At long last, Friday and actual Halloween are here. That’s the supposedly haunted Skirvin Hotel pictured above, of course. Halloween often lets me down. So to avoid heartbreak, I’ll keep my expectations low, as always. You know what is disappointing me though? AMC’s FearFest ’09. What a load of crap. First of all, it’s been cut back from the entire month to nine days of “scary” movies. That’s weak. I’m a pretty big fan of those movies and I used to look forward to always being able to find one on TV in October. Why isn’t there just a horror channel? Is there? Someone who’s not under the mighty thumb of Cox let me know if such a thing exists. I’d be quite interested if it did. How many times can I not watch Exorcist: The Beginning? They should have called it Exorcist: No Damn Way (thumbs down/fart sound).
So here’s some stuff that looked interesting to me this weekend. You may have already been told of these things, or maybe you can read, or maybe you just don’t care. But here they are. Now go out and enjoy them reposnisbly. But get really, really drunk first.
Wow. This could be exciting. What a great idea. Apparently the play digs into Bat Boy’s origins and gives us a nice little back story about him. Which is of great relief, since I’ve been tirelessly researching him for close to fifteen years. I wonder how close I am to the truth: Could I possibly be right with my theory that he was born out of the union between woman and bat? And that this same bat terrorized a small English village for years before taking one of the villagers as his wife? And that this very same bat then went on to become Chris Kattan? I’m close; I know it.
Of all the dumb crap that Halloween throws at us, something like this might actually be the scariest. See, back in the day they used to do these shows on things called “radios” that picked up sound broadcast from an antennae. These shows were extremely popular in America at the time because people hadn’t yet invented sitcoms or ADHD, and they were required to use their “imaginations”. I know, it sounds crazy to me too. Apparently some of these shows were so convincing that the primitive American listeners panicked and thought we were being invaded by aliens. When in fact, we were the aliens. Dun dun duhhhhhnn. That’s exactly how it ends. Go to this thing in Norman. Even though they’re not doing the one I was just talking about. Freaking Norman, man. I was just down there and damn, do they have a lot of crap now!
As obligatory as this is, here it comes. Also, hell yeah I’m keeping your ass in Norman. I want all that sweet OKC candy for myself. Anyways, this thing sounds like..uh..fun? There’s not much explaining to do with this one. If you’re into it you are, if not I like you better. I’m not big on the whole Rocky Horror experience, but this one at least gives you a chance to actually act out your part with an audience. Who doesn’t love that? I’ll tell you who: The Dutch.
Another thing that’s not made up! I’m tempted to hit this one up, actually. James Whale was one of the kings of early horror directors, having an amazing 4-year run that included Frankenstein, The Invisible Man,The Old Dark House, and Bride of Frankenstein. They say that working with Boris Karloff and Claude Rains probably helped, whoever the hell they are, but still. There aren’t many current directors that live up to some of the early guys’ output. But in their defense, back in the old days films were shot in a couple of hours and actors were mostly kept in cages, always ready for the next shoot or re-shoot or sex party. Now it takes years to make a movie with no actors in it. It’s ridiculous! You hear me, Hollywood? Yeah, you’d better run, sweetcheeks.
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