Originally, we planned on have our NCAA Tournament Live Blog yesterday. But then I was attacked by the rhinovirus and it was pushed to today. Anyway, after the jump the live blog will begin. I’ve never done this before, so I can’t guarantee it will work. I can guarantee, though, that there will be plenty of typos.
10:55: So we get here early at the Buffalo Wild Wings on Expressway to get a good table. Right we when get set up and I get the laptop open and start writing, a couple wearing Tennessee gear grabs a table behind us. They have a six month old baby with them. The baby has a bib that makes strange sounds. First I get a cold a now this? I wouldn’t be surprised if a piano falls on my head when I leave later.
11:02: Clark Matthews has arrived! Right now it is me, CM and Big Daddy Lance. For about 10 years now, Big Daddy Lance and I have taken off the the first two days of the NCAA Tournament, went to a sports bar, and wasted way too much money. We used to go the Varsity, but the Varsity is now gone because of our friends at Chesapeake Energy. Although the service there was usually terrible, the beer and nachos were awesome!
11:06: Clark Matthews brought his checkers board. Awesome!
11:08: Buffalo Wild Wings is starting to fill up. Can somebody bring a pacifier?
11:10: The hotness factor of our waitress is a 6.33337.
11:16: OSU -Tennessee Predictions: Clark Matthews, OSU 95 – Tenn 85; Big Daddy Lance, OSU 87 – Tenn 84; Patrick, Tenn 112 – OSU 48.
11:19: SF-Austin has Keiton Page’s long lost brother on their roster. Speaking of Keiton Page, would anybody surprised if he held a press conference saying he was born and raised in the Shire, or better yet, was hunting for Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.
11:21: Big Daddy Lance is drinking his first beer. This guy doesn’t drink except for this special day called the NCAA Tournament.
11:22: Clark Matthews just said “hmmmn” and “wow.” Clark Matthews is a man of few words. He’s the Pat Summerall of obscure social bloggers.
11:25: The first person to come to Buffalo Wild Wings on Expressway and buy us a round of beers is honorary Ogle for the day.
11:29: The first person to challenge us to a game of horseshoes (a game of horseshoes!) is the second honorary Ogle for the day.
11:30: Clark Matthews will be live Tweeting the OSU game on Twitter. If you are looking for a very analytical analysis of the game you can follow him at twitter.com/clarkmatthews. You can also follow Cardboard Jim at twitter.com/cardboardjim.
11:33: Just got beer number two.
11:37: Ms. Matthews is here. That means that Clark Matthews is going to have to quit flirting with our waitress.
11:40: The baby is now gone. That means now more singing bibs and loud moans. It also means I can drink beer in peace.
11:40 Please put hot chicks at the table where the baby was at. Please put hot chicks at the table where the baby was at. Please put hot chicks at the table where the baby was at.
11:44: A dude and a pregnant chick. FAIL.
11:45: Ed Lynn looks about as stressed out as Sean Sutton did when he was losing to some mid-major team in a November tournament.
11:46: My boneless wings have arrived. I am going to practice the art of live blogging, drinking, eating and watching basketball at the same time.
11:53: So I’ve just discovered that I’ve been talking for 1 hour to myself. For some reason the post never published. Big Daddy Lance thinks this is really fun. Clark Matthews thinks it is sad.
11:55: Jon Jordan with Channel 9 is here. His final 4 is Louisville, Pitt, Memphis, North Carolina. He also said Toby Rowland is very handsome. And the Amy McRee occasionally wears a pink bikini around the office.
11:59: Jon Jordan has a feathery microphone. He’s hitting people on the head with it. John Jordan must be stopped!!!!
12:02: I wish I worked for Channel 9. John Jordan is doing shots at the bar and playing trivia. It must be nice to work for an employer that lets you do all that while on the clock.
12:03: The bar just broke out in applause for the Cowboy’s 7 -0 run. I am sure that inspires them.
12:05: The pregnant lady and dude are wearing Kansas clothing, but they are not really watching the game. Losers.
12:07: Ms. Matthews is talking about her respect and admiration for the Thunder Girls.
12:11: Fun fact: Ms. Matthews auditioned for the Thunder Girls dance team.
12:13: My little brother has arrived. He is not as handsome as I am.
12:15: My brother and big daddy Lance have just started talking Fantasy Football. I proposed a Federal ban on Fantasy Footblaball talk during the NCAA Tournament.
12:17: Our waitress is now a 6.4 out of 10. I reserve the right to change my vote after two more beers.
12:18: The genius of my brother: “Did you see that guy slam Blake Griffin last night? That was pretty crazy.”
12:20: John Jordan is dancing on the bar. He just said “this one is for Dean.”
12:25: Clark Matthews just said he bowls like someone in the Special Olympics.
12:27: We are getting a live look in at Syracuse vs. Stephen F. Austin. We really need to get an Alfalfa Bill Murray University.
12:31: One reason I love Buffalo Wild Wings is because they don’t put up with assholes. Ed Lynn just threatened to kick out Clark Matthews…and Jim Traber! lol
12:35: Ms. Matthews wants a cocktail. You can tell that people don’t drink very often when they refer to alcohol as a cocktail.
12:39: I just found out that Sam Sims is here. The king of Twitter at Buffalo Wild Wings??? Hopefully this isn’t a social rave. I’m keeping my eyes open for Jon Fisher and ElmoOK.
12:41: Sam Sims should use his large PR expense account to buy us a round of drinks or “cocktails.”
12:42: I feel a Tennessee run coming.
12:44: I am now officially a North Dakota State fan.
12:49: Pee-Wee made a three.
12:50: I’m not going to lie to you, I want to rent Keiton Page for a day. I want to take him to the dog park, the mall and the Omiplex. After that, we can go to park and play basketball. Can someone make this happen.
12:54: Big Daddy Lance is drinking a beer and lemonade. This has to be a foul, right?
12:56: One of the best things about the first weekend of the NCAA tournament is that you always get to know who’s appearing on 60 minutes the upcoming Sunday. This week it’s Barack Obama. That’s probably a good guest to have.
12:58: One of the worst things about the NCAA Tournament is that you see a Masters commercial every 5 minutes. The Masters is boring. To make things really bad, I bet the every commercial gives Craig Humpreys a hard on.
1:01: Is the “As the World Turns” is not broadcasting message really necessary? I know they have hot chicks on soap operas, but March Madness is so much better.
1:05: Sam Sims left. He bought as a round of extra ranch for our wings. Epic fail for Sam Sims.
1:07: I have decided to cheer or groan for ever play of the OSU game. This should annoy some people.
1:09: I just compared losing in the NCAA Tournament to dying in car wreck, where as losing a bowl game to dying of cancer. That works, right?
1:11: Our waitress has just been bumped to 6.857.
1:12: Ms. Matthews just noticed that competitive cheerleading is being broadcasts on a TV behind me. Whatever, I don’t deal with that jailbait stuff.
1:15: Take me to another place. Take me to another land. Make me forget all that hurts me. Let me understand your plan.
1:18: Follow this guy on Twitter. http://twitter.com/OKCWingman
1:21: How much do you want to bet that Boone Pickens is calling a ref right now!
1:24: Clark Matthews and Mrs. Matthews are making out at the bar.
1:26: I guess OSU fans don’t like it when you cheer a big 3-pointer by Tennessee.
1:31: Too much going on right now.
1:31: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY !@#$%
1:32: Somebody must have offered Eaton a bunch of Spicy Garlic Buffalo Wings or something.
1:33: We just asked Ed Lynn to send the game to overtime. Get it. Hardee Har.
1:34: The Cowboys win. We can all sleep well. Good luck against Pittsburgh.
1:36: Random comment of the day nominee: “Dave Morris is the worst Twitterer I have ever read, “–Clark Matthews.
1:39: I feel sorry for Utah St. Kind of like how I feel sorry for Jessica Schambach.
1:40: The OSU game is over and the fans are clearing out. Many extra seats. Many opportunities to buy us beer.
1:45: There is a 95% chance the “Tennessee” by Arrested Development will be this week’s Saturday Morning 1990′s Music Video.
1:50: We are blaring some “Natural Selection” from the notebook. Things are boring right now.
1:55: Randy Heitz from The Sports Animal is here. He is researching College Baseball. Exciting.
1:59: Randy just predicting that Sonny Golloway has a HOT daughter. Just kidding, he didn’t say that. But he probably thinks that.
2:01: Our waitress is leaving and just asked is for our tab. Sadness Part I.
2:07: Randy Heitz just said that North Carolina will win the National Championship in College Baseball. Take that to the bank.
2:10: The guy in the Saturn car commercial is wearing a veeeery green shirt.
2:12: I think I’ve four tall beers. Think, is the key word in the sentence.
2:16: Our waitress just told us that she woke up on a bathroom floor on St. Patrick’s Day. I’m sure there is a joke in their somewhere, but I can’t think of one.
2:20: Uhmm…our new waitresses name is Nauzi. Considering the beer intake today, I’m not even going to try to pronounce it. I’ll stick with “Hey” and “You” and “Sweetie Pie.”
2:22: Nauzi doesn’t like to be called “Sweetie Pie.”
2:27: Big Daddy Lance is drunk. He has used the phrase “Big Boobies” twice in the same sentence.
2:33: Nauzi’s favorite Thunder player is Robert Swift. Her second favorite Thunder player Kristic. Kevin Durant should be on suicide watch.
2:35: Little Brother Word of Wisdom Part II: “That will be crazy if Eastern Tennessee St. beats Pitt.”
2:37: Tonight will be our waitress’ 21st Thunder game. Not 22nd or 20th, but 21st.
2:40: Lance is texting his girlfriend blaming me for getting him drunk. What is the definition of this crime?
2:43: I predict a Cornell victory. People from Missouri lack intelligence. Ivy Leaguers like me exude intelligence.
2:50: If you were the bartender at Buffalo Wild Wings and could send a game to overtime at the touch of a button, wouldn’t you use it more for gambling purposes than trying to make some random guy at the bar happy?
2:53: Who doesn’t like a good midget commercial.
3:03: Ed Lynn is mad! Jon Jordan carved his name on the bar with a crude knife.
3:06: Lance wants a Zima!?! Do they still make that. If not, have Jolly Ranchers sales gone down the tube?
3:10: My girlfriend was supposed to meet me out here later today. She hasn’t answered any calls or texts. I’m blaming Jon Jordan.
3:15: Girlfriend just called. She said the KWTV studios are very nice. She was hit on by Gan Matthews. Yucky.
3:23: Girlfriend has arrived. She smells like Gan Mathews. We are never visiting Cleveland County.
3:25: Girlfriend just asked if I brought her bracket. She picked South Carolina to make the Final Four. She’s a good girlfriend…I think.
3:30: The second best things about Buffalo Wild Wings…Marble Slab ice cream is right next door.
3:51: Just had a good talk with Ed Lynn, the owner of BWW on Expressway. Talked about hiring unreliable high school kids, Enid, remodeling, and the third world economy and how the stagnant inflation has lead to a global slide in economic trade.
3:56: Back to Live Blog. If E Tenn St wins, my brother will buy a shot for everyone at the bar.
3:59: We have new people at the table. They all work for T-Mobile. I think it would be amazing if somebody from AT&T came and challenged them to a duel.
4:02: Will a #16 beat a #1. (Yeah I know this is a boring post, but who cares if you’ve made it this far).
4:05: New Average: 6.1388888888888888888888888888888888888888
4:12: Nauzi has figured us out. She’s currently dressed like Rumble the Bison.
4:12: Maybe it’s the alcohol, but I really miss Maggie Carlo right now.
4:15: I have just got word that Wayne Coyne, Kristen Chenoweth and Brent Skarky are coming out here for the late games. They will also be signing autographs. You should come out, too!
4:18: Nauzi’s second cousin is Jeff Hornacek!!! That may be the coolest thing I ever heard.
4:30: Our waitress is for Morehead St. Oddly enough, Clark Matthews is for Blubawls Community College.
4:25: I have been here for five and half hours. Three and half hours to go!
4:37: Open topic: Is there anything to write about right now?
4:39: Our new Ogle rallying cry is attaboy Stowe.
4:41: There are no games on, so Patrick is up dancing to “Listen to your Heart”
4:42: This is Patrick’s girlfriend, BTW. Since it is so boring in here, I am just going to post videos to entertain myself.
4:45: Sorry, can’t embed this, but it reminds me of my misspent youth in Hickville, OK. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ5eZSa7URA
4:46: Nice. That’s all I have to say.
4:50: They are playing Jessica Simpson. While I have this opportunity, I am just going to say that I think the flack she got for her weight gain was bullshit. Who the f*ck cares? She is hot, even is she is a size 14.
4:53: If you go the Thunder game tonight, make sure to vote for Nauzi as the ultimate Thunder fan. She is a 10!
5:09: I think the live blog might be dying a slow death…
5:13: It was real, and it was fun. And it was really fun. But I think the first ever Lost Ogle live blog of the NCAA Tournament is over. TO make yourself feel better, I offer this homoerotic clip of Boomer Tramel doing something totally innappropriate to to John Helsley. Just watch Berry’s eyes. The eyes.
Thanks! Your message has been sent!