“I’m not a dirty, old man. All of this was done for research,”
— Larry Jones founder and ex-president of Feed the Children
This quote was part of an interview Larry Jones gave to the Oklahoman in response to a recent civil suite filed against him. Specifically, the quote was in response to the claim that he hid the following grown-up magazines in a secret spot in his office:
Family Affairs
Taboo’s Family Heat
Best of Family Touch
Penthouse Secret Fantasies
The Penthouse Sex Files
Penthouse Forum
Best of Forum Letters
Penthouse Letters
Penthouse
Penthouse Variations, and
Playboy
I don’t know about you, but I think it’s funny that Larry Jones reads a bunch of the same magazines that Clark Matthews keeps in an old shoebox in the back of his closet. I wonder if Larry Jones also collects movies of Asian cheerleaders. If so, he and Clark Matthews should probably be friends.
Anyway, this is our final post for 2009. Now I’m off to do some research…for 2010.
Remember back in 1995, after the Murrah Building bombing, how the national media was lauding Oklahomans for coming together during adversity. There were a parade of stories about stores vacated by all staff that reported no missing items after their return. None of those businesses must have sold beer.
Apparently, all it takes for Oklahomans to emulate looters in South Central L.A. is fourteen inches of snow and an abandoned beer truck.
The guy above is Sterling Chase Cochran who was arrested when police saw him taking two cases of of liter bottles of beer from an Anheuser-Busch truck that had been left on the road when conditions made it impossible for the driver to continue his route. But, while Cochran got his name in the paper and will be dealing with the legal ramifications, it appears many others before him got off scot free. According to the police report, every compartment of the truck was open, but only one still contained any product…and if Mr. Cochran only had two cases, you know that there were others before him.
So if you find an unattended beer truck tonight as you ring in the new year, don’t loot unless you’re certain no law officials are watching.
For the Lost Ogle, 2009 was a good year. Overall, we’ve had over 800,000 visits and over 1.8-million page views. We’ve also published 576 blog posts. Some of these posts were good, some of them were bad, and most of them had typos.
Anyway, we thought it would be fun to look back at the 20 most viewed Lost Ogle posts from the 2009. The first two are below, the rest are after the jump.
This post was about Olahoma City Firefighter Sherry Smith who was busted for being part of a local steroids ring. After seeing the pictures of Sherry, it was hard to believe she was guilty.
For those of you who accuse us of never making fun of Democrats, this is for you.
State Senator John Sparks, a democrat from Norman, recently proposed what he calls a “Second Amendment Weekend.” What he wants is to create a three day weekend where gun purchases would go untaxed. It’s kind of like the “back-to-school” tax holiday except for Branch Davidians.
Now, I know what those of you who liked the first sentence are thinking: The heading says “taking on liberals” and Senator Sparks is in favor of the second amendment and tax cuts. The reason I’m calling him a liberal is that he is being very liberal in his defense of this legislation.
I don’t think there is ever a bad time to defend our Second Amendment rights, and I think we should do so every chance we get.
Whether one is for or against this idea, claiming it is a defense of the Second Amendment is a huge stretch. Giving a three day moratorium on sales tax for weapons does nothing to protect the Second Amendment. Protecting the Second Amendment would be re-writing it to make it sound like it was written by someone literate and removing the language about “well regulated militia.” All Sparks is doing is suggesting a way to further decrease tax revenues during a massive budget shortfall…especially since the people getting the added sales revenue (gun show vendors) are probably selling off the excess guns they acquired in their ramp up for when the IRS comes calling.
Editor’s Note: A few weeks back, we asked the Ogle Mole network if they would like to contribute any “end of the decade” lists. Because the Ogle Mole Network is lazy, we only got one response…but it’s a good one. In fact, it’s so good it may be the only one we post. It was written by Bob, who was the genius behind Yardbird: The Unauthorized Autobiography of Jim Traber.
What a decade! With so many choices to pick from, it’s hard to list only 10 of the biggest Oklahoma law enforcement sex scandals. Like an ESPN all time greatest list of running backs, we have a wealth of sleazy pervs to choose from. Emotion and notoriety have to be thrown out like a pair of soiled tan pants.
Remember, the suspects in the following stories are innocent until proven guilty. That being said, these alleged crimes are despicable and the law states no inmate can ever willingly consent to sex with a law enforcement official. Cheers go to bubbaworld.com for archiving many of these stories and for The Lost Ogle for publishing this. Jeers to the Oklahoman for making me try to subscribe to their shitrag to access these case files.
The scandals are ranked by four items of criteria: Crime,Nickname, Catchphrase, Sentence.
The first one is below, the rest are after the jump.
Although 2009 didn’t have any local newsmen soiling themselves or women making sex tapes with dogs, the year did have its share of awkward moments. From Kathy Taylor’s multiple personalities to Alien bank robbers, there were many stories worth making fun of.
For a recap of the humorous, ridiculous and delusional Tulsa topics, I’ve compiled the most awkward moments from 2009.
10. Trudy Ireland, Steroids Fan
Ireland taught Tulsa that hard work, dedication and illegal substances could give you the she-male look you’ve always craved. Also, having a crotch that can crack walnuts does come in handy.
If you’re a 45-year-old cougar who can’t let go of your youth, a Rocklahoma fan, or you just really really like meth, today’s news may be the best thing you’ve ever heard in your life…or at least this week. From RadioInsight.com:
As Active Rock “94.7 The Buzz” KHBZ Oklahoma City continues to struggle against Citadel’s heritage Rock 100.5 KATT and Renda’s Classic Rock “107.7 KRXO“, Clear Channel appears ready to attack the pair from a different angle. 947TheBrew.com, registered this week and pointing to KHBZ’s current site (except for the homepage redirect to Yahoo) hints that the station will shift to the 80s based Classic Rock brand that the company has launched in quite a few other markets (Milwaukee, Portland, and Omaha among others).
Hmmn…does anyone else find it suspicious that right after we learn that the State Fair Speedway is closing, it’s announced that minor league hockey is returning and we’re getting a radio station that only plays “80’s Classic Rock?” What’s next? The Oklahoma State Fair becoming a year long event?
In my opinion, the main reason the Sports Animal is so successful is that it has a FM signal. If Clear Channel hired away some of the good talent from The Sports Animal (Mark Rodgers, Carey Murdock, and the 1990’s Mike Steely) along with the talent from KREF (Toby Rowland and Myron Patton) it may have a chance to succeed. However, doing something like that would be smart. Considering management thought it was a good idea to move the Buzz to an 80’s rock format, I doubt it will ever happen.
With the mountains of snow and the exchanging of gifts, many of you probably missed that the health care reform that was (according to Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell) “sprung” on the Senate after years of debate on the issue finally passed. To get it open to a vote, the Democrats had to override a filibuster effort by the minority Republicans which takes sixty votes (as opposed to a simple majority).
Last week, when it became clear that this was going to–barely–happen, Oklahoma’s junior senator called in a prayer request to the nation:
What the American people ought to pray is that somebody can’t make the vote tonight. That’s what they ought to pray.
Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I will assume that Senator Tom Coburn was wishing car trouble, or a happy family emergency (such as the birth of a child) that would keep a voter in favor of ending the filibuster from appearing. In the Christmas season, one would be crazy to accuse the politician/Baptist deacon of wishing ill upon anyone, right?
As it turns out, he probably should have been a little more specific. Not only did he fail to instruct people not to ask Jesus for smiting, he also forgot to ask the prayer chain to specify which political party should miss.
We are a group of young, amazing and strikingly attractive Oklahoma City residents that offer our “2-cents”, “rants” and “morning news styled opinions” on a variety of topics concerning Oklahoma City and the rest of the world. It’s a daunting task. In fact, it’s a task so daunting that only an Ogle brother could do it. That’s why we’re TheLostOgle.com.
p.s.- Don't believe us? Check out the feature article about us in the Oklahoma Gazette.
Comments? Questions? Tips? Late-night rendezvous? E-mail us: thelostogle at gmail dot com
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