Well, f*** me sideways. That overnationalistic redneck’s restaurant opened Monday. I knew the door opened when the climatic wails of Toby Keith Warriors echoed through Tulsa as they orgasmed at the fresh scent of fryer oil.
When I pass Hard Rock Casino, formerly Cherokee Casino, not only do I have to worry about second-hand lung cancer, now I have to worry about second-hand clogged arteries.
Seriously, you don’t even have to step foot into the casino to smell the smoke; or to feel the hot flashes of Toby’s women. That’s Tulsa’s real ozone problem.
I’ve dreaded this day for months. I hoped the recession would detour plans to open Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar and Grill. Unfortunately, most gamblers don’t have money to begin with, so for them, the recession isn’t an issue. Their money continues to pour into casinos.
And why is Toby Keith’s restaurant a bragging point at Hard Rock Casino? The phrase “hard rock” coupled with “Toby Keith” makes as much sense as “casino floor” and “dry pants.”
Great, Filet O’possum topped with a Catfish Soufflé.
Kill me now.
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P.S. For more reasons to push you toward suicide, enjoy a night with these two ladies in their White-Trash Sex Ring.
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Who did that horrible logo? I bet it came to Toby in a dream. How many graphic cliches can you combine? Surely he could work in the “stars n bars” somewhere.
All that’s missing is the horse head with beer mug.
Toby Keith’s and Hard Rock together in the same place? Now THAT is an impressive synergy of mediocrity.
Cheer up IT! This just gives the riff-raff another place to go instead of hogging all the best tables at Sharky’s or The Brook!
my wife waited on toby keith once when she was a waitress in college. she said he was an awful tipper, and no one liked waiting on him.
i find it funny that a guy who doesn’t know how to tip (or feel at least generous enough with his blessings to tip beyond the standard) would open up a restaurant, much less such an over-priced, overrated restaurant. i’ve been there once, when a consultant from out-of-state wanted to go there and the company was paying for it. it sucked.
to give our consultant the full experience of really feeling like toby keith, i ripped off his sleeves, taught him how to brag about being a cowboy while reminding him that he lives on a massive estate with ranch hands that do all of the grunt work, got him on the sidelines at an OU football game even though he didn’t go to school there, watched him beat up a gay guy, and told him to make passionate love to the American flag while vomiting on a Dixie Chicks album.
something that doesn’t suck … the closest gaming attraction to downtown Tulsa is giving away One Million Dollars on Aug. 16.
Million: Can I have it? I’ll write something nice.
I can’t wait to buy a Hard Rock Catoosa shirt!
i heard an interview with toby keith once. it was about his ex-wife shooting at him. all i could think of was what on earth did you he to that poor woman and how much has he paid her not to talk? i apologize for the reverse sexist remark. (not really.) after he said that Black people think in the back of their mind that the “only reason (Obama) he is in is because he talk, acts, and carries himself as a Caucasian,” I had one more great reason to never step foot in his stupid, underwhelming, mediocre, pile-of-hype-doo restaurant.
now, let me tell you what i really think…
jenx, Toby doesn’t have an ex-wife. You’re probably thinking of Trace Adkins. And it’s not likely he would have made that comment about Obama, since he’s a longtime Democrat himself (contrary to popular belief) who spoke very highly of Obama during the election season.
Maybe we could get Filet O’possum on a stick when the olympics come.
@COLLEEN – thanks for contacting me. you’re right, i probably wouldn’t have checked back. I am positive my brother told me Toby Keith was shot at by his ex wife; however, he may have meant Trace Adkins, said Trace Adkins or I heard Keith. I should have had a ready source before stating that. I will continue to search for a source, but in the meantime, my apologies.
In the meantime, this is the interview with Keith talking to CNN about Obama about Obama and Black Society. Straight from the horse’s mouth.
Thank you, again, for contacting me. jen
I am so happy I spend the majority of my days in Norman and only come back to Tulsa to visit, that place has continued to go downhill.
The last time my wife and I were in Las Vegas we walked through Harrah’s and saw the I Love This Bar and Grill there. It was almost empty and the hostess tried to get us to come in. My wife pulled me away before I could fully explain how I would rather cut off my balls than go to Vegas and end up in Toby’s restaurant. How drunk, high, or stupid would you have to be to go to Vegas and voluntarily choose that place.