An open letter to the readers of The Lost Ogle, from Chad:
Dear loyal readers. Thank you. This post actually marks my one-year anniversary as a writer/editor for The Lost Ogle, and it’s been more fun than a midget at a…well, anywhere but a circus, really. Patrick’s unhealthy obsession with the unvertical people of the world manufactured that sentence, so you’re welcome Big Daddy P. Don’t forget to call him that. Like, all the time. In all honesty, I’m genuinely proud to be a part of this little thing, because I think it’s something that OKC needed. The world needs people like Patrick, Clark Matthews and myself. If it weren’t for us you would have to work that entire first hour at the office, and that’s just un-American. So with as much heartfelt sincerity that I can muster late on a long Thursday full of early boozing, I just want to say “thanks guys”. Though I write the fluff piece on the site, I think I’d go mad without an outlet for making fun of really dumb shit.

That being said, this may be a short post. I’m tired, “tipsy”, and just dropped those Cox bastards for the AT&T U-Verse thing, so I’m pretty busy trying to memorize 450+ all new channels. Man, life is hard! But because I like you folks I’ll let you in on some behind-the-scenes TLO operations: I considered killing FNITBT after a year, if it made it that long, just to shake things up. I don’t know that I’ll do that now, but things may change sometime after the new year. In our brief conversation about it, I was all like, “But does anybody read it, or care?” and Patrick was all like, “Get me another Newcastle while you’re up.” So I’m not sure what to do. That whore of a mistress, Wimgo, has made things exceedingly difficult, and that’s a bummer. Didn’t they know that I was their only patron? I think they did. The good news is, there’s NOTHING I need to mention this week except….

The Lost Ogle’s Inagural Snuggie Pub Crawl - Dec. 5 – NW OKC

Ahhhhhh, shit! If you guys read this thing regularly, like the blog stats pretend to say you do, you know that I’m pretty generous with the event plugging. Since it’s the holidays, there’s probably plenty of stuff going on this weekend. But I don’t give a flying puppy carcass about those things. This week you can all just eat my doo-doo skins, because we’ve got our own happening, baby! Um, ok…so. Facebook is telling me that 290 of you cozy maniacs are “confirmed” to come get fun with us. Holy sweaty Snuggies, y’all! If this thing really pops off like we’re hoping, our appreciation will be boundless. It’s sort of an odd thing for a blog to undertake, but we all know that TLO is much more than that. We’ve become the voice of your conscience, and it’s usually drunk on English ale. Speaking of, your conscience was a total ass last night. I distinctly remember it telling me  “I’m gonna fu*k you up so bad it’ll make you nightmares bleed!” That’s some serious smack talk, so I had  to call it out. As we got to the parking lot of the 51st Street Speakeasy, your conscience totally pussied out. All of the sudden he was like, “Man, be cool. I don’t want no trouble.” Yeah? Well you asked for trouble with your previous remark, then you just assured yourself of some prison-grade trouble with your lack of grammar skills. What a dick. Seriously though, we’re pumped about the pub crawl. Word is, we pasty-faced, basement-dwelling bloggers will even be in charge of the pub crawl soundtrack once we all hit the Speakeasy, which is good news for you. That’s my favorite place in town in part because of their good musical taste, but to be honest I’m'a turn that bitch out like a Jersey shore 20yr old.

So come out and get your Snuggie boogie on and help commemorate my 1-year anniversary on the site. A few of you lovely ladies should totally dance with me when “Brass Monkey” comes on. I’ll even be wearing my celebration britches. What the hell? Rick James jokes, three years after the fact? That’s just good writing right there. So thanks in advance for your continued support. If I decide to keep this thing going past its pre-determined (but unannounced) one-year expiration date, you folks will be the reason why. Sorry for the shortness but, much like your mother, you’ll just have to accept it. Thanks for a fun year. I’ll see you all on Saturday, right? I’ll be the bearded guy with glasses and a Snuggie. And a Newcastle. If I don’t stop typing now, I’m sure to pass out at the computer, never even posting this thing. On the other hand, I could just…try to….zzzzzz.