Remember in My Cousin Vinnie, there’s that joint called “Pool ‘n’ Chicken” where that super-hot Oscar winning rabbit Marisa Tomei gets stiffed after hustling some pool? Well, there’s a jewelry store in Pauls Valley that is acting in the same spirit. A sharp-eyed Ogle Mole spied this advertisement in last week’s Norman Transcript and sent it on to us:
Yep, that’s right, if you buy a pair of diamond stud earings at O’Neal’s Jewelers in Pauls Valley, they give you a free bolt-action .3006 rifle! We’d like for them to be called Guns’n’Diamonds, but they’re not there yet. Now, there is some fine print at the bottom. The offer only applies to the pruchase of 1 carat total weight or larger studs, and no other discounts apply. Also, purchasers have to clear all required federal and state background checks to get the gun. The sale ends October 15.
I can’t find anything wrong with this offer. You buy diamonds for her, and you get a gun. And they have to be good diamonds, 1 ct total weight, and not those cheap brown-tinted diamonds with zero clarity like Michael Rapaport bought his fiance in Beautiful Girls. My only concern with this promotion is that someone buys the diamonds, gets the gun, loads the gun, and then robs the store. But it’s a bolt action and probably a lot slower than the Glock in Thel’s handbag.
One last word of caution for everyone who just had an alpha male homoerotic moment about shooting a big gun: if you’re not a hunter, be prepared for a response from your girlfriend lke the one Vinnie got from Ms. Mona Lisa Vito:
Thanks! Your message has been sent!