Just like you, I spent Saturday night mourning Oklahoma City’s ninth loss on the season to the evil Bossier City Battle Wings. I also played some good old Risk. Because I’m cool.

This brings the Dawgz from the Yard to the mighty record of 3-9, a humble four games out of playoffs. While it is no longer possible to win the division, the Yard Dawgz can make a run for a playoff spot for the fifth consecutive season. If possible, Oklahoma City would likely play the bird feet or the electrical current on the road in the first round. Here’s to hope, right?

Many of us are still trying to figure out how any type of dog is having problems beating up on teams named the Copperheads from “Texas”, Dusters from Amarillo, and the Fever from Washington State.

This dilemma left me to ask one question: Which Breed is a Yard Dawg?

Since they canned the original Dawg, and the four mascots have met the law of diminishing returns, Oklahoma City needs a definative puppy to light a fire under this Dawgz squad.

The simple answer is a bulldog. But that reminds us of the punky little rich kids from Edmond Memorial that nobody south of Memorial really likes. Plus, they even had one until the great 19-Yard Line Incident of 2005 where a pooch went potty by the away team’s bench. Since then, they’ve taken the bull out of the arena league.

No one ever chooses a bloodhound to be their mascot. Imagine how crazy our Hound could get if our defense smelled blood… or a sack… or a tackle for a loss… or not getting burned deep for a touchdown.

Maybe a maltese - one of those little grandma-owner-white-fuzzball things. You know, something like Brent Skarky would own. Not intimidating? Neither is our offense.

We could always fall back on an American staple dog, like a lab or a golden retriever. Then again, that leaves us with loyalty, something the fanbase lacks.

At least the Yarddawgz’ true identity is not as confusing as the evolution of David Boren’s horsepigs.