(Fridged - a woman who does not want sex, is not sexual, or refuses to give sex. From Urban Dictionary.)
Tulsa Mayor Kathy Taylor has started the “Pot Hole Patrol.” Cheap materials or city managers taking kickbacks don’t cause Tulsa’s potholes. Celibate cold fronts cause them.
According to the City of Tulsa’s Web site, potholes are caused by the fluctuation of female weather refusing to have sex, or “fridged” weather.
Apparently, Mother Nature won’t give it up for the good of Tulsa roads.
Tulsa’s City Hall believes our weather is one of nature’s mating habits.
It kinda makes sense. (Cue stereotypical Marvin Gaye music. Begin sexy low-voice.) Warm fronts meet cold fronts and BOOM, sparks fly across the sky. Swirling winds of passion take hold. The heat rises and the moisture comes down as both fronts rub against each other to release their atmospheric energy.
I understand tornadoes now. I’d love to have one.
The City of Tulsa is right about weather fluctuations. Going from celibacy to sunshine can wreak havoc on any hole.
P.S. For more unnecessary sexual references, check out 50 Wrong Ways to Say I Love You. Also, If They Mated: Toby Keith and Carrie Underwood, Diane Sue Whalen and Lassie.
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I was thinking “fridged” went back to when I would be looking for something in the refrigerator and my dad would say, “Shut that door! I’m not paying to cool the whole town!” I’d always figured he was exaggerating…
Brett, that would explain why Tulsa is such a center for the energy industry. If everyone is leaving their refrigerator doors open, the town is a goldmine.