Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Gentle Travels: The Center of the Universe

Well, readers, today I’m coming to you from downtown Tulsa and I thought I would bring you some worthy travel writing before I headed on over to the Soundpony to get wasted with all the Tulsa cool kids.  Like so many other Oklahoma attractions, the Center of the Universe is a little quirky, and definitely requires that you get in the right state of mind.  So let’s do a little exercise to make sure your brain waves are jiving with the travel destination at hand.

First, I want you to close your eyes.  I want you to take a few deep breaths and ignore all the sounds around you.  I want you to be in your own special place, unburdened by external stimuli.  Now, you must think back.  Think back to the time you tried hallucinogens at the field party after graduation.  You must take your mind back to that time, the time you ran through the field chasing shiny objects and drinking beer.  But I don’t want you to go too far back to the time just after you came down from that high and puked on your crush due to the alcohol and allergic reaction to the mushrooms.  That’s a dark place.  Don’t go there.  Come back to the high of running through the woods in the dark.  Are you there?  Good.

I need you to take this state of mind to the top of a pedestrian bridge where echoes just don’t make any kind of sense.  This bridge crosses the train tracks and goes from Archer St. to First St.  Now, here’s why you need this state of mind:

(1.)  If you and your stoner friend stand on opposite sides of the brick circle in the middle of the bridge, you’ll hear their echo but not your own.
(2.)  If you stand at the middle of the circle of bricks and speak, you will hear your echo, but no one else will hear your echo.

So what does all this mean, readers?  If you ask me, not a lot.  Clearly there is some sort of supernatural power that is stealing echoes in some pattern.  Why?  Well, as we all know, echoes act as currency in the afterlife, and some are worth more than others, hence why it depends on where you stand whether or not your echo is stolen.  There are, however, some less logical theories.  For example, there are some mad scientists that believe that

THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE HOLDS THE SECRETS TO THE ALTERNATIVE ENERGY THAT WILL SAVE TULSA OKLAHOMA; THAT WILL SAVE AMERICA; AND THAT WILL SAVE THE ENTIRE WORLD, FROM THE MASS DESTRUCTIVE PETROCHEMICAL ENERGY COMPLEX HELL THAT WE ARE ALL ENTRAPPED WITHIN.

So, yeah.  You can get more gems about the Center of the Universe here.  Basically the Center of the Universe is haven for crazy ideas and people that like to be weirded out by silly things.  I find that if you’re in downtown Tulsa, it’s best not to dwell on echoes and whether or not they are heard whilst standing on a pedestrian bridge.  Seriously, there are way too many bars around there for any of those thoughts to linger.  I mean, dude!  Go have chicken and waffles at Caz’s Chowhouse.

 

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Comments

  1. Marisa how about lunch at Gilcrease Museum? Then we can take shrooms and walk around the grounds and research your next article.

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