Today at noon on the first floor of the State Capitol, Sally Kern and her band of right wing lunatic cronies will sign the Oklahoma Citizens Proclamation for Morality. There is no word yet on if her 30-something-year-old, celibate, music teaching, metaphysics practicing, non-gay son will be traveling down from Iowa for the event.
You can check out the complete proclamation here — including some random out-of-context quotes from former presidents and slave owners Thomas Jefferson and James Madison — but the really crazy parts are below.
We the People of Oklahoma, Invoking the guidance of Almighty God, in order to secure and perpetuate the blessing of Liberty; to secure just and rightful Government; to promote our mutual Welfare and Happiness, do establish this proclamation and call upon the people of the great State of Oklahoma, and our fellow Patriots in these United States of America who look to the Lord for guidance, to acknowledge the need for a national awakening of righteousness in our land.”
WHEREAS, the people of Oklahoma have a strong tradition of reliance upon the Creator of the Universe; and
WHEREAS, we believe our economic woes are consequences of our greater national moral crisis; and
WHEREAS, this nation has become a world leader in promoting abortion, pornography, same sex marriage, sex trafficking, divorce, illegitimate births, child abuse, and many other forms of debauchery; and
WHEREAS, alarmed that the Government of the United States of America is forsaking the rich Christian heritage upon which this nation was built; and
WHEREAS, grieved that the Office of the president of these United States has refused to uphold the long held tradition of past presidents in giving recognition to our National Day of Prayer; and
WHEREAS, deeply disturbed that the Office of the president of these United States disregards the biblical admonitions to live clean and pure lives by proclaiming an entire month to an immoral behavior;
NOW THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that we the undersigned elected officials of the people of Oklahoma, religious leaders and citizens of the State of Oklahoma, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world, solemnly declare that the HOPE of the great State of Oklahoma and of these United States, rests upon the Principles of Religion and Morality as put forth in the HOLY BIBLE; and
BE IT RESOLVED that we, the undersigned, believers in the One True God and His only Son, call upon all to join with us in recognizing that “Blessed is the Nation whose God is the Lord,” and humbly implore all who love Truth and Virtue to live above reproach in the sight of God and man with a firm reliance on the leadership and protection of Almighty God; and
BE IT RESOLVED that we, the undersigned, humbly call upon Holy God, our Creator, Sustainer, and Redeemer, to have mercy on this nation, to stay His hand of judgment, and grant a national awakening of righteousness and Christian renewal as we repent of our great sin.
I’ll tell you what, I could wake up tomorrow morning and learn that Sally Kern replaced the Indian on our Capital Dome with a statue of the crucifix and I wouldn’t be surprised. Why? Sally Kern is a crazy right wing nut job attention whore bigot.
In fact, she’s such a crazy rightwing nut job attention whore bigot that I don’t really feel like wasting my time making fun of her or refuting her silly proclamation. Instead, I’ll let you all take care of that in the comments.
And, oh yeah, did we mention she has a 30-something-year-old, celibate, music teaching, metaphysics practicing, “non-gay” son? If not, I figured it would be good to throw it in there one more time.
I retweeted this to my atheist friends. Maybe someone will pity me and help me relocate out of OkHellHoma.
John Adams is still awesome. He defended those British soldiers that shot into the crowd of colonists – that takes balls. Besides, atheism hadn’t really been invented by then.
Next thing you’ll know Kern will ban all Adult entertainment within the borders because it promotes dirty behavior such as “masturbation” and gives people the idea to use any other sexual positions than vanilla missionary.
People like Kern are killing the Republican party. By catering to a small but vocal minority they drive away the quiet majority. I am a registered Republican but depending on how the Republican party goes I might go Independent.
The Oklahoma ACLU is protesting the signing at the capitol tomorrow at noon. So if anyone would like to join in showing Crazy Sally that not all Oklahomans are right wing, hatefilled, bigoted theocrats, then by all means, join us.
And “vanilla missionary”? I think that’s still to much. All sex should be had through a hole in a sheet so that you never see the other person naked. Because that’s icky.
Sally Kern: Attacking homosexuals out of subconsciously repressed guilt from turning her son gay since 2004.
Sally Kern: Angry that her son sucks cock almost as good as she does.
Sally Kern: Saner than Glenn Beck.
“BE IT RESOLVED that we, the undersigned, humbly call upon Holy God, our Creator, Sustainer, and Redeemer, to have mercy on this nation, to stay His hand of judgment, and grant a national awakening of righteousness and Christian renewal as we repent of our great sin”
Soooooo we’re telling God what to do now? Not asking for it, or asking to at least understand the ways thing are? Now we’re sending Him court orders that look like they were created using the “Cease and Desist” template on Kern’s Microsoft Word.
Now I’m going to sin extra hard, out of spite.
why is she spending time on this crap? she is using taxpayer dollars for this? why can’t she just write a blog that no one reads like every other nutjob out there?
and no wonder her son is gay. he has to constantly live with the fact that her moustache will always be bigger than his. just like her dick.
I’d sign it, but I really don’t see what good it would do at this point.
My favorite part about the proclamation is that she quotes Ben Franklin, noted promiscuous party animal, while talking about how we need to lead more moral lives.
See also: Jefferson and the others who were Deists and would in no way be considered Christians today.
Yay for history!
The Stock Market is down 184 points in the hours before Sally prays (on behalf of Oklahoma) that God “have mercy on this nation, to stay His hand of judgment, and grant a national awakening of righteousness and Christian renewal as we repent of our great sin.” I guess her theory that our current “economic woes” are consequences of our “greater national moral crisis” isn’t working so well.
God is speaking to Sally through the stock market, and he is telling her that new unemployment claims with rise and new housing starts will decline unless gays stop having sex.
Please call Sally and ask her to pray harder and condemn gays more because my Apple stock is down 2 points.
So, did Topeka’s Westboro Baptist Church write this procLAMEation or are they just really big fans?
I wouldn’t say that “all sex should be had through a hole in the sheet”, but I have, at times, found it interesting.
But back to the topic: I honestly would not believe that such idiocy was possible. To have it happen again and again in Oklahoma is beyond embarrassing, it’s depressing.
So does everything our forefathers said or did become marginalized now….because they owned slaves? I hate that new argument from the Jon Stewart underlings.
Granted the practice was and is a stain on the country, but our forefathers were about much, much, much more than that.
Bat. Shit. Crazy.
On the other hand, if she can replace Limbaugh and Palin as the face of the Republican party, maybe they’ll spiral farther down the drain into irrelevancy.
@soonervegas – well, yeah. It’s called context. And in this argument Kern is presenting (as lame as it is), the founding fathers’ shortcomings are relevant.
It’s the “there was no golden age” argument; to hold up the founding fathers of this country as bastions of morality is simply ridiculous. It doesn’t change any of their awesome accomplishments, but, yes, the fact that they all slept around and had slaves means that you can’t use them in your bullshit argument about how great things were back then when we were all “Christians.”
Let this be a lesson…Go vote these kind of people out of their positions…Holy crap, this is sickening.
1) I think the possibility her SON may be gay is the least of Sally’s problems.
2) I’m afraid this is all a sham so she can tell her husband: “We can’t have sex anymore since we can no longer procreate. No, really, otherwise there is no excuse for gay men and women not marrying.”
3) If you grew up her for a mother, would you want to ever think of having a relationship with a woman? Seriously?
4) Obviously someone failed to tell Sally you can get season passes to Six Flags and this is what she has found to fill her summer. Think Six Flags, Sally, think Six Flags.
Kyle, I pretty much agree. I was registered Republican years ago until the wackos took over, then I went Independent.
From the McCarville Report: “A group that included business leaders, civic leaders and religious leaders, in addition to lawmakers, signed the proclamation today.” Of course he doesn’t mention who they might be. Can someone list the endorsers so I know who to boycott and/or be wary of?
I think we need to let her explain herself:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6k72xAVM-A
New state motto: Oklahoma … Fat and dumb.
When someone tells you Oklahoma is the 6th fattest state, correct them and say we’re the 45th FITTEST state. Sounds a little better.
As a master of the obvious I must say this bitch goes above and beyond the call of idiocracy. It is appalling to me that something like this could even reach the level that it has reached. Please tell me she’s from Texas.
So… which part of the proclamation provoked this impromptu meeting of the local chapter of the Disgruntled Liberals of Oklahoma? Lots of high-brow discussion going on here.
Breaking news! Sally Kerns controversial background revealed!
http://ihateyourfavorite.tumblr.com/post/134198919/oklahoma-state-rep-sally-kern-has-issued-a
The email I sent to my senator and rep Tuesday night. I left my full name out of this post:
Hello,
My name is MG, and I am one of your constituents. We haven’t interacted much, because I recently moved into the district that you represent. You heard from me once before about stem cell research, and should expect to hear from me often.
I am writing to express my concerns about Sally Kern’s planned “proclamation” this Thursday. I sincerely hope that as a fellow legislator of Mrs. Kern that you have read it, but if not, the full text is available here: http://www.acluok.org/NewsEvents/Rep.Kern.htm. It is a phenomenally divisive and insulting piece of writing. It is downright unbecoming of a legislator to put such psychobabble to paper, much less act presume it is the belief of every Oklahoman.I cannot imagine the audacity required to think she speaks for everyone in this state. It makes everyone in Oklahoma sound crazy. It is pure nonsense, and I cannot imagine why anyone at the legislature, least of all Sally, thought this was a good use of time. It does raise many questions, though.
Where are the proposed solutions to these problems? Why aren’t lax financial regulation policies or extended wars (you know, actual possible causes of a bad economy) being addressed by this legislature? Why, instead, is time being wasted on the possible communism of a local rock band or this absolutely ridiculous “proclamation”? Why is this legislature constantly working to shove the church and state together? That goes beyond a difference in opinion; it makes you bad legislators to the point of breaking the law. It is not the business of the legislature to legislate morality, or even the behavior of individuals where it does not affect others.
Why not focus on lowering the infant mortality rate in this state, or, God forbid, the divorce rate, since we are so concerned with the sanctity of marriage? Perhaps time could be spent finding ways to increase teacher pay so that fewer talented people leave this state. Perhaps time could also be spent looking for plausible solutions to the socials ills that cause many of the problems that Sally seems to think are responsible for the bad economy. I’d like to see my representatives actually legislating rather than proselytizing on my time.
Please properly represent me on Thursday by refusing to participate in the signing of this proclamation.
Thank you,
MG
Yukon, OK
This blog post and most of these comments are exactly what Sally Kern was looking for. She’s smarter than you give her credit for.
No, no I don’t think she is. And even if you’re right, she’s still not that smart.
Well, based on the tenor and tone of the comments and the blog post, it looks like those who disagree with her are the most hateful people on the planet. She’s gotta believe that helps her cause.
Most people think she’s a moron h2okie. The only cause she is helping is making Oklahoma look like a backwards laughingstock. She’s crossed into Fred Phelps territory, and other then bloviating she accomplishes nothing. A friend of mine works at the capital and told me republicans are fed up with her and her stunts and hope she is gone the next election cycle.
h2okie – Please point out the “hate”. I am not seeing it. Wait I see one comment that might be hateful.
You might be looking at opposing views as hate but that is really just something called outrage. Outrage that such divisive statements can be allowed on the grounds of our state capital where the separation of church and state are supposed to be protected. If she was as smart as you think – she would have produced a document that would have included real solutions to problems – not deflecting this discussion towards things that have little to do with the current state of things. Or she would have done this at her church where it belongs. This is just one in a long line of many things that Oklahoma republicans are pushing in the effort to have a state dictated religion.
What she believes leaves a little desired when it comes to common sense.
If she were smarter than I gave her credit for, she wouldnt have attributed quotes to James Madison and Patrick Henry that are apocryphal…
“@ ilooklikemark
Jul 2nd, 2009 at 1:03 pm
I think we need to let her explain herself:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6k72xAVM-A”
That Mark Potts spoof is really funny!!
What an idiot. It’s sad that we elected such a horrible person to office.
Sally Kern, no, just no!
This is embarassing… how did this woman get re – elected? No wonder people think Oklahoma is bass ackwards, she reps us. Just embarassing.