Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Lost Ogle Mailbag (5)

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Although it takes way too long to write, I think the mailbag is becoming one of my favorite things to post here at The Lost Ogle.  For those who are new, this is what it is:

The Lost Ogle Mailbag is an underutilized feature where we respond to real, kind of real and totally fabricated emails that we receive.  If you have a question or comment that you would like us to address, email us at The Lost Ogle at gmail.com.  The subject line should read “You guys are awesome.”

This week we discuss Dean Blevins, Alex Cameron, Jenni Carlson, Memorial Rd., Drowning Illusionists and more.  Check it out.

How come you all haven’t written anything about Dean Blevins slipping on ice and going to the ICU?  I heard their was a 2 – 7% chance that he was going to die? – Curtis

Yeah, before we make fun of someone who’s in the ICU, we generally like to make sure that the person is going to live.  Since that appears to be the case with Deano, I guess it’s now safe to write about it.  Before we do that, here’s a NewsOK.com report from the Tulsa World (neat, huh).

Dean Blevins, sports director for KWTV, channel 9 in Oklahoma City, is being treated in the intensive care unit at OU Medical Center after slipping on ice and hitting his head Monday outside his home in northwest Edmond. The former University of Oklahoma quarterback said he was preparing to work out and leave for Stillwater to cover the Bedlam game when he went outside just after noon to check street conditions.

“I slid and hit the back of my head on a step,” Blevins said. “I laid outside for 45 minutes in my workout stuff. I was unconscious for an undetermined amount of time until neighbors came over.”

Blevins said doctors put six to seven staples in his head to close the wound.

There has to be more to this than just an innocent slip.  First of all, he was going outside to check on icy roads.  You would think that while doing that you may be extra careful to not slip on the sheets of ice on your steps.  Also, why does Dean Blevins fall down like he’s one of the robbers in Home Alone slipping on marbles? Seriously, how hard does your head have to hit the ground to require “six or seven staples.”  And on that note, how do you not know how many staples are in your head?

I’m starting to think there is a 5% chance that Dean may have been on whatever he was on when he peed while on The Sports Animal.  I’m also thinking that there is a 18% chance that Jim and Al call Dean sometime next week to see how he’s doing.  I think there is a 50% chance that a recording of that phone call will end up on YouTube.  I’m thinking there is a 75% chance that Bob Stoops goes to Florida.

Just wondering if you guys thought that Alex Cameron on News 9 looked a little too much like Blagojevich? Maybe Blagojevich could be a news anchor and appoint Oprah to bring us the weather? - Heather

You know what, let’s take a look at the two:

news9_alex_cameron

rod_blagojevich

Yeah, I kind of see the similarity, but I think they both look more like this guy:

dummy-puppet

And about Oprah doing the weather?  Gary England would never stand for it.

Did you see where Jenni Carlson went after Rod Marinelli, the former coach of the Detroit Lions, for saying “Goodbye, Ladies” to a group of reporters. - Lane

Yeah, I think Jenni and the Association for Women in Sports Media went a little too far with this one.  It’s not like Marinelli was having sex with a blow up doll at midfield.

That being said, I hope the Jenni Carlson complains more and more about stuff like that.  Hopefully, it will make her name even more prevalent in sports culture and she’ll move to a bigger, better market, and subject an entire new city of people with boring columns and trite features.

-

You recently predicted that The Prohibition Room would close before McNellie’s, but after reading about the restaurant closings in Memorial Rd, which restaurant on Memorial Road will be the next to close? – Bob

First of all, I have to “give it up to myself” on this one, because it looks like “Cheeseburger in Paradise” was one of the places to close.   Here is a picture and excerpt from a post last summer

dave-cheeseburger

For a guy with a hot girlfriend/fiancee, Dave Morris is getting pretty good about making popular restaurants seem depressing as hell. First he and Angie made McNellie’s seem like a morgue, and now he and his sidekick are playing before a empty chairs at the once popular Cheeseburger in Paradise.

Seriously, if I was a restaurant owner and saw Dave Morris pull into the parking lot, I’d nail the door shut and hire Terri Watkins to pretend she was doing some sort of investigative report on food contamination. If that didn’t keep him out I’d bring out Craig Humphreys to read USA Today columns over the PA system. That would hopefully work.

Cool, huh? Anyway, I guess to answer the question, you have to figure out which restaurant on Memorial will be the first to host one of Dave’s bands. My first hunch is that it will be either ROK bar or Baker Street. Both places are douchey, and both of them would like to have Dave and his buddy come in and play some cover tunes on an acoustic guitar and Casio keyboard. But I’m going to go out on a limb and say “The Fox and Hound.” If it happens, free cake for everyone.

-

Is there anything worse than having to listen to hosts on The Sports Animal try to talk about NBA basketball? - Peter

Here are four things:

“¢  Cancer
“¢  Performing a basic Google image search and stumbling upon gay porn
“¢  Indian Food
“¢  Listening to writers from the Oklahoman talk about NBA Basketball.

Me and some friends are having a Super Bowl Party. Can you share with us how Cardboard Jim prepares his bratwurst? - Timothy

Cardboard Jim is taking a break from the bratwurst.  He’s worries that his cardboard colon may explode.

That being said, CJ says soak the brats in a big bowl with a bunch of beer “” and one chopped onion “” overnight.  When you’re ready to eat the brats, just boil them in the beer/onion marinade for about 20-25 minutes.  After that, take them out to grill and cook them over low heat for another 5 minutes.  Then they are ready to eat.  Enjoy.

Could you guys investigate into what happened with the girl who nearly drowned at the Thunder game? I was there. It was pretty scary. - Aaron

Okay.   I know the Thunder are finally playing better, but if that was legitimate, it was the coolest thing to happen a Thunder game all year long. Hell, half the time I watch the Thunder play I wish I could chain myself up and jump in the tank of water with the lady and just drown with her.

Also,  imagine how crazy things would have been if the lady actual died!?!   I bet they’d play “Everybody Clap Your Hands” in the arena to wake her up, and if that didn’t work, they’d bring out the drum line to lead a “Don’t Die” chant.  I also bet that during the pregame invocation that we’d have to start praying for and blessing the halftime entertainment.

To read more about it, check out this thread at OKC Thunder Fans.

I just wanted to say that you guys are funny as hell, I really look forward to what you corksters have to say each and every day. later. - Random Dude

Corksters?  Thanks!  I think…

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Comments

  1. Thanks for not calling this piece “lost ogle mailsack”. the possible image selection is frightening.

  2. At least they refer to Kristen as an “illusionist.” Tricks are something a whore does for money, Michael. Or cocaine.

  3. Baker Street won’t ever close, its always packed.

    ROK on the other hand, is down to being open only three nights a week. And apparently there was a shooting and a stabbing there in the last month. That may or may not be true, but I’d like to think both statements are so as not to be called a liar on the internet…………again.

  4. The sports animal guys sound pathetic talking about NBA basketball. Their lack of professionalism shows bright when compared to guys like Matt Pinto or any of the other Thunder broadcast personalities.

    Not only is the pregame and postgame bad, Craig Humphries during breaks and halftime sounds like he’s reading a script, but when does he NOT sound that way! The sad thing is WWLS would never let these guys go because, for the most part, their worlds revolve around OU and so does that station. Unfortunately they’re another reason we will never be perceived as “big league”. They suck.

  5. having to listen to 30 seconds of contrived dialog about mackie mcnears and interurban is more pathetic. ‘mmm it’s making me hungry’ – ‘me too’ – LET’S GO!

  6. You’re right trigger, everything Humphries does without the other guys sounds like he’s reading something. Whether it’s those commercials or live, he sucks.

  7. You mean Glock Bar? At least the one on Memorial is… The one in Bricktown isn’t as bad, but your ass better have an Affliction or Tap Out shirt or you’ll get punched in the throat!

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