Well, readers, it looks like the last episode of All My Children airs today. Do you feel, as I do, that the new day time TV lineup is a vast empty hole of sadness? Bob Barker isn’t on The Price is Right anymore, and somehow a skinny Drew Carry is supposed to suffice. The Jerry Springer Show has pretty much been replaced by The Steve Wilkos Show. What am I supposed to watch now when I have a sick day and want nothing more than to doze on the couch with the sounds of familiar trash playing in the background? These be some dark times, I’m telling you.
Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.
I have a confession for you, readers. Whenever Thomas the Train comes to town, I get really excited. It makes me wish I had a kid who I could take to go see the trains. Just imagining the look of excitement on their faces as they run around touching everything with their sticky jam hands warms my heart. Then I remember that I can barely remember to feed and clothe myself like a proper adult, so maybe kids aren’t the best plan. I have to say that I was a fan of Shining Time Station, back in the day. And I will defend to the death the statement that it is the greatest thing that George Carlin ever did.
So, if you have a kid under the age of 7, I imagine you’ll be here, chilling with Thomas. Would it be creepy if I showed up and played with the trains? Because I want to. And every once in a while, I’ll just pick up a random kid and give them a hug. But I won’t steal them, I promise. My boyfriend says you can’t do that, even if the kid is really cute. I haven’t looked it up yet, but I think he may be right on this once. I may have the “baby fever”, readers.
If you’re not a cougar over the age of 45 that still thinks it’s cool to shop at Forever 21 and Body Central, then you probably don’t frequent either of the Dan McGuinness Pubs in the metro. There’s just something about the desperation of a grown woman that still needs the affirmation that she is hot because that is all she has that is a complete buzz kill. And that sucks because Dan McGuinness has scotch eggs. If you’ve never had one, go get one. Now. Everything should be wrapped in sausage and deep-fried. For reals.
Anyway, when I saw this, I thought that maybe the Tulsa Shock were going to play an exhibition in the parking lot of the Dan McGuinness. But logic told me otherwise, as my cousin, brother, and I used to play tag in that parking lot when we’d go to eat at Perkin’s with our great grandma, and that parking lot simply isn’t big enough for a game of tag, much less basketball. So, I guess it’s a band. And if you’re one of those recently divorced Edmond women who think the Real Housewives of Over Privilegedville are an inspiration, then you can probably hit on an unsuspecting UCO student while you’re there. Or, if you’re like me, you can go to the Wolf Trap.
Typically when I go to an art show, it’s an exercise in awkwardness. I don’t know if you feel the same way, but being in a room full of wine-imbibing hipsters, some of whom I have had relations, while making small talk is hard for me. That’s why for many of you, I don’t exist outside the internet. I’m just weird and awkward, and if I’m not drunk, I don’t do well with strangers.
This is not to detract from this art show. In fact, this looks pretty awesome. It promises to be “a visual vacation” of painting, illustration, and photography—all the work of local artists. The Speakeasy, La Luna, and Mustang Brewing will be catering this event, so if you need to get un-awkward fast, there should at least be some booze available so you can schmooze with those cool artistic types.
That’s it for this weekend, readers. Party it up like it’s 1999. If you’re going to the They Might Be Giants show in Tulsa on Sunday, I’ll see you there. I’ll be the socially awkward girl that is making no effort to talk to strangers.
“Friday Night in the Big Town” is presented by Lucky Star Casino. Visit LuckyStarCasino.org to check out a full calendar of their events and concerts.
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