I’ll admit it. I’m a Hanson fan. I even went to their free concert at Mayfest a couple of years ago. Am I proud? No, but it feels good to get it off my chest.
I do realize since I admitted I’m a Hanson fan, I’ve set my place as this year’s “Worst Lost Ogle Writer.”
There are local Tulsa “celebrities” more embarrassing than Hanson, but I wouldn’t trade “MMMBop” for “Beer for my Horses” any day.
There are a few I would hand off. Here is a list of five “celebrities” OKC can have for free:
5. Garth Brooks
I don’t necessarily want to give up Garth Brooks. He’s a nice guy and an asset to Tulsa. I’ve met him. I want to lend him to OKC. I figured this would help with the sting of Toby Keith’s empire. I understand Toby lives in Moore. How proud you must be. Hanson anyone?
4. Carol Lambert
Lambert has anchored KTUL evening news for at least 168 years. She’s one of the top anchors in the Tulsa market. Tulsans love her. I don’t have anything against her. She’s very stable, but stability tends to me uncomfortable. I prefer the self-destructive antics of DUI practitioner, Jerry Giordano. I would offer him to OKC, but not until I exhaust all possible Giordano jokes.
3. Rodney Carrington
Technically, he’s no longer a Tulsa resident, but I’m still irritated over his painful ABC comedy “Rodney.” He played a man that lived the small country redneck carnie town of Tulsa. Horrible show. I’ve heard he’s funnier in concert, but I don’t want to risk it. He co-stars in the upcoming “Beer for my Horses” movie with Toby Keith, another great character actor of our time.
2. Tom Harrison
Harrison is the pastor of the 7,000-member Asbury United Methodist. It’s a huge church with a lot of Jesus. Each morning on the radio, he has an uplifting one-minute monologue called, “Perceptions.” He’s the male equivalent to easy-listening DJ, Delilah. These calming monologues enrage me. Not because they’re uplifting, because you can’t escape them. As soon as one begins on your favorite morning radio show, all the other stations follow in succession. Click here for today’s “Perceptions.”
1. Biker Fox
It’s rare that I’m at a loss for words. I’m the smart-mouth friend that always has to top whatever you say, not matter how vulgar. When I researched Biker Fox, I found this video and um … I’m at a loss for words. Just watch.
(Warning: The song you are about to hear will be stuck in your head for the rest of the day, along with the images you are about to see.)
Please, please take him Oklahoma City. I beg you. He’ll fit in. He wears OU.
[For less disturbing material, check out Mattatarian's Food Offering of the Week (Southwestern Chicken Wrap Edition) or Reconstructing Giordano.]
5. We had Garth Brooks in Yukon for quite awhile…you are welcome to keep him.
4. We have Carol Lambert’s clone here at Channel 4. Linda Cavanaugh has been on the TV since FDR.
3. No thank you.
2. We got a guy like that..his radio spots always end with “that’s something to think about”. I forget his name.
1. I have to admit when I go to Tulsa, I keep an eye out for him. We have spotted him a couple of times far away and it is something akin to the feeling you get when you see bigfoot.
Nah, you can keep Garth. I went to high school with the guy. We have asked him to come back and do a concert/concerts over the years. Asked him to come do a benefit for his old school, but no. The bastard is just too big for us now. And then when his mom died, instead of doing what everyone else did…buy a plot in the cemetery for her and his dad…he bought a whole section. This then caused the city to have to buy more land to enlarge the cemetery because Garth took a whole section for his mom and dad. He is pretty disliked by most in Yukon now.
Bob Long St. Luke’s Methodist
The real question who did Perceptions first
Asbury in Tulsa
http://www.asburytulsa.org/perceptions/today.html
or
Chapel Hill UMC here in OKC?
http://www.chapelhillumcokc.org/Sermons-Perception-Audio
As for Biker Fox….I wonder if he actually paid money for the production of that video. He was sitting around…I mean he was riding around and said you know what the interweb needs more of? I’m just glad he didn’t sport OSU in this video and jumped ship to OU!
I knew when I saw the title of this article that Biker Fox would be the undisputed #1. I did see BF (Biker Fox or Big Foot) riding his bike down South Memorial once, before that I thought it was an internet hoax. God I wish it were.
Raller: I know a couple of people that have been to Biker Fox’s house. According to my sources, he has a whole room painted green. He did everything from inside his home. Maybe I can set up a tour for you.
Irritatedtulsan:
Why do you hate Jesus? and Freedom?
Speaking of Jesus…..dear God in heaven please come down and wipe that biker fox video from this earth, so as not to fall into the wrong hands….somewhere in austin texas. That gem could be used on internet message boards for decades maybe centuries.
you’re admitting you’re a hanson fan? making fun of hanson fans is even easier than making fun of tulsans… but i can’t do it. way too easy. no degree of difficulty.
This Biker Fox clown has been an embarrassment to the Oklahoma bicycling community over the past few years. His claim to fame is the little “front flip” he does over his handlebars to the ground. He got the idea from kids who were doing this back in the 80’s on bmx bikes. He has made it into a few magazines but only as the butt of jokes. He doesn’t deserve to have his name mentioned in the same sentence with “celebrity”.
I have to say, I’ve lived in Tulsa for 2 years and I never saw Biker Fox. I’m kinda envious that you guys have….
Now, you’re going to loan OKC Jesus…or Biker Fox…which one? I can’t remember.
Bosley: I don’t hate Jesus. I’m a huge fan of his work. I like freedom. Freedom costs a buck ‘o five.
Hellbound: I’m going to loan Brooks. You can keep Fox.
Why can’t you just permanently loan Biker Fox to a more fit city like San Francisco or Seattle?
That’s a pretty good list. Here are a few other candidates:
1. Henry Primeaux (sp?), Car Salesman, Annoying Local TV Huckster - After a few years’ sabattacal in Guymon on somewhere like that, he seems to be finding his way into every other commercial again, but Sam’s is not “still next door.”
2. Bubba Cunningham, Athletic Director, TU - I don’t really have anything against Bubba per se, expect for his stupid freaking name. I mean, seriously… at what point in your career do you decide to drop the retarded nickname and go with your ACTUAL name? You’re the athletic director at D-1 school, for goodness sake!
There’s a Biker Fox documentary in the works. I shall do my damndest to obtain some advanced footage that’ll make Harry Knowles so jealous he’ll forget he has Princess Leia on a chain.
Rise above the frey. Seems a few of my peers have forgotten their manners. Be the everlasting Joy of Love. True leaders have this everlasting Optimistic Aura others long to see. Be The tree with leafs of glee. Remember kids nay sayers are never players.
Love BikerFox ®
God help us…
The Lost Ogle has finally made it. The best thing to come from Tulsa is commenting our your site!!! Lucky…
This pretty much explains it all: http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Bikerfox