Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Tulsa Tuesday – Where Will You Wimgo? Crack Den?

The Wimgo Project is a campaign of painful, brightly lit background, minimalist videos that explain why people love Oklahoma.

After 100 years, “Oklahoma is OK,” hasn’t caught on.

It is hard to explain why you love your state when the tag line inspires, “We’re just ok.”

The videos feature captivating topics, such as: “How I Learned Tulsa Streets,” “Where I Like to Eat,” and “Why I Love Prison Rodeos.” Topics that make Oklahoma seem, well, ok.

If they want to show the true Oklahoma, the videos should focus on Oklahomans that make the state exciting. Randy Terrill, Mathis Brothers or any random meth head, for example.

Here’s how I imagine the spontaneity would play out:

(To get the true concept of the following possible transcripts, you must feel the Wimgo Project for yourself. Click here before reading further.)

Randy Terrill:

My favorite thing about Oklahoma is the legal citizens. I especially like the ones that speak English. I really like the ones that support my English only bill. I also love the passion that Oklahomans have and the angry energy of protesters at the HB1804 rallies. Their passion makes my twig and berries riper than the red dirt clay in Western Oklahoma. I don’t know what that means, but it sounds Okie. I love people that speak English. English, mmmmmmmmmmmm.

Mathis Brothers, Bill and Larry:

Bill: The greatest thing about Oklahoma is that there are endless supplies of children and dogs to sit on our laps.
Larry: Just walk into any park and you can have your choice of color.
Bill: Like these Ashley rockers.
Larry: On sale for $139.
Bill: Or this chair side set that normally retails for $600,000.
Larry: Now, only $19.95 at Mathis Brothers.
Bill: I forgot why I was here.
Larry: Me too.
Bill: Wimgo.
Larry: That’s right Wimgo.

Random Methhead:

My favorite thing about Oklahoma is the dollar stores. Do you have any money? You can get more bang for your buck. Man, am I crashing. I can buy cold medicine and coolant for a couple of bucks. Is that a dwarf? The profit margin from the ingredients you buy at the dollar is huge. I need a toothbrush, that tile is dirty. Does this look like cancer? My heart hurts. Why is it so bright in here? Am I in Heaven? You can spare a few bucks. Can I crash at your place?

In the closing shots, Terrill will rub his nipples, Bill will drop the dog, which the methhead will sell for crack.

 

(Don’t forget to check out Mattatarian’s Food Offering of the Week [Eggroll Edition] or read this gem, Ten Signs You’re at a Free Drillers Game.)

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Comments

  1. About Wimgo-I opened the site. Yak-Yak-Yak-Yak-Yak-Yak…………………………………………………………………………………Yak………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………Yak………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..Yak………………………………………………………………………………….Yak!

  2. The only thing good about Wimgo is the name, and that’s not even really good, just fun to say — when you are high off of Angi Bruss’ intelligence

  3. “First, I’d like to find out who stole my expensive cardboard cutout. That’s where I’d like to go. I’d like to shape your minds…

    “Then, you know, I love the hospitals here. Most people don’t know about the hospitals in Oklahoma. Sure, I almost died, but hey, now I’ve got the bag, and going back in. I mean they’re good people, as long as my brother (he’s a doctor who played at Michigan, if you haven’t heard)is watching over them.

    “OSU baseball is also great. Now what they’ve done at OU, that’s a different story, big fella.

    “I also like Oklahoma because there are a lot of salt of the Earth people here — just not enough to keep my once fledgling political talk show from being taken over by those people my good friend, daggum what’s the guy’s name….geeeez… Randy…yeah, Randy Terrill is trying to keep from coming here.

    “The one thing Oklahoma doesn’t have is Cal Ripken, Jr. Now Billy, he was a wild man, but Cal, (I’ve got his cell phone number) was a real guy, just a great guy. I can’t say it enough. If he were in Oklahoma, this would be heaven.

    “One place I won’t go is to girls basketball. But Norman North football, this is going to be their year.”

  4. You reckon they wuz too sceered to talk to me while i wuz noodlin’? Now that would a shode em Oklahoma… noodlin’

  5. You left one thing out of the Mathis Brothers dialouge:

    Bill: Or this chair, that normally retails for $600,000 dollars…ten years ago.

  6. I would give anything to see a Wimgo ad featuring both Bob Barry Sr. and Danny Williams.

  7. Wimgo,huh! Well, my birhtday celebration at Bricktown Ballpark was a real Oklahoma experience. I want to tell you about it. My girlfriend brought the $10.00 “all you can eat” tickets. The guy at the ticket window failed to tell us we would be sitting in the pigeon crap section of the park. One small concession stand served everyone who bought the “special” tickets. I can only described the magical atmosphere of trying to obtain some food (cold,dry,and stale) in the midst of such a large crowd, as one would experience at a refugee camp scampering for a cup of rice being dispensed by local and angry warlord flunkies from the back of a small relief truck. After downing my gruel, I got to watch my girlfriend down a $6.00 can of beer. We left the game early and arrived home in time to view VIPER with Gary “check it out” England. Contrary to what you might be thinking after reading this little excerpt, no domestic violence charges ensued. Thanks for letting me share my Oklahoma experience.

  8. What the hell has the name Wimgo got to do with Oklahoma at all? Was the braintrust behind that site playing Scrabble one day, and that is the letters he was dealt? “Hmm, I got an I, a G, an O, and W, M… hey, that spells Wimgo, I know, I’ll make a website all about Oklahoma and use that name since it is cool sounding.” Yeah yeah, supposed to stand for “Where/Why/When I’m Going”, stupid name. How about “IDONCARWURGO”… I am sure you can guess what that means.
    Worst marketing idea ever… next to that 1-800-2-Sell-Homes and the Bob Howard commercials.

  9. The Dark Lords are proud to present our new series of videos filmed by our own “Lost Ogle Vigilante.” In these videos, we will expose TLO’s daily antics like Clark and Patrick rubbing butter on their nipples as they bathe together in a tub full of green jello.

    Other wild antics caught on tape by our TLO vigilante include Clark paying community college students and OPUBCO interns to take photos our the Dark Tower lobby and pictures of our Amiga 2000 that is responsible for brand and new product creation.

    Watch as Patrick and Clark torture their new contributers in imaginative ways as part of their hazing rituals, including the notorious “elephant walk.”

    Also on the horizon, look for the millenium edition of “the wimgo project” featuring the TLO staff.

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