Archive for May 2nd, 2008

Something new is coming…

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This weekend, we will be upgrading to a new version of WordPress and also playing with a cosmetic redesign.  So, if you’re totally freaking out right now, don’t worry and don’t panic.   Everything will be fine.   However, if you see a manifesto from Brent Skarky, do panic and do contact Gary England immediately.  If something else is wrong, leave a comment or send us an email.

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David Payne’s Tornado Orgasm

Thanks to head Innerwebber SoonerDude for throwing this up on YouTube (and for the Houston Fiasco, for that matter).

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March for Babies

WARNING: This post is not going to be funny. And when I say it’s not going to be funny, I don’t mean it in a “nothing Clark Matthews writes is funny” way. I mean it is a serious post on a serious subject. If you come to this site to escape from reality, I beseech you to come back later when Patrick or Tony, maybe even me, catch you up on the latest happenings at the Okfuskee County Jail or give you an update on the whereabouts of Chubby Johnson.

For most people, pregnancy is a wonderful time where the morning sickness and uncomfortable weight gain eventually lead to bringing home a child to begin or add on to their family. That is not the case for all, though, and not just the teenagers who failed their abstinence-only education classes. Sometimes babies fail to wait until they are developed enough to survive outside the womb. For those prospective mothers and fathers, pregnancy becomes a nightmare.

Thanks to the people at the March of Dimes, there are some happy endings for some of these families. Their research has provided Newborn Intensive Care Units with procedures that can assist in keeping some of these underdeveloped children breathing and growing and eventually going home, growing up, and having babies of their own.

Tomorrow morning (May 5th) at the Myriad Gardens, the March of Dimes’ biggest fundraiser/awareness-building activity will occur. For those of you who aren’t too hungover to walk 6.2 miles and can wake up before 9:00, there will be “March for Babies” in which (hopefully) thousands of people will walk around downtown to the capitol and back. At the ending point local businesses will sponsor free food, and you will be in close proximity to Bricktown where, I hear, they sell alcohol.

For those of you who are lazy, but still want to support the March of Dimes, I have set up a team page for TheLostOgle. You can even use Paypal to make the donation.

Back to your regular, silly, programming.

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We Are All Going To Die

I’ve been planning on taking a vacation this summer, so I decided to do some research beforehand. The last time I just got in my car and started driving. I’d rather not go into great detail, but let’s just say it didn’t turn out all that well (and that porcupines, tequila and snorkeling is not a good combination).

Anyway, while doing my research, I ran across this list on AOL.com of the Top 10 Places To Not Visit. When I saw this, I thought to myself, “This will be a very useful tool. When I think travel knowledge and competence in general, I think AOL.”

These places are known, according to the list, as “hells on earth.” I think you might surprised to find out that the #5 place in the world Not To Visit is our own Oklahoma City. To put this in some perspective, OKC is the only city in the States to make the list. We rank as a worse place to visit than Baghdad and Chernobyl. I mean, Doug Sauter’s mustache is as terrifying to me as the next guy, but I always thought we were at least in better shape than most warzones.

Here is what they said about us:

The weather is frighteningly unpredictable, with blizzards often descending on the city and winds that could knock a high rise clean off its feet. It is, after all, located in the direct path of “Tornado Alley.” The worst time to visit would be from March to August, when the severe weather season makes Dorothy’s Kansas look positively calm. One of the most powerful tornadoes on record — an F5 with wind speeds of 320 mph — devastated much of the city in 1999.

Oh. Maybe these people don’t exactly know what they’re talking about. Perhaps I should put Mogadishu back on my list of potential vacation spots after all.

UPDATE: I guess they removed us from their list. That takes all the fun out of it. Boo.

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Hot-Girl-a-Day-in-the-Month-of-May: Carrie Underwood

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