Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Vote for your Oklahoman Of The Month (April 2011)

Some say that Oklahoma is OK.  I say Oklahoma is fantastic.  This fantasticalness is surely reflected by the citizens of this great state.  However, once in a while there’s that golden nugget.  One that just sticks out like the brilliant person that they are.  Those are the people I believe we should look at every month.

So, with your help we will come up with the Oklahoman of the month. After the jump, you will have four newsworthy Oklahomans to vote for.  Whoever gets the most votes is the Oklahoman for the Month of April 2011.

Before we get to the voting, let me say that April was a huge month for Oklahoma.  We went from drought to sopping ass wet overnight, watched tornadoes on the news that cheated on us with Alabama (weird), a kick-ass basketball team rockin the play-offs, Sarah Palin shared her infinite wisdom and philosophy with Oklahoma women on finding your joy in life which is by finding your interest (I never thought of that), and our lovely Governor Fallin signed a bill making sure we protect those awesome insurance companies from having to pay after women make that evil decision to have abortions.

But what about those nuggets?

And the nominees are:

1. Jon Eric Mueller

Ever want to get S-faced and kick some mail box ass?  I dream about it all the time.  Well, this guy is one guy who can say he at least tried.

A man arrested in an Oklahoma City traffic stop had a blood alcohol concentration of only 0.05 percentage points below a level that can lead to death, officials said.

Jon Eric Mueller, 33, was arrested about 6:10 p.m. Friday on a residential street near NW 122 and Council Road, according to a police report released Tuesday. He was booked into the Oklahoma County jail on complaints of DUI, transporting an open container and failure to keep right of center and later was released. He has not been charged.

A man was driving a car in the area when another motorist saw the car swerve into traffic, hit a residential mailbox and run into curbs, an officer wrote in the report. The other driver followed the car, called police and tried to get the driver to pull over.

With a blood alcohol level of 0.35 percent he proved that 0.08 percent was for pussies.  The only problem is that a pedestrian started feeling sorry for those mail boxes and curbs so he got him to pull over.  What a bummer.

Read The Full Story

I couldn’t find a photo of our lovely nominee, but this is what meth does to you ladies. Think about it…

2. Ella Hyslo

Taking extreme drug games to the next level, Ella lives and almost dies in the fast lane, literally. 

Ella was attempting to inject herself with meth when she lost control of her vehicle causing it to go off the highway and roll numerous times.  Not only that, she almost killed her  anxiously waiting in line for the needle 29-year-old daughter sitting in the passenger seat.

Bravo Ella, bravo…

Read The Full Story

3. State Representative Sally Kern

Well, look who’s made it into the spotlight again.  Kern somehow keeps going no matter how nasty or low she may be.  Kind of like a cockroach. But somehow she does get voted back in so someone must really like her.

This time, (if you read The Lost Ogle you should already know), she has made the headlines again with her awesome racism and bigotry.  To quote:

“I taught school for 20 years, and I saw a lot of people of color who didn’t want to work as hard,” she said, reading from notes. “They wanted it given to them.”

“Women usually don’t want to work as hard as a man,” Kern said. “Women tend to think a little bit more about their family, wanting to be at home more time, wanting to have a little more leisure time.

Now that’s just a little tidbit of greatness.  You can Read The Full Story Here.

4. Mike Koehler

This guy wanted to build an AT-AT for America until he learned it was going to get him sued.  There is still no word on his Kelly LeBrock experiment.  What a Nerfherder.

So who is your Oklahoman of the month, Oklahoma. Vote and tell us.

Who is the Oklahoman of the Month for April 2011

  • 3. State Representative Sally Kern (52%, 159 Votes)
  • 4. Mike Koehler (26%, 78 Votes)
  • 2. Ella Hyslo (14%, 41 Votes)
  • 1. Jon Eric Mueller (10%, 31 Votes)

Total Voters: 303

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  1. Of all the contests you’ve had in the past, this is by far the easiest to handicap. But, I wouldn’t limit her award to just 1 month; how about person of the century–the 19th.

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