How to Fail with Email

Recently a young state-sponsored stoner made us all too aware of a bad email decision he made. When you’re the victim of a random traffic stop, while carrying “distribution amounts” of sweet lady reefer in your car, I’m not sure you have a lot of recourse. Naturally, you would take to the e-waves and let the reigning county sheriff have it, right? Well maybe so, but you probably shouldn’t do that from the computer at your desk in a state insurance office. My request to Mr. White for a brief interview (as well as my request for what the kids call a “hookup”) went unanswered. If I were him, I’d be laying pretty low right now too. That’s a classic angry email fail if ever I’ve seen one, and I’ve seen plenty. Having a lot of experience with email mistakes ourselves, we thought we’d share a couple others that were brought to our attention after Operation Stand II. We think you’ll be surprised by some of the mild offenses that prompted such email aggression. But we doubt you’ll be shocked by the typos. Here are a couple of emails that various Ogle Moles have uncovered. Check ‘em out after the jump.

From: Traber, Jim
Sent: Monday, September 28, 2009 6:10 AM
To: Whetsel, John
Subject: Operation Stand II

TRABER HERE!! WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THESE TRAFIC STOPS! AL AND I WERE JUST TRYING TO GET TO THE FAIR FOR A DAMN CORN DOG AND YOU PULL US OVER FOR NO REASON!? LUKILY WE DIDN’T HAVE ANY COTRABAND, BUT THE IDIOT COP THAT DIDN’T RECOGNISE ME WAS A PAIN IN MY GIANT ASS! DO YOU KNOW I WAS IN THE MAJOR LEAGES!? I HAVEN’T BEEN TREATED THIS BAD SINCE THE LAST TIME I TALKED TO JAMES HAIL!

From: Brooke, Ashlynn
Sent: Monday, September 28, 2009 4:40 AM
To: Whetsel, John
Subject: Operation Stand II

hi mr. wetsel. so,like, i was trying to go to the fair the other night, and like, there were all thse cops and stuff. how come? was there a fire? me and my friends were all like, wow look at all those cops!! one of them was hott! we didn’t get a ticket or anyting like that, but that’s prolly just cuz my friends didnt wear shirts that night. we just wanted to party, and yall sort of killed our buzz. someone told me that was the point but i thoght it was just to make the fair more expensive. 9 bones for some bud lite is like crazy you guys. but we had fun and totally met soem hott guys at the funnel cake stand. one of them drives a camero! well i just wanted to say that the lights from your guys cars made my friend jenny have a seizure and that’s not cool. just let people have some fun yall. kisses – ash