Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Introducing the Mexi-Ninja…

And you thought ninjas were just stealth martial arts mercenaries hired for acts of espionage, sabotage and the occasional assassination.  Now they are also apparently bouncers at Mexican cantinas.  From NewsOK:

Police arrested a worker at an Oklahoma City bar this month after a fight that severed most of a man’s nose, according to a police report released today.

A man’s nose was cut off by a sword during a bar brawl.

The man’s injuries are not life-threatening, police said.

Adam Abraham Zapata, 32, of Oklahoma City, is accused of using a 34-inch sword to slash a patron of the bar, El Ausente, on April 3, the report states.

Zapata was booked into jail on complaints of assault with a deadly weapon and destroying private property and has since bailed out, jail records show.

The victim and some friends were playing pool at the bar at 7317 NW 10 about 7:20 p.m. April 3 when Zapata and the group got in a confrontation, according to the report. Zapata told the men to leave and followed them into the parking lot.

Zapata stood behind the group’s car and hit it with the sword as they tried to leave, the report states. One of the bar patrons got out of the car in an attempt to stop him, and Zapata cut him on his shoulder, nose and finger by slashing him with the sword, police said.

Zapata told police he was the owner of the bar, but other bar employees said he had only been working there for several months, according to the report.

Officers could not find the part the nose that was cut off, the report states.

That’s an okay and factual story, but lost in it is the fact that we’ve discovered a new breed of ninja in the Oklahoma City metro area.  Seriously, the headline should have read “Merciful Mexican Ninja Discover in Northwest Oklahoma City.”  That would have got our city some much needed publicity.

So far, the Mexi-Ninja seems pretty cool and pretty brave.  Think about  this for a second, it attacked a moving car with a sword.   Yes, a sword.   Hell, a light saber wouldn’t do much good against a moving car, much less a sword that was probably made from old lawn mower parts.  That being said, the Mexi-Ninja’s bravery is kind of overshadowed by his stupidity.  A regular ninja would probably have just hid in the trees and thrown a few Chinese stars at the moving vehicle.  Then it would have just slipped into the night like a frat boy leaving a moped.  And that would have been the end of that.

Anyway, it will be interesting to see what happens with this story.  Will more Mexi-Ninjas e discovered?  Will they soon rival the Riversides?  Will they have a parade? Stay tuned to The Lost Ogle for all Oklahoma City ninja related news.  We’ll keep you advised.

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Comments

  1. This article alludes back to the days of John belushi, sp? And the classic samuri deli skit from SNL in the early years.

  2. I take offence to your Mexi-Ninja moniker. I would prefer Ninjacan, or a more PC version like Ninjacan American. I don’t know haw many other Ninjacan Americans there are out there, but I am sure they are proud of their brother Ninjacan warrior.

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