OKLAHOMA CITY, Okla. – Nichols Hills anorexic Diane Finley tosses her gaunt arms up two-inches above their previous position each time she hears about Bricktown’s grocery woes.

Revitalized Bricktown has a three-mile wide “No Grocery Zone,” an area of town without a grocery store.

Finley, who has lived in Nichols Hills for 20 years, said she finds the “No Grocery Zone” uplifting.

“It’s a daily struggle to not eat,” Finley said.  “There are dozens and dozens and dozens of grocery stores throughout our city.  At least there’s one section of town where grocery stores are scarce.”

Finley almost moved to Bricktown two years ago, but changed her mind after Bally declined her request to move her membership to the YWCA.

“I exercise four hours a day,” Finley said.   “I had to make a tough call.  No Grocery Zone or fitness.”

Finley chose fitness.  Her mother, Judy Sloan, believes Finley made the right decision.

“Her health is my biggest concern and exercise is important,” Sloan said.  “Her ribs look amazing.”

Finley said she does not regret her decision and urged Bricktown anorexics to stay where they are. 

“Trust me.  It’s much easier to avoid food if there isn’t any in your house,” Finley said.

Finley plans to start an outreach program in Bricktown.  She hopes to educate the community on the benefits of a “No Grocery Zone.”  She will also open a diuretic and diet pill pantry.

“We’ll offer free laxatives, enemas, appetite suppressants,” Finley said.  “We’ll also set up an emergency hotline for anyone thinking about eating at a Bricktown restaurant.”

The outreach center will offer workshops on proper methods of rearranging your food during a meal, and the joys of interrupted menstrual cycles.

Finley’s campaign begins in the fall after she loses “just three more pounds.”

“If I can impact the life of one person,” Finley said, “it will be worth it.”

(For the non-anorexics, check out Mattatarian’s Food Offering of the Week [Brownie Edition] or Banned From and Amish Restaurant, Part One.)

(Many thanks to Amy)