Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

The Philadelphia Church of God watches Channel 25

During May sweeps, Channel 25 ran an investigative report on a The Philadelphia Church of God, a national super church that is located in Edmond.  The Philadelphia Church of God didn’t like the report, and has since placed several large ads in local newspapers defending and (kind of) promoting itself.

There’s a part of me that wants to end this post with that little paragraph.  But doing that would be very un-Lost Ogle of me.  Seriously, if I write any more I’m worried that some religious fanatic will knock on my door early some Saturday morning with a bunch of literature.  Also, there’s so much to review and make fun of here that I really have no clue where to begin or end.  I guess I’ll start with the video.  If you want, you can watch the first part here, and can watch the second part here.

Anyway, about the video:

Overall, I guess it was a decent investigative report.  It did do a great job of freaking me out and making me scared of the church, so I guess it worked.  That being said, I do kind of wish that Channel 25 picked some other reporter besides Nick Winkler did the story.  It kind of creeps me out when a news reporter only looks 12 years old, but gloats around reporting on the big people stuff.  It’s annoying…he reminds me of the 10-year old back in 1990 who wanted to play Pictionary with all the adults on the Friday night after Thanksgiving.  If Channel 25 was smart, they would have sent Lauren Richardson to cover the cult church.  Imagine how it cool it would have been if she made ice cream in the cafeteria or helped lay dry wall at the new music center.  That would have been cool.

And, about the church:

I have no clue why there is a church in Edmond called the Church of Philadelphia.  That makes as much sense as turning down a free dinner at The Mantel.  Edmond and Philadelphia are totally opposite.  Philadelphia is a historical metropolis that bore witness to the birth of our fine country.  Edmond is an affluent suburb that bore witness to a tornado in 1986.  Philadelphia has bad traffic and four professional sports teams.  Edmond has bad traffic and three high schools.  In Philadelphia, they boo Santa Claus.  In Edmond, they boo poor people and Democrats.  Seriously, other than bad traffic they have nothing in common.

Oh yeah, about the church’s overreaction to the report:

I think the Church of Philadelphia failed to consider that only 327 people watch the Channel 25 Nightly News.  And that most of those people only watch because of Jaime Cerreta.  If the Church of Philadelphia would have just shut their mouths about the story and not made a big deal about it, then the segment would have never been watched, and people like me wouldn’t know how freakin’ scary and crazy this church appears to be.

After watching that video, I’m almost scared to go to Edmond now.  Can you believe that there are parents that send their kids there to go to school and even college!?!  I’m also worried about the health and well being of Nick Winkler. I doubt he’s going to suffer any physical harm, but how much do you want to bet that Nick’s been added to the Church of Philadelphia’s mailing list.  In 2007, the church mailed 3,992,348 pieces of junk mail literature. And it’s sent 32,571,652 copies of Trumpet, its magazine, in the past decade.  I bet they are single handedly keeping USPS in business.

About what’s next:

I’m kind of hoping that someone at the church finds out about this and they place big ads in all the newspapers talking about “how we cannot stop their message.”  I actually think that’s warranted.  I’d bet we have just as many readers as Channel 25 has viewers.  Plus, we (just like Channel 25) would love the free publicity.  Hell, they could even advertise on our site.  We don’t care.

email

Comments

  1. If they believe that a violent end is eminent, then why are they spending $15 mil on a hippy-dippy “performing arts center” that isn’t even hardened against mortar attack?

  2. PATRICK,

    YOU CANNOT STOP OUR MESSAGE!!! We will crusade on you and on LostOgle.Com and you will regret ever attacking the Lord’s prophets. We will smite you, take away all of your site traffic, annoyingly hack your website and write all over the front page, and redirect your url to send your readers to http://www.pornpornporn.com. We would really just be helping them surf porn and thus go to hell even faster by accessing your website. This will be the last time you make fun of us.

    Thanks,
    The Fundamental Christians at Philadelphia (in Edmond) Church of GAWD.

    Don’t have a Merry Christmas

Previous Post Peace, Love & Thunderstanding: 15 Ways to improve the Thunder Experience
Next Post Saturday Morning 1990’s Music Video (15)