Sand Springs found its first meth lab of the year. 

Amateurs. 

Tulsa has found 70.

Neighbors suspected drug activity and called police.  When police arrived, they smelled strong chemicals coming from one residence.  Normally, the odor that leads to drug busts is patchouli.  In this case, they smelled bug spray and found a meth lab.

They’re obviously mistaken.  When your name is Christopher Waldo Carlock and your MySpace name is Wicked25, you’re no meth cooker.  You’re a lost Harry Potter character.

Police didn’t find meth ingredients.  They found his potion ingredients.  All Waldo Carlock tried to cook was Troll Booger Powder.

Coincidentally, many of Harry Potter’s potions also require pseudoephedrine and can be taken with a needle.

I’m sure Carlock has a simple explanation that the police would’ve heard it they weren’t too busy arresting him.  He was probably sitting in his trailer, minding his own bidness, mixing his potion in his cauldron that resembled a two-liter bottle and trying to work a spell to replace the hair on the sides of his scalp that he lost in an unrelated meth fire where he selflessly rescued a baby whose diaper happened to be filled with cocaine.  He raised his wizard wand, which doubles as a cane, swirled his arm in the air and yelled, “by the power of Waldorf…”

Police barged in and interrupted his spell, which caused Carlock to fail his University of the Phoenix course on witchcraft and wizardry.

Well, at least we finally know where Waldo is.

(Pssst.  Inexpensive grooming tips with garage tools. Check out From Garage Essentials to Beautification.  These are tips that Carlock would use.)