Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Lady Thoughts: The NBA Lockout

I’m not quite sure how the demographics of our readership break down, but I’m almost positive that it’s pretty dude-heavy.  I’m not saying it’s like a sausage fest gathered around the computer screen, but there’s a reason that there are generally more suggestive pictures of women posted on this little blog than my portfolio of Blake Griffin-inspired nude sketches.  Because of this, I thought it would be a good idea for me to give you a woman’s perspective on this NBA lockout business.

Generally speaking, I enjoy the sports balls as much as anyone.  College football games are fun and the marching band is generally a joy.  Basketball is fast-paced and Kendrick Perkins sweats a lot.  Baseball is the reason that a certain style of hats exist and the infield fly rule is confusing no matter who explains it.  These are all things I know about sports.  This is not to say that I understand other competitions marketed towards ladies.  I’ve been watching Project Runway since season 1 and I still can’t figure out how Heidi Klum judges those outfits.  American Idol seems to be a competition where you don’t want to win so you can sell the most records after the show, and cheerleading as a competitive sport still slightly boggles my mind considering the cheerleaders at my high school got suspended when they were caught with vodka and Valium in the bathroom during a basketball game.

But I’m not going to talk about the actual sports today.  If you want to read insightful things about basketball, may I suggest you read the previous post penned by Clark.  Instead of letting you guys get all bent out of shape, I think I have a solution or two to this lockout business.  No, I don’t know anything about negotiations or what they’re even negotiating about, but I’ve got alternatives to sports that are competitive just like the sports balls!  I’m here to ease the pain that a lack of sports might inflict on you.  So here is my list of competitions to get you by until the basketballs come back.  Plus, you can totally watch these with your lady friend and she probably won’t sigh every ten minutes or so and make a face at you that says she wants you to pay attention to her instead of grown men sweating on each other.

Project Runway All-Stars

You guys like all-star games!  And this is basically the same thing, only with grown-up art school kids who dress weird and talk way catty behind each other’s back.  Although, now that we know that Santino (the dude form a few seasons ago who looked like Rasputin) won’t be on there, I can see why you might not want to watch.

So You Think You Can Dance/Dancing with the Stars

I think this is a win/win for everyone.  With so many tight bodies in skimpy clothing, you can both objectify the consummate professionals that appear on the screen as well as make fun of pseudo-celebrities that show up as judges or contestants.

The Amazing Race

The best part of the Amazing Race is pretending that you and your significant other could go on that show without having a relationship-shattering fight.  While in the back of your head you know you’re relationship probably couldn’t handle the strain of buying a car together, it’s fun to pretend that you could go to China and complete challenges like the team you pretend to be when company comes over.

And that’s all the lady thoughts I have for this week.  If you have any topic that needs some lady thoughts, leave it in the comments!

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