Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Uncovered: The Sports Animal’s Secret Letter To Sean Sutton

The Lost Ogle’s investigative team was dispatched into the field today to see if they could find the real reason behind Sean Sutton’s firing. They did not, but they were able to uncover a secret letter sent from the Sports Animal to Sutton after he was let go earlier today. It’s kind of yucky. You can find it after the jump.

Dearest Sean,

We wish to give you our deepest sympathies. We give you our assurance that none of us will be the least bit critical of you during this time and that we will mock anyone who attempts to justify your firing, just like we do of those who criticize Brent Venables and the Oklahoma defense.

We know that when you were named as Eddie Sutton’s successor we gave you credit for recruiting and running practices during Eddie’s final years and said you were as big or bigger a part of OSU’s success than Eddie himself. But it is our utmost promise that we will forget we said all that and claim that you only had two years to do your job.

The problem obviously lies with Mike Holder, a man completely in over his head. A real smart athletic director, like say a Jon Saraceno, Cal Ripken, Mackie McNeer or Bluto Blutarsky would never have made this decision. Bobbie Burbridge Lane wouldn’t have done it either, even if you sold an old lady’s bible for just a quarter.

Also, we are sorry about anything Carey Murdock may have said on the radio today. He has yet to be informed that the Sutton family is off limits on our station. Our henchmen are on the way and we assure you that he will be disappeared into the night, or “Aaron Tuttle’d,” as we say around these parts.

If there is anything you need, please let us know.

Sincerely,
The Animal Airstaff

P.S.- Sorry we couldn’t join you for beers and pizza at Chuck E. Cheese. We were stuck listening to Traber talk about his near death experience.

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Comments

  1. At the end of the day Holder is a tool. It is what it is. I think he truly believes that money will get him Self or Gillespie. Maybe he is right, but he is going to have to back the (Boone’s) truck up.

  2. Is it just me or does Shawn have a sweating problem? I mean seriously, does this man need some of the hyper-medicated stuff that Chad Johnson advertises or what?!

  3. Didn’t Holder start the news conference with an apology or “This will hurt me more than you-sic” Never trust a story that begins with an apology?Is Uncle Boone behind this? I think Lost Ogle should do an investigative story on the firing situation. Their report would be more interesting/informative than Uncle Gaylord’s, Jenni’s, trammel’s or the cardboard man.

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