You thought, or hoped, I wouldn’t last.  Here it is.  It’s my one-year anniversary at The Lost Ogle.  I know it seems longer.  I’m like an in-law that refuses to go home.  Now, it comes to this, the final post of my first year.  I’m not quitting.  This isn’t my final post.  This is my final post of the first year.  I guess that headline is somewhat misleading.

Now that it’s been brought to Patrick and Clark’s attention that I’ve been here for a year, the chance that I’ll be fired has increased.  There are several reasons why I shouldn’t be fired:

• Reliable

Without fail, I have published a post each Tuesday, no matter how bad it sucks.

• Kick A** Record Collection

I own the only copy of Ken by Request Only in Oklahoma.  It’s perfect music to help you get laid.  By the way, these 10 Offensive Comments Will Not Get You Laid.

• Cost-Effective

I’m the only Tulsan willing to write for an Oklahoma City blog, well, write for free.

• On Edge

I keep Patrick and Clark on their toes.  A few posts have never been published because of something called “going too far.”  I’m not familiar with the concept, but apparently “blowing fido” is too far.

• Less Strikingly Handsome

While I am the most strikingly handsome man in Tulsa, after Jerry Giordano, I could never match the good looks of Patrick and Clark.  Since I am less handsome, they will not be threatened by my hard rock abs, buff arms and year-round tan.

• Photography

I’m willing to drive to the seediest parts of Tulsa for one photo of an exploded meth lab.

• Cardboard Jim’s Place to Crash

Cardboard Jim likes to party and sometimes he needs a place to stay.  I have a spare bedroom with low humidity to prevent Jim from molding.

• Map

I’m the only person in Northeastern Oklahoma that can find OKC on a map.  It’s in the panhandle.