Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Where were these parties when I was in high school?


According to the state Health Department, there is syphilis outbreak hitting teenagers in Central Oklahoma.  From NewsOK:

The state Health Department reported an outbreak of syphilis, a sexually-transmitted disease, among teenagers in central Oklahoma.

The health department announcement said the outbreak may be linked to teens attending parties where unprotected group sexual activity is encouraged.

Ten cases of syphilis among teens were reported in the past four weeks to the state health department.

I don’t know about you, but when I was in high school, I always found it difficult to find the parties where any sexual activity took place…much less any sexual activity from the “unprotected, group” variety.  The high school parties I went to usually involved complaining about “no beer or girls” or “attacking Kamchatka from Alaska.”  Maybe that explains some things.

Also, I’m 30 years old and still haven’t even been to a grown up party where unprotected group sexual activity is encouraged.  Am I missing out on something?  I always thought these parties were just myths based up on the legends found in Clark Matthews’ video collection that he keeps hidden in an old box in his closet.

Anyway, maybe we should do an investigative report and start attending the Bricktown Rotary Club,  Ad Club or Young Republicans parties to see if things like this actually take place.  Maybe we’ll bring along Cardboard Jim, too.  Cardboard Jim likes a good party.


  1. I had the exact same thought when Sen. Coburn’s staffer told a group of people that lesbianism was rampant in high schools in SE Oklahoma. I immediately demanded to know from my wife why the hell no one told me about it.

  2. I would never have dropped out if I had known that. Knowing that, I may go back and finish up. Hhow strong would that be? – a high school diploma AND a GED.

  3. All the parties I went to in high school were called, “You’re fun, so let’s just be friends” parties.

  4. Did anyone here go to high school in Edmond in the mid-’90s when they had rival high school “social fraternities.” Sub-Zero at Memorial and The Family at North … yeah, so all that and our parties were in remote houses in fields. I don’t know where I’m going with this.

  5. So I wonder who was the dirty one that showed up to the party and thought “this bump I have on my soldier must be the On Button!”

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