The guy in the picture above is Hollywood photographer and artist Michael Muller (bio here, video here). Due to one very dependable source and some interesting facts, we have reason to believe that he is the white shark preservation activist “White Mike.” White Mike is the guy who originally posted the pictures of Alba to the Internet and also the guy who **allegedly** helped her vandalize Oklahoma City. Here are three convincing reasons why we think he’s the guy:
Reason One: He was apparently seen with Jessica Alba the night of the crime.
According to an Ogle mole who was staying at a swanky downtown hotel last week, Muller, Alba and Casey Affleck arrived at the hotel lobby around 2:00am on June 2nd. The source claims that it appeared that the trio had been drinking and that they even “flashed a couple miniature liquor bottles.” Shortly after arriving, Alba and Muller left the hotel. The next day, scary great white shark posters appeared in various spots throughout downtown.
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Reason Two: The Casey Affleck Connection
At Muller’s personal website, www.krop.com/muller, he showcases a photograph that he took of Casey Affleck. Granted, just because he photographed Affleck doesn’t necessarily mean that they are buddies, but when you consider that Affleck is one of Hollywood’s most notorious animal rights activists, you’d think he’d probably bond with a guy who really likes meanie white sharks. Hell, it probably wouldn’t be out of the question for them to talk about plastering shark posters across Oklahoma City.
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Reason Three: White Mike and Michael Muller both show art at the same L.A. art gallery.
The Guy Hepner art gallery in Los Angeles just happens to be selling prints of the shark poster that was glued all over Downtown Oklahoma City. Knowing that fact, I’m sure you’ll assume it’s a total coincidence (sarcasm) that Michael Muller has had two exhibitions at that same gallery. In fact, his show “Lumiere” was the first ever exhibition for Guy Hepner.
Also, one of the portfolio items featured at Muller’s website is a white shark photograph. Now…it’s not the same photograph show on the posters in downtown, but it could easily be passed off as that poster’s evil twin. They are that similar.
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So there you have it: White Mike seem to equal Michael Muller. Granted, we can’t say with 100% confidence that they are the same guy, but if they’re not, we’ll listen to KOMA for an entire week to make up for the mistake. We’ll also make out with Jenni Carlson or Berry Tramel. We don’t care which one. They are kind of the same to us.
David Prater needs to call a grand jury, get this stuff sorted out.
Considering the various comments on the previous Jessica Alba posts and the fact that there will be several bizarro filmmakers in Oklahoma City this week, perhaps Jessica could make a cameo appearance in “Jaws OKC,” for deadCENTER.
After a hard day of removing posters around Oklahoma City, Jessica Alba goes to the Wormy Dog and gets shitty drunk. As we know from the first “Jaws,” attractive intoxicated women like the water, so she tosses off her cutoffs and jumps into Lake Hefner. Unfortunately, White Mike passes out at the edge of the beach and misses the naked Jessica being eaten by a genetically-altered great white shark.
Wait, since when has TLO been investigative journalists? Has some sort of cyber-evolutionary event occurred here?
4) The man has a dorsal fin on his head.
I wonder if White Mike is working on a “Grizzly Man” style documentary…
White Mike has the eye of the douche. It looks like he just dropped out of a George Michael music video.
“flashed a couple miniature liquor bottles” someone should tell them: that won’t get you any beads at Mardi Gras…you have to flash other things.
This is starting to sound like a really good movie.
I like these movie ideas, except we should move the shark to the North Canadian (I refuse to call it the “Oklahoma! River”). You put a shark in the river and everyone forgets about the botulism, or whatever it is in there making triathletes sick. People have no problem swimming with sharks. In fact, they pay extra to do it. And if all you get after swimming with a great white is a case of the runs, it’s considered a good day.
Two things:
1. White Mike looks like the the Volkswagen commercial’s German guy. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv157ZIInUk)
2. There is nothing wrong with making out with Jenni Carlson. Don’t judge me.
TLO needs to lets this go. You are starting to sound like you care that Jessica Alba posted a few shark posters. Big deal. White Mike thought that somewhere, somehow he might get in Jessica Alba’s panties. Is that so wrong?
@Bless Your Heart For White Mike and Casey Affleck, “miniature liquor bottles” might just mean something that does qualify for beads…