Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Gentle Travels: White Water Bay

Greetings, gentle travelers.  This weekend is Labor Day weekend, which as you know, means that our summer is at a close.  We had a good run, and it’s still going to be unbelievably hot until about the last week of October, when it will be fall for about two weeks and then proceed to get ridiculously cold.  But I’m still going to mourn the end of summer.  I will miss sweating between my boobs every time I walk out to my car and listening to everyone make the same dumb comment about the weather.

So, to celebrate the summer, I’m coming to you from the only place that screams summer—White Water Bay.  The majority of you probably haven’t been here since middle school, unless you were one of the poor, unfortunate souls who worked here as a lifeguard during your high school summers.  Nothing like yelling at kids all day to not run by the edge of the wave pool.  And, if I remember correctly, the last time I was here, the lifeguards were too busy flirting with each other to really look up and see if you needed assistance anyway.  So I’m not really sure why White Water has them on the payroll.

Another fun story about the last time I was here:  I vividly remember it being Katie T.’s fourteenth birthday and a large group of us hopped in her Mom’s Suburban and we went to White Water.  I remember wearing my awesome blue-flowered tankini from J.C. Penney that my mom got for me.  I also remember feeling incredibly self-conscious and fat because I was one of the few girls at that birthday party who didn’t have an eating disorder (yea, Edmond!).  I remember doing that stupid Alcapulco Cliff Dive slide thing and then spending the next 20 minutes trying to remove my swimsuit bottoms from my butt crack.  Looking back on it, I would like to know how many bare butt cheeks in the metro area have touched that slide due to the wedgie-inducing speed you reach on that thing.  It’s probably best not to think about it.  Interestingly enough though, there is now a slide called “The Mega-Wedgie.”  You have a strange fixation, White Water.

So, there you have it.  White Water Bay.  It’s still just as crowded as you remember.  There are still used band-aids floating in the lazy river.  They still wind up tangled in your ponytail while you float along.  And I’d bet even money that next summer when you go back there, those same band-aids will be there waiting for you.

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Comments

  1. I hate that place, it’s like swimming in human soup. Why the hell my kid likes it there, I’ll never know.
    And yeah, sweaty boobs was the highlight in this article.

  2. After growing up in Edmond, every time I read your articles I wonder if I knew you or not. I know it is highly doubtful but anyway White Water can still be fun you just need to go there on the days that it is hardly busy.

  3. I drive by that place every week day but haven’t been since 2001 where a bunch of friends and I decided to take the day off from high school in Pauls Valley and make the trek up…

    mmm boob sweat.

  4. What is it with guys and boob sweat? It’s a yucky feeling if you are a girl, for sure. It’s like girls saying, “oh, ball sweat!” (Not gonna happen)

    • Thanks for the “lovely” image, markpark. (NOT) Even though boob sweat sucks, I wouldn’t trade it for sweaty balls.

  5. Better here than waiting in line on the hot asphalt when it’s 104F for 0:45 minutes for a 0:45 second ride.
    .
    At least my B### sweet. can hitch a ride on a band-aid.
    .

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