Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

We have found a new friend for Cardboard Jim Traber…

We recently got an email from an Ogle Mole about an interesting item for sell at a some internet auction. And when I say “interesting,” I really mean “best friend for Cardboard Jim Traber.”  Check it out:

Yes, someone was selling a Cardboard Cal Ripken. That sound you just heard was Regular Jim Traber getting an erection.

What sucks about this is that Cardboard Cal Ripken has already sold for $30 damn dollars. I would have at least paid $50 for it. I would have done this because Cardboard Jim Traber needs a friend who likes to kick it while drinking beer and wearing tighty-whities underwear.

Seriously, Cardboard Jim gets pretty hot and lonely in my garage. Cardboard Mayor lives there, too, but he doesn’t care for Cardboard Jim. We asked him why, but he said there were “more reasons than he can mention.” He added “some obvious, some not so obvious.”

Anyway, maybe another Cardboard Cal Ripken will surface on the internet. Or maybe there’s a Cardboard Bo Van Pelt or Tim Kurkjian out there. If you locate one, let us know.

Also, I guess I should use this as an opportunity to remind you that Cardboard Jim Traber is up for the Best Community Leader in the Gazette’s Best of OKC. We reeeeaallllllyyyyy need Cardboard Jim to win this thing. Not only would be it cool, but it would be the first time anything named Jim Traber won something memorable.


  1. There’s totally a cardboard Cal Ripken Jr. in my attic. I think he’s selling Frito’s. You can have him if you promise he will forever remain a part of TLO lore.

    Also, cardboard Cal comes with a restraining order against the likeness of Jim Traber. It stems from a traumatic incident with Real Jim Traber in a Buy For Less when Cal was a display fixture.

  2. I heard the Jim interview Bo Van Pelt the other day on the Sports Animal. I couldn’t help but smile and think of The Lost Ogle. You could tell Jim was all giddy and excited.

  3. Random observations/questions:

    Who is the chick grabbing cardboard Traber’s cardboard junk?
    Who is the dude humping cardboard Traber?
    Is that Mark Harmon with cardboard Cal?
    Is there a cardboard Japanese pitcher cardboard Jim could chase around?

  4. Wow, this would be quite the carboard couple! They could even come up with some cool nicknames. Not some sissified petname that Regular Jim Traber has for Regular Cal Ripken when they are drunk and in their tighty-whities. But something with some instant street cred. Carboard Jim Traber could be C-Trab, while Carboard Cal Ripken could be C-Cal or even CCR…

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