I *heart* dumming down TLO. Nothing beats following well-researched, hard-hitting politico commentary with some elementary take on local sports radio or the Sooners. As a registered member of the GOP, I ponder offering my own political opinions, hoping to provide a different voice to this internet stronghold of progressive thought. Perhaps a topic about me hating poor people. And non-white folk. Those are really the only reasons I vote the way I do. This country would be better off if it was solely occupied by people like me. You know, the original inhabitants of this once great country – attractive rich white folk.

One can only dream, I suppose.

On an unrelated note, my wife makes me do the grocery shopping. I do it because if I want to buy six boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I don’t want to hear her complaining. “Get back in the kitchen and pour me another bowl of cereal, woman”, I say. In reality, I do the shopping because I am a big vag.

I try to get the shopping done before noon on Sunday. Mostly to avoid human interaction. Which means I will have to avoid Whole Foods for a good 2 years after construction is complete. The only other shoppers at Homeland on Britton and May at such an early hour are old people.

Such is not the case after 5 p.m. Do all hot little 20-somethings go to yoga class immediately preceding a trip to the grocery store? Or is the constant parade of tight behinds covered by painted-on black stretchy pants just a ruse to cause me certain embarrassment and a potential sexual harassment lawsuit? I guess those yoga pants are comfortable. Because you little tarts love to flaunt them around at the grocery store, reminding me to ensure the cucumber in my cart is firm.

In addition to mind-screwing half the females in northwest OKC, Sundays are also reserved for professional pigskin viewing. And while I lament the end of the college football season, I celebrate the beginning of the NFL playoffs. This year is no different. You have Team Invincible (Patriots), Team Underachiever (Jets), Team Turnaround (Chefs), and the NFC, which boasts the worst playoff team in the history of the NFL. Fitting. The aforementioned Worst Playoff Team Ever and the St. Louis Rams “competed” in a rousing game of God Who Sucks More last week. There can’t have been a worse “win or out” game in my lifetime. I challenge anyone to name three starters on offense for either the Rams or Seahawks. The two best teams in the NFC might not have made the playoffs in the AFC.

Normally, post-college football hangover can also be cured by college basketball. Yeah … not this year so much. Instead providing a cure to the nausea and headache the day following the end of college football like, say, a bloody mary does a real hangover, college basketball this season has been like shot of gin and Miracle Whip.

Forget the above average product put forth in Stillwater for the moment. Because the Pokes have actual talent. And a top 10 recruiting class next year. And a coach who teaches defense and offense. Rather than that abortion in Norman known as the Oklahoma Men’s Basketball Team. Time to let the former Dukie hit the road. This team has no talent. They have no offensive identity. They don’t play defense.

The excuse that somehow Capel should get a reprieve after last year is comical. He recruited those idiots who did nothing but commit turnovers, NCAA violations, and crimes against the English language. Capel has run off two teams worth of players during his tenure. It took the best college basketball player in this state in 30 years to get OU to the NCAA tournament.

“Let’s see what happens when he Capel gets all his players in his system”

13-18 in 2009-2010 (including 9 in a row to end the season). 9-6 this year with losses against everyone worth a shit, and Division II “power” Chaminade. It will take a minor miracle to get to 13 wins this season.

That’s what you get.

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