A Tulsa elementary school has taught its students the importance of using guilt to get what you want.

Students at Elliot Elementary are selling “Save a Job, Buy Local” t-shirts to promote spending within Tulsa city limits.  The lesson here is if money is spent outside the city, sales tax revenues drop and that increases your chances of becoming a crack addict.

I wish I were a teacher.  I’d drive this message hard:

If you don’t sell enough of these t-shirts, your parents will lose their jobs and you will become homeless.  Then, your mommy will leave and probably spend the rest of her life tied to a radiator.  It won’t be pretty, but she’ll be tied to a radiator.  And there will be a goat involved!  Yeah!  A goat.  It will be all your fault.  Go out there and sell these shirts!  If you don’t sell enough shirts, God will kill a puppy!

This tactic worked with me when my school pimped us out to sell World’s Finest Chocolate to buy new instruments … books … I’m not sure why we raised the money.  Probably for a wet bar in the teacher’s lounge.

Guilt, nature’s motivator

I’ll make a great father.

I’m going to start selling my own line of shirts, “Save 100 Jobs, Fire an Administrator.”

.

(P.S.  For all those job hunters: Recession Series Rewind – Parts 1 through 4.)