The question is: to which legendary performer’s show should one take his lady if one has high hopes of amorous relations with said very classy lady?

I know, it is an embarrassment of riches to be faced with such entertainment options right here in Oklahoma, but coinciding with the best chance of ass-gettin’ all year long makes it vital that we weigh our options with great care to arrive at the proper decision.

I humbly await your guidance.

A Very Romantic Okie

Honestly, the question was too tough for us to answer. I asked my perverted roommate for his input, but he grew up in Chickasha and can’t read or write too well. I even went to Lauren Richardson to get her opinion, but got this odd reply:

No, I will not go to Braum’s and then to an Indian Casino with you. Leave me alone.

Since we really can’t answer the Tom Jones/Wayne Newton question, we’ll just put it on our list of 10 bad local Valentine’s Day date ideas. Check out the other 9 after the jump:

Continue reading ‘10 BAD Local Valentine’s Day Date Ideas…’

Category: Braum's, Dave Morris, Lauren Richardson, OKC Blazers, OSU Basketball and OU Basketball. 22 Comments

The Tulsa World Gives Me Nightmares

Published by
Tony
 on February 13, 2008

Yesterday, there was an article in the Tulsa World that will surely go down as the scariest news story of 2008. This was not about a murderer on the loose or some incurable disease that’s spreading across the country: No, this story involves speculation that Tom Coburn could be selected as John McCain’s running mate in the 2008 election.

I think we all can agree that this is somewhere between “hilariously bad” and “horrifyingly bad” on the scale of bad ideas.

Still, it would be pretty cool to have an Oklahoman in the White House (or, I guess, one heartbeat away from the White House). It’s just that there are so many better choices than Coburn. Here are a few ideas for potential presidential running mates, and what they would bring to the ticket/administration:

Brad Henry

Can you hear it now, fellow citizens? We’re talking Green Card Lottery Expert.

James Hale

Could convince a nation that, even in a time of recession, that nothing is wrong. And when one of the president’s bills gets voted down, could make it clear that the President never wanted the bill to pass in the first place. Also, would likely shut down all of America’s Burger Kings.

Megan Mullalley

Has a shockingly boisterous following that would immediately enthuse campaign.

Doug Gottlieb

When a gaffe occurs during the campaign, could deflect attention away from the candidate by running around with his pants on backwards.

Paul Harvey

Uniquely qualified for job as politician as he has no problem telling outlandish, colorful stories with little basis in fact.

Dr. Phil

Can apparently solve massive problems with nothing more than a 1-hour television program. Imagine what he could do if he had a 1-hour television program PLUS the ability to control the United States Navy. I know, right?

Dear readers, tell us what Okie you’d like to see on the ticket this November.

(And thanks to the elusive BabySealClubSamich for alerting me to this potential atrocity)

Category: Oklahoma Politics. 38 Comments
« Previous Entries
Next Entries »