This is a pretty weird song and video. But know what’s even weirder? Being at Halloween party where Jenni Carlson dances around as a Playboy Bunny and a guy dressed up as a gay Night Owl hits on you. That is weird.
Archive for October, 2009
On Wednesday, I went to the Thunder’s opening night game at the Ford Center. Overall, I was impressed with all the improvements and upgrades. The remodeled Ford Center was cool, the team played better, and the concession staff was properly trained on how to pour the perfect beer. It was all very pleasant.
Another upgrade is that Brent Skarky’s attractive skinny assistant has been hired to be the co-arena emcee. That’s pretty cool. However, that improvement is overshadowed by a major downgrade: Jonathan Meisner is still the arena emcee. And not only is he still the arena emcee, but he’s totally let himself go.
Seriously, look at Meisner’s picture above and compare to this picture of him from last year. That’s just sad. Seriously, instead of hiring Meisner back, the Thunder should have sent him to rehab…or at least purchased him a razor, comb and YMCA membership. Hopefully some of Meisner’s friends will talk to him, and get him back to his “Yo! Thunder Fans!!!” form. We’ll be rooting for him.
Update: Ooops! It looks like the guy pictured is former “Look at OKC” humor columnist Joel Decker. Apparently, Jonathan Meisner decided not to return as the arena/game co-emcee. Oh well, at least we still have Skarky’s assistant to watch. That will work for us.
At long last, Friday and actual Halloween are here. That’s the supposedly haunted Skirvin Hotel pictured above, of course. Halloween often lets me down. So to avoid heartbreak, I’ll keep my expectations low, as always. You know what is disappointing me though? AMC’s FearFest ‘09. What a load of crap. First of all, it’s been cut back from the entire month to nine days of “scary” movies. That’s weak. I’m a pretty big fan of those movies and I used to look forward to always being able to find one on TV in October. Why isn’t there just a horror channel? Is there? Someone who’s not under the mighty thumb of Cox let me know if such a thing exists. I’d be quite interested if it did. How many times can I not watch Exorcist: The Beginning? They should have called it Exorcist: No Damn Way (thumbs down/fart sound).
So here’s some stuff that looked interesting to me this weekend. You may have already been told of these things, or maybe you can read, or maybe you just don’t care. But here they are. Now go out and enjoy them reposnisbly. But get really, really drunk first.
Bat Boy The Musical – OCU – Oct. 30
Wow. This could be exciting. What a great idea. Apparently the play digs into Bat Boy’s origins and gives us a nice little back story about him. Which is of great relief, since I’ve been tirelessly researching him for close to fifteen years. I wonder how close I am to the truth: Could I possibly be right with my theory that he was born out of the union between woman and bat? And that this same bat terrorized a small English village for years before taking one of the villagers as his wife? And that this very same bat then went on to become Chris Kattan? I’m close; I know it.
(Remember, Clark’s PL&T column is on Daily Thunder right now. Read it. Or don’t. Whatever.)
It’s that weekend. The one where you can dress like a slut or a complete lunatic and nobody will say a word. Some call it genius, some call it stupid. I’m not really sure I’d disagree with either statement.
But Halloween went in four stages for me growing up.
Stage 1: The Trick-or-Treater. I dressed up as either an army man or Indiana Jones and walked around my neighborhood asking for candy. Pretty simple. Pretty straightforward.
Stage 2: The Fall Festival-er. My mother began to grow paranoid of trick-or-treating because of Sprees lined with cocaine, drunk drivers running up on sidewalks and that creepy neighbor that kept inviting me inside to see his basement. So we went to the safe place that was our church’s gym and threw beanbags through a hole and actually thought we were “winning” candy. Oh and there was a hay ride, but everybody just complained on it because who wants to ride outside on a some hay in 40 degree weather with nothing but a mermaid outfit on?
Stage 3: The Scare-er. Probably my favorite stage. A couple of my friends and I would gather at a house and basically, scare unassuming trick-or-treaters. Our main setup was one of us dressing up as a stuffed, fake werewolf and sitting in a chair next to the door. When the poor kid would walk up, we’d come alive and make them pee their costumes. It was great fun. At least for us.
This stage eventually evolved into the final year of us doing it, we rolled up brownies to look like poop and actually placed the Poop Treats in the treaters bag using toilet paper. We found this hilarious for some reason. Then that same year, we took the scaring up a notch and instead of a stuffed werewolf, we used a chainsaw (with no chain…), hid behind a bush and fired that baby up and stepped out with a Jason mask when a little kiddie walked to the door. It was so awesome that a pissed parent actually wrote in to the Yukon Review the next morning complaining about us. We were heroes. To ourselves. Continue reading ‘Scare-or-Treat: The Top Five Scariest Places in Oklahoma’
When the banking industry was on the brink of collapsing, the federal government stepped in and made the tough decision of bailing out the finincial sector in hopes of stabilizing the economy and avoiding another Great Depression. In the process they acquired the goldmine asset that can get the government, itself, out of debt.
The United States government is the owner of Crossroads Mall.
Sure, we see it as a ginormous, practically vacant crime haven. And J.P. Morgan probably saw it as a toxic asset when it offered it up as collateral to the $29 billion loan the Fed gave them to buy Bear Stearns. But, what it really is is a potential goldmine.
While everything else offered up as collateral was just paper they hope will appreciate in value when the economy rebounds, Crossroads Mall was the one tangible, brick and mortar asset the government acquired. Now, they need to figure out how to make $29 billion from it. After the jump, we have some ideas.
If you watched this video in 1980, and were then asked to complete the following sentence, what would your answer have been?
Q: In 2009, Vince Orza will be best known for _____________________.
a. Building a successful chain of casual dining restaurants.
b. Serving as the Dean of the Oklahoma City University Meinders School of Business.
c. Nearly becoming the Republican nominee for Governor in 1990, and the Democrat nominee in 2002.
d. Not being allowed within 500 feet of a school, church or library.
e. Coming in at number 39 on The Lost Ogle’s ranking of the 50 Most Powerful Oklahomans.
In all honesty, my answer would have been “B,” but that’s because I was two years old in 1980. I didn’t even know what letters meant, much less complete sentences. Hell, I still think things are kind of that way. Complete sentences suck.
This past week, the Oklahoma Twitterverse became slightly unraveled when it was revealed that ODOT’s new Twitter account was constructed by Saxum PR for $7,500. From NewsOK.com:
State Transportation Department officials are touting their latest way to get information out about traffic and construction updates.
The department is using Twitter, a social networking site, to get information out about the agency and its work through tweets.
The department has picked up more than 500 followers since launching its pilot Twitter program earlier this month…
Tweets are monitored, and a general tweet will be posted if several postings inquire about certain conditions or delays, Gotcher said…
The department hired Saxum Public Relations of Oklahoma City to help with its Twitter account and analyze its effectiveness. The firm was paid $7,500.
Yep. The Oklahoma Department of Transportation just paid Saxum PR $7,500 to create and “analyze” a Twitter account. There’s no word if ODOT also bought the clear coat rust protection, extended warranty and a credit report monitoring service, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they did.
Seriously, $7,500 to create a Twitter account and get 500 followers?!? That seems kind of steep. Hell, it only took us five minutes to create a fake ODOT twitter account and then analyze that it’s much better than ODOT’s official one. It’s more entertaining, too. Check these tweets out:
• Odds that the Crosstown Bridge crumbles today: 6%
• We shouldn’t have to tell u this, but don’t give money to the homeless guy on 1-44 and Penn.
• North Meridian between Reno and 23rd is an absolute cluster f*ck. Avoid.
Anyway, I know people are quick to blame Saxum for swindling the state — especially those self-anointed Social Media Gurus who are jealous of them— but if someone offered us $7,500 to make a Twitter account, we’d take it. In fact, we’d probably go all out and create an ODOT mascot based upon a “MASH” or “All in the Family” character. We’d do that for only $5,000 more. That’s a value.
On December 8, KISS will play at the BOK Center in Tulsa. Because I am a nice Irritated Tulsan, you can win a pair of tickets to the show courtesy of me and The Lost Ogle. All you have to do is make me laugh…really hard. Here’s how it works:
1) Post a comment describing what you would do for KISS tickets in 7 words or less.
2) I will read them.
3) Whichever one-liner makes me laugh aloud the loudest, wins the tickets.
It’s that easy. The contest runs through November 23. The winner will be announced November 24 on Tulsa Tuesday. I’ll send the winner information on how to pick up their free tickets.
And if you don’t win — or you’re not funny — you can buy tickets to the December 8th show by clicking this link. If you feel nice, buy me some tickets, too.
Good luck. Make me laugh.
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