The image above is the front cover of something called “Oklahomas College Crowd.” For those who have never seen or read it, it appears to be Oklahoma’s (note the correct apostrophe use) first ever magazine to be published exclusively for douche bags by douche bags.
Other than a few pictures of hot chicks, the magazine totally blows. It’s almost like some rich ex-frat boy got some of his dad’s money and decided he’d create a magazine to impress his rich ex-frat boy friends. Just check out their “Dating 101″ article. It has no byline, so we’ll just assume it’s written by Jack McBride (who happens to be the magazine’s publisher). Here it is…verbatim:
If I really like a girl and want to impress her with a fun, exciting, and unique date that she will tell all her friends about I will take her Rock Climbing! I know what you’re thinking, expensive, hassle, long way to drive; etc. Rocktown is an indoor rock climbing gym right by downtown OKC! They feature indoor and outdoor top rope and lead climbs up to 90 feet. It will cost you about $20 dollars each for you to rent equipment and all day climb pass. It’s very safe, a lot of fun, and you’re sure to impress her with a date she has never experienced!
I think that sound you just heard was a bunch of fired Oklahoman journalists vomiting on their keyboards at the same time.
Seriously, that piece of writing is so bad it makes me want to sneak into Jack McBride’s office late one night and remove the exclamation point button from his keyboard. While there, I’d also throw away his Maxim magazines and “How to Get Laid” books. I’d replace them with an AP Stylebook and “Journalism for Dummies.” I’d also place Scotch tape over the laser on his mouse and see if he ever figured it out. I wonder if he would.
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