Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Spence Sez: The Maiden Voyage

Hey friends! So you may remember me as the guest contributor of such columns you didn’t read as, Ogle Madness Recaps and Ogle Q&A with Comedian Rob Delaney! Well, buckle up; I’m about to embark on a weekly column you won’t read!

Here’s how it works, you send me a question and I answer it — here on the Lost Ogle, in front of God and everyone. You can send your questions to me on Twitter: @SpencerLenox. Or in an email: Spencer.Hicks@gmail.com.

So, what makes me so damned qualified to answer your questions? I’m glad you asked. The long and short of it is, I’m the nicest pile of douche you’ll ever meet. I’m not going to tip-toe around your feelings. You want an answer, I’ll give it to you. Bite your pillow Suzie, this answer is coming in dry!

Here is my online resume, to shut up the nay-sayers:

Education: 1999-2003 Oklahoma Baptist University, B.A. in Public Relations; 2006-2009 Oklahoma City University, MLA in Writing;  2010 -2011 Argus Hamilton School of Joke Writing, mastery in observational humor and rape jokes.

Work Experience: 2003-2004 ExxonMobil; 2003-2006 Shawnee News-Star (part-time); 2005-2010 Office of Governor Brad Henry.

Awards: Winner of the Oklahoma City Comedy Contest at the Loony Bin Comedy Club; Runner-up in 2010 Gazette “Best of OKC” for Best Comedian/Comedy Troupe. Bronze Medal in Triple Jump, 2001 Special Olympics.

Other: I’ve opened for Paul F. Tompkins, Rob Delaney and Kyle Kinane. Shared the stage with Brian Regan. Emceed the Speaker’s Ball for Speaker of the House Kris Steele. I’m a volunteer for MDA. And I have a cousin with Down Syndrome. I’ve been to Uganda with Mark Clayton, Adrian Peterson, Roy Williams and Tommie Harris.

I even co-host trivia each Thursday at 51st St. Speakeasy.

See, I told you I was a bag of douche (but still less douchey than anything that’s ever been in So6ix magazine). But here is my solemn promise to you: I will NEVER use the phrase, “gentle readers.”  Instead, I’ll use the phrases “Jesus Freaks” and “Hey, You Guys.”

So start sending me your questions!

email

Comments

  1. How does an OBU educated writer use phrases like “Bite your pillow Suzie, this answer is coming in dry!”? Wouldn’t such imagery be grounds for revocation of your hard-earned college degree?

    Why don’t Baptists have sex standing up? Because they don’t want people to think they are dancing.

    • Ha! And yes, OBU did revoke my undergraduate degree. You don’t wanna know what I had to do President Brister to get it back.

  2. How did somebody from OBU get a job with the governor? Oh wait, he’s a baptist from Shawnee too. That’s how.

    • Little known fact: When Governor Henry was sworn in, every state employee was fired and replaced by a Baptist from Shawnee.

  3. So you were not able to move to Tecumseh quick enough to keep your position in State government? Or you don’t look good enough in a pant suit or law enforcement uniform?

Previous Post Introducing the World’s Meanest Grandma…
Next Post Mary Fallin’s daughter takes interesting engagement pictures…