This is a new feature on the site called In Your Impact Team Corner. Basically, it’s our version of an investigative report, only without journalistic integrity or boundaries.   That’s why named it after our favorite segments on News9 and NewsChannel 4.

Since we are not going to let this issue die, this first part of the series has to do with what else but Lingerie Football.

Last week, you may have noticed that we had a special Q&A with Lingerie Football League Chairman Mitchell Mortaza. In it, he gave us this spicy chicken nugget about who would have owned the franchise:

Q: If the LFL does expand here, is there an ownership group in place, or would it be owned by the league?

A: We have a prominent commercial real estate developer that is based out of OKC that would have assumed ownership of the franchise.

Since News9, the Oklahoman and other news organizations like to take information they find on The Lost Ogle and “confirm” it on their own site (without giving us any credit), I figured they may look into which local prominent commercial real estate developer wanted a LFL team? But”¦they didn’t.

Anyway, I guess that means we have to figure out who is this mysterious person? Since I don’t know too much about commercial real estate development, I figured these are the requirements the potential owner must have:

- Be involved in some sort of real estate or something

- Be rich, and preferably, old rich

- Be easily intimidated by the mayor

- Be prominent

- Like sports

- Kind of be a Douche Bag

Following that logic “” and with the help of Ogle Moles “” we have compiled a short list of local developers who may be the person mentioned by Chairman Mortaza. Check it out after the jump:

Brent and Brett Brewer:

These guys (Brent is pictured above) are the sons of the late Jim Brewer. For those who don’t know about the rich and powerful in Oklahoma City history, Jim Brewer was the shrewd businessman who basically built and owned most of Bricktown.  I’m not sure if Brent is rich and powerful, but he does kind of look like a hit man in that picture.

Since his passing a year or two ago, his two sons Brent and Brett now own and operate the family business. Their first big move was to shut down the Bricktown Haunted Warehouse after 26 years of being in business, which if you ask me, was about 15 years too late.

Anyway, through the Ogle Mole Network, we’ve heard that these dudes are the type of guys you may see fist pumping at Rock Bar on a Friday night. I imagine rich young commercial developers who fist pump may want to own a Lingerie Football team.

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Yes, Bob Howard owns about 30 different car dealerships in the Oklahoma City metro, but he’s also a real estate developer and owns a share of the Thunder. On Sunday, it was announced that he’s closing his downtown Ford dealership because “Ford desires one less dealership in the Oklahoma City area.”

Possible Translation: American cars suck, I’ll get even richer by developing the area, and I want to own a Lingerie Football League Franchise but the mayor won’t let me.

p.s. ““ Here are Mayor Cornett’s totally real thoughts on the possibility of the Bob Howard Ford location being a location for the controversial MAPS III Convention Center: “It doesn’t seem like a good site to me,” Cornett said. “I don’t pretend to be an expert on convention center sites. It seems to be too much in the center of things.”

I would debate that point with the Mayor Cornett, but there are just too many reasons to list why he’s wrong. Some are obvious, some are not so obvious, and I don’t want people to gravitate towards one.

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Grant Humphreys:

This dude is:

A) Rich (his grandpa made a lot of money)

B) Weird (he bought a Ferris Wheel on ebay)

C) Connected (his dad is former mayor Kirk Humphreys)

D) He’s also a real estate developer.

All that being said, I doubt he’s the one who wanted to buy a Lingerie Football League Franchise. He probably got all weirded out by local sports when his Dad nearly got tarred and feathered by South Oklahoma City for wanting to get rid of the Blazers and bring in the AHL in the early 2000s.

On that note, one of the alleged “too many reasons to list” reasons city leaders had for not wanting a LFL franchise was the lack of the league’s stability. However, city leaders gave a nice lease to a AAA hockey team from a league with a history of producing failed franchises. They also wanted the city to subsidize a Grand Prix race knowing the troubled history of grand prix races. No hypocrisy there. None at all.

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Chris Salyer

Chris Salyer is the guy who developed Automobile Alley in Oklahoma City. Based off the picture above, he not only looks like the type of guy who would buy a Lingerie Football League, but the type of guy who would buy your girlfriend a pink flirtini and ask her to look at his fancy car while you stepped away to the bathroom.

Also, it should be noted that Chris Salyer’s now ex-wife is Ward 6 Councilwomen Meg Salyer. Call me crazy, but if you wanted to get all passive-aggressive and piss-off your ex-wife, I bet buying a Lingerie Football League franchise would do the trick. That would definitely top dating a girl 25 years younger than her, and if anything, get back at her for getting drunk and messing with your Facebook status.

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Avis Scaramucci

I’m not sure how involved she is in commercial development, but she’s owns Nonna’s in Bricktown. Nonna’s is the chick-flick of Oklahoma City restaurants. Going there with your friends before a Thunder game would be like getting the guys together to watch Love Actually before a Grey’s Anatomy marathon on Lifetime. However, if you take a girl there, you definitely get laid.

Anyway, I’m totally sure what that has to do with Avis wanting to own a Lingerie Football League franchise, but it’s worth noting.

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Steve Trumbly

Steve Trumbly is a home-builder, and based off the video below, he definitely meets the douche bag requirement:

Seriously, what’s up with that guy? He’s kind of cross behind “Ultimate NBA Fan” James Goldstein and Rick Mitchell. He makes Brent Skarky look cool.

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Anyway, that’s our list of people who we think MAY have POSSIBLY been the prominent local commercial developer who MAY have wanted to buy a Lingerie Football League franchise. Before any of them sue us, remember the key word is MAY. We have no clue if these people did or didn’t, it’s all speculation, kind of like the rumor that the guy inside Rumble wears lingerie. But if you have other possible names ““ or actually know who the developer was ““ send us an email or leave a comment.

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