Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Tulsa Tuesday ““ Our Very Own Sally Kern”¦

AnnaFalling

Looks like Oklahoma City can no longer claim the capitol of religious nut jobs.  Sure, we have the Roberts clan and the occasional homeless person who finds the Virgin Mary in his mouthwash bottle, but we don’t have a Sally Kern “¦ until now.

Meet Anna Falling.  This man-faced beauty is one of nearly 20 candidates running for mayor of Tulsa.  Her top campaign promise?  A Creationism exhibit at the Tulsa Zoo.  Not roads.  Not crime.  Not education.  Creationism is her top priority, and this top priority is science, not religion as we’ve been fooled to believe.  According to Falling, Creationism is a “Judeo-Christian science that proves God as the creator.”

Finally, a science that proves God’s existence.  As mayor, maybe she’ll also fight for a flat-earth display at Tulsa Air and Space Museum or finally prove that dinosaurs are a hoax.

Falling also said, “We need to first of all recognize the fact that God needs to be honored in this city.”  I’m not sure who her God is, but mine is tall beautiful black woman.  Honor her.

Now before anyone calls me sacrilegious, let me just say that I am a huge fan of Jesus’ work.  That whole turning rocks into bread, or “¦ I don’t know “¦ snakes into kittens “¦ I didn’t pay attention in Sunday school “¦ anyway, it was cool.  But if I want to learn about Jesus, I’ll go to church and spare the taxpayer.  If I want to learn science and watch animals while I’m hammered, I’ll go to the zoo.

All that Falling lacks is a Kernstyle Proclamation for Morality.

No word yet on if she has any musically talented celibate heterosexual children.

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(P.S.  By request, I’ve compiled Tulsa’s Worst Apartments III.  And yes, Clark, Waterford is finally listed.  Click here for that post.)

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Comments

  1. No proclaimation? No youtube video? No CNN interview to confirm she’s as bigoted as aforementioned youtube video?

    Like most things in Tulsa, Ms. Falling is a cheap, inferior imitation.

  2. She looks like a flight attendant… a mannish, bible thumping, hit you in the elbow with the drink cart, bitchy, flight attendant.

  3. Hey Tulsa. Elect her. Okie city will then bump Kern up to Governor and hook up Woody Guthrie’s spinning corpse to the electric grid and make T. Boone a homeless wino. Let’s find out where the edge is, man.
    “When you’re born, you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front-row seat.”
    -George Carlin

  4. What is it with Tulsa and 20 people running for mayor each time? Is it the charter that you can’t hold an election without a quorum of 12 candidates or something?

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