Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Top 15 Names for the Tulsa WNBA Team…

wnba-girlfight

A few weeks back, it was announced that the WBNA’s Detroit Shock was relocating to Tulsa.  Here’s what the Irritated Tulsan wrote here when the news was announced:

It’s Official. Former TU men’s basketball coach Nolan Richardson has been named the coach and general manager of the Detroit Shock.  Tulsa is now home to their very own WNBA team. Tens of people in Detroit are distraught over the news.

Take that OKC Thunder!

While I’m not a sports fanatic, I was excited when my friend Juan told me WNBA stood for Women’s Naughty Basketball Association.  Turned out to be mistranslation.

Attendance for the WNBA is about 8,000 per game.  The BOK Center seats nearly 20,000.  Will this be a boon for Tulsa?  Probably not.  However, what the hell do I know?  I don’t watch sports.  I take pictures of QuikTrip food and make lists about Tulsa’s Sleaziest Shopping Centers.  This is Clark’s area.  All I know is if the OKC Thunder played Tulsa Shock, I’d attend that game.

I’m still not sure how The Irritated Tulsan feels about the WNBA, but I can tell you this: The WNBA SUCKS.  It’s nothing but  a terrible display of basketball filled with missed lay-ups, turnovers and knee braces.  Seriously, I’d rather watch Jenni Carlson eat a Popsicle at Club Rodeo than watch a WNBA game.  It really is that bad!

All that being said, we have decided to help the owners of Tulsa’s new team come up with a new nickname that’s better than Shock.  We’ve listed the Top 15.  If they are smart the owners would use one, but then again, they just bought a WNBA team and moved it to Tulsa!  Nothing’s smart about that.

Anyway, the first couple are available below. The rest are after the jump.

indigogirls

15. Indigo Girls

Yeah, the Indigo Girls really have nothing to do with the NBA, but who cares!  When I think of blatantly lesbian sports leagues, I think of the WBNA.  When I think of blatantly lesbian folk rock bands, I think of the Indigo Girls.

mayor cornett thunder

14. Oklahoma Citians

Recently, it seems like Tulsa has been on a mission to try to one up Oklahoma City.  We get Bricktown and the Ford Center and they build the BOK and do fancy stuff to a river.  We get Sally Kern, they trot out Randy Brogdon.  We get the NBA, and all of a sudden they are in the “big leagues” and score a WBNA team.  Since Tulsa wants to be like Oklahoma City so badly, calling the team the Oklahoma Citians makes sense.

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13. Shockers

Uhm”¦this name is very similar to the team name used in Detroit, but it’s much more entertaining.  In addition, fans would have a cool hand symbol to flash every time the Shockers make a three pointer.

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12.  Lady Trabers

The only things Jim Traber hates more than the WBNA are obscure social blogs and James Hail.  For that reason alone, the state’s first relevant womens professional sports team should be named after Oklahoma’s most misogynistic, egotistical blowhard.

Gay Firestorm

11. Kerns

According to Sally Kern, the homosexual agenda is a bigger threat to America than terrorism.  That means that Sally Kern now wakes up each morning thinking that Kabul is only 100 miles away from her Oklahoma City home.  That’s pretty cool.

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10. The Fighting Lost Ogles

We’d love the publicity.  And adding the word “fighting” to the name is a nice touch.

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9. Red Trojan Skins

In Tulsa, the only thing they love more than Jenks and Tulsa Union athletics is”¦well”¦nothing.  And although a city’s infatuation with the athletic talents of 17 year old boys is creepy, incorporating the Jenks and Union mascots into the WBNA team name would probably boost attendance.

jerrygiordano

8. Giordanos

This would never happen, but it would be funny.  What would be even funnier is the team’s mascot.  Seriously, imagine a big foam version of Jerry Giordano running around the court launching blue tank tops into the stands.  That being said, hopefully the mascot wouldn’t be too accurate, and Jerry would have a clean pair of shorts!

fail151lu0

7. Fail

As we mentioned earlier, the WBNA sucks.  In fact, it sucks so bad that Fail would be an incredibly accurate team name.

redskins-69

6. 69ers

Uhm”¦Tulsa already has the NBADL 66ers.  It only makes sense to have the 69ers, too.  Right?

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5. Pink Robots

We tried to get the Thunder to use this for both its team name and dance team name, but they didn’t bite.  The name was inspired by the hit Flaming Lips song and album “Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots.”  If you think about it, I guess “Pink Robots” fits the WBNA much more than NBA, but since the Lips are from the OKC area, a Tulsa team would never consider it.

free beer

4. FREE BEER

There may not be a better marketing strategy than FREE BEER.  Since FREE BEER will bring fans to the games, it should be considered.

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3. Breasts

There may not be a better marketing strategy than breasts.  Since breasts will bring fans to the games, it should be considered.

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2. Honeybees

The Thunder Girls are cool and everything, but they aren’t even in the same league as the old New Orleans/Oklahoma City Honeybees.  Hell, just compare their names.  Honeybee’s make me think of green fields, sunshine and lollipops.  Thunder Girls makes me thing of Coors Light and Graham’s.  In fact, Honeybees is such a great name that if the Tulsa team made it their own, I would buy season tickets.  Granted, I wouldn’t go to any of the games, but season tickets would be purchased.


1. MMMbops!

This just makes too much sense.  When I think of  MMMbop, I think of Hanson.  When I think of Hanson, I think of Tulsa.  When I think of Tulsa, I think of boys who looked like girls.  When I think of boys who looked like girls, I think of MMMbop.  Yeah, it’s kind of a revolving thought, but if the Shock was renamed the MMMBops, they would enter that equation.  It may not be a good one to enter, but who really cares.

Anyway, that’s all we have.  There have to be some team name ideas that we forgot.  If so, let us know!

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Comments

  1. Great post! I think there should be a contest to submit names and the winner gets tickets to the opening game.

    The real debate isnt the name, but if that person would actually go to the game.

  2. In honor of Jenks and Booker T., I was thinking that the “Tulsa Fighting Probations” might be a better name . . .

  3. Sally’s on the horn to security “Whiskey Foxtrot Tango…Jerico, This is Kerndog! There are homersexuals in the galley, advancing on my position! I need evac now!

  4. Tarts: Shocktarts? Anyone?

    Karens

    Suck : Tornados suck people from their trailers right?

    Shirts/Skins: Revolving team name. Whichever team playing that night has the hotter chicks will be the Skins.

  5. Few more from the peanut gallery at lunch:

    The Tulsa Orals
    The Tulsa Wall Clouds
    The Tulsa Turnpikers
    The Tulsa Oil Bustiers
    The Tulsa Tulsanity
    The Tulsa Trade-for-the-Paris-Twins-To-Drive-Attendance

    And the winner of our lunch table poll today:

    The Golden Tulsaslut

  6. The single didn’t chart here and topped at #18 in the UK, and the album took four years to go gold after peaking at #50. Patrick has a much more charitable definition of “hit” than I do. ;-)

  7. This is a really great idea… the 1st time when I had it in the comments of the original post! No credit needed. Anyway, here were my suggestions then, (one of which magically made it’s way on to the list):
    Tulsa Shockers
    Tulsa A Slut (Tulsa spelled backwards)
    Tulsa (QT) Taquitos
    Tulsa Race Riot Rememberers

    Here are a few new ideas:
    Tulsa Swamp Ass (everyone gets it in the summer)
    Tulsa Memorial Cruisers
    Tulsa Fightin’ Art Deco

    Or maybe just some old names revived:
    Tulsa Zone
    Tulsa Fast Breakers

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