Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Tulsa Tuesday ““ Another Summer, Another Baby Left in a Car

super-target

Police responded Sunday to Tulsa’s “˜first baby of the summer “accidentally” left in car’ at Super Target on 71st Street. While I expect this sort of accident to happen at Walmart, I’m shocked it happened at Target.  That makes as much sense as Mickey Mantle’s Steakhouse having a dollar menu.

What type of people are they letting through the doors?

Target is where I go when I want to be among the clean and intelligent population.  Walmart is where I shop when I need to raise my self-esteem.  It’s not about the low prices; it’s about a feeling of superiority and understanding the white-trash culture.

The mother of child said she forgot the baby was with her.  “I thought it was my husband’s turn to ignore the children.”  I don’t buy the “I forgot” excuse.  You don’t forget you have a baby, and I doubt the baby put itself in the car.  The excuse didn’t work for me at the mall when I forgot my pants, and it doesn’t work for hurried parents.

Parents never buy the “I forgot” excuse, and according to COPS, neither do police.  I’ve faithfully watched COPS for 20 years.  They don’t buy the excuse.  Why should we?

The truth is parents plan to run in for just a second, but forget that Walmart only has two lanes open; both filled with dozens of other housewives who also needed  milk and a bra.  Target’s lanes are usually short and it is possible to run in for a second.  She didn’t forget, she probably spotted a clearance rack and the hours flew by.

We can’t afford to lose Target babies.  They’re the future of our country.  Walmart babies, not so much.  Dollar General babies?  You can’t lose them.  Their skulls are like rubber balloons that expand as the car heats up.  I know that doesn’t make sense.  It might have something to do with Dollar General brand birth control.

Police didn’t arrest the woman.  I think they forgot.

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(P.S.  “I forgot” to mention I’ve posted some great photos of Tulsa’s Neon Signs.  If you enjoy shiny things, click here.)

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Comments

  1. “Target is where I go when I want to be among the clean and intelligent population. Walmart is where I shop when I need to raise my self-esteem.”

    That could not be more true! There are always hot chicks at Target as well. Wal-Mart…eh, not so much; quite the opposite.

  2. ahh laziness at its finest. I forgot my child = I didn’t want to be bothered by my child. Parents wonder why their children act out against them later in life. Maybe it was because your dumba** left them in the car when it was 102 outside.

    Circle of Life – hopefully Junior forgets where he put your medication

  3. i’m 100% sure that Wal-Mart will be an active participant in Armageddon, but Target is almost too opposite. it is full of hipsters and white moms who drive high end SUVs and minivans. they like to run into each other with their baskets and comment on how fresh the sushi is and how ripe the avocados are.

    walking into a Target isn’t much different than walking into an Apple Store. they ought to put an Apple store next to a Target, and then hipsters could jerk off into their $17 luffas while staring at 30 inch iMacs and talk about how Apple owners are just “more creative.”

    any and all stores should work together and ban people who leave their children (and dogs) in their car. the police should force this parent to sit in a car with the windows “cracked” for 2 hours when its 100 degrees outside.

  4. Just to play Devil’s Advocate: I’ve never left my son in the car when I went in somewhere, but I can see how it might happen. Especially when they are so small and fall asleep as soon as you start driving. There were times when I’d be driving for awhile and he’d be so quiet in the back that I wouldn’t even be thinking about him being back there. Again, I’ve never actually left my son in the car…but I’m superdad.

  5. Clark is clearly the only other actual parent responding to this post. Most people with small children: #1 understand what an endles supply of things to worry about it presents on an hourly basis!(AND yes, sometimes forget!) More importantly, #2 Actual parents are so f$#@ing scared that it could happen to them or one of their kids that they would think it the height of karmic insult to dog another parent for such.

    It happens unfortunately, and sometimes tragically.
    (No–I haven’t ever done it–THANK GOD!!0:))

  6. That’s just the difference between Tulsa and Oklahoma City. In Tulsa, it is merely “Target”, which is an ordinary word that would make anyone…even stupid parents…feel comfortable. Here, in Oklahoma City, the store is known as “Tar-Jay”, giving it a more upscale resonance, thereby letting people know that only discerning, high-class people are allowed to enter its portals. If you want to abandon a child or beat the crap out of your wife in a parking lot, then in Oklahoma City the place to go is WalMart. Everyone is welcome there…just look at their smily-face logo and you, too, will become more comfortable about committing felonies and dismeanors where old people greet you and push a shopping buggy into your gut.

  7. I’ve driven to work, parked, looked over and have seen my son in the passanger seat (this was before only criminals allowed their children to ride in the front seat where you can actually SEE them). It’s a scarey thing…it makes you feel like a horrible parent…but he’s now a self-supporting adult. I think that turkey pop-up thing I had installed in his chest helped.

  8. I’m thinking that if “TarJay” wants to be so upscale they should be the first with covered, climate controlled parking so that once again we can save children from their own parents. Top that China-Mart!

  9. To Rockogre, that makes me think of Penn Square. Don’t know if their covered parking is climate controlled, but if you want to be robbed or raped, then that’s the place to leave your SUV while you do some power shopping. China-Mart would never do covered parking unless it would destroy a smaller business in the community.

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