Usually, we let the Irritated Tulsan stick with covering the happenings from the city just up the Turner Turnpike, but this is just too good to pass up. From the Tulsa World:
The Tulsa 2020 Committee on Tuesday presented the City Council with the idea of the city making a bid to host the 2020 summer Olympic games.
Seriously.
“A lot of you are probably thinking what I thought the first time I heard this, ‘Tulsa? Olympics? Are you out of your mind?’?” said committee member Michael Jones, an attorney.
“That’s exactly what everyone said about Atlanta when they started proposing the same thing,” he said.
Atlanta was awarded the 1996 summer games.
Much of the committee’s presentation centered on the similarities between Tulsa now and Atlanta in 1989 and 1990, when it was making its bid.
Committee member Neil Mavis, an expense reduction analyst, lived in Atlanta at the time it made its bid and began talking to people he knows about Tulsa’s possible shot.
I’ll tell you what, you know your idea is a dumb idea when the newspaper actually covers it, but then proceeds to put a “Seriously” after the first paragraph just to let the readers know its okay to laugh.
If the people behind this movement are even remotely serious, they should be abandoned in Picher. Tulsa’s lucky to host an Ogle Madness Regional or the Sooner State Games, much less the world’s premier event. Hell, most people around the country think it’s odd that the PGA Tour makes so many stops there. And you can include me in that group.
I love how Michael Jones — the genius behind this idea and a person who may be clinically insane — tries to compare Atlanta to Tulsa. I visited Atlanta earlier this summer for a mini vacation. The only similarity I found between the two cities is that they are both inhabited by people. That’s about it. In fact, Atlanta was far superior to Tulsa in about every way, shape or form. There was more stuff to do in the Atlanta airport than there is to do in Tulsa on a Friday night.
Anyway, although the odds of the Olympics coming to Tulsa are about as high as finding Sally Kern dancing in a gay bar, we wish our friends to the north the best of luck in pursuing their Olympic dreams. We will enjoy laughing at them, too.
It’s not Tuesday.
Things that Tulsa needs to make an Olympic Bid:
1.Major league sports franchises. No American city has received the Summer Olympics without first having at least two major league sports franchises – Saint Louis, L.A., Atlanta.
2.A stadium larger than the football field at Jenks to host soccer.
3.12,000 hotel rooms – and these need to be actual hotel rooms in actual hotels with room service and the ability to serve wine outside of communion. Actually, the ability to serve wine for communion — the Oral Bobby crowd needs to remember that when you invite the world to your city, lots of Catholics (and Muslims) come to visit. And that’s why Tulsa will need . . .
4. A mosque.
5.A major corporation with an international reputation to push the bid (Coca-Cola, a proud sponsor of everything you’re seeing here at the Atlanta Olympics)
6.A major broadcast network quartered in your city – CNN made Atlanta viable. Now, I suppose we could ramp up KSBI, which is the official network of reruns in Oklahoma.
6.A viable mass transit system.
7.The ability to fly international service into Tulsa without having to go through Atlanta. While Texas is a while other country, connecting through DFW on American does not count as direct international service. There was an old saying in the South – when you die, whether you’re going to Heaven or hell, you’ll change planes in Atlanta. You just go to Tulsa to die, because it is the end of the line.
And the ability to count . . . the auto-number function in my head is turned off.
The state of delusion they live in about that podunk little city must be blissful.
Don’t hate because we brought you Shake N’ Baked and now the olympics.
i love my little tulsa, and want the best for it, but when i read this yesterday i couldn’t stop laughing. i want to find this guy and tell him that april fools day is in, well, april.
i also think this falls into the “it’s so far out it deserves a sardonic t-shirt” category (a la the whole creationism at the tulsa zoo deal a few years ago…”it’s a zoo for darwin’s sake”). quick, someone come up with some quip and we’ll split the profits.
Maybe if Oral Roberts crawls BACK in the “Prayer Tower”…..
My question is how much is this going to cost the taxpayers of Tulsa before some sense of sanity prevails? I like Tulsa; lived there for awhile and my wife is from there but this is just silly.
I wouldn’t use Sally Kern in a gay bar as the height of unlikelihood. She may have to go in to fetch her not-homosexual son in case he accidentally wanders in.