Joe Pa died. And not just “his legend” or “metaphorically speaking”, both of which occurred last fall. The winningest coach in college football history passed away last weekend due to complications from
guilt cancer. For better or worse, he now has to answer to a higher power, leaving us mere earthlings left to wonder what that sad old man really knew about another sad old man ass raping boys in the Penn State showers.
Prized free agent Prince Fielder inked a 9 year, $214 million deal with the Detroit Tigers, proving that a least a few Motor City Barnes and Noble’s sell Jim Hendry’s instructional book: How to Torpedo a Franchise with Horrible Contracts – My Life with the Chicago Cubs. Most teams in the league could use a 40 home run, 120 RBI, .400 OBP defensive liability. Unless your team already has one of those (see Cabrera, Miguel). So either the Tigers are going to have the best DH in baseball for the next 9 years, or they are going to have the worst fielding third baseman in recent memory. Don’t get a catcher. Or another starter. Or an outfielder worth a shit. Go get a left-handed fatass to compliment your right-handed fatass. And pay him $200 million. Alfonso Soriano finds that obscene.
The Oklahoma City Thunder defeated a game NO
/OKC Hornets squad by double digits last night, running its Western Conference best record to 15-3. The future is so bright in downtown Oklahoma City, I need to wear my custom-made Ray Ban’s in my plush corner office. With the lights off.
In addition to an .840 winning percentage, the Thunder re-signed the sometimes frustrating, always exciting Russell Westbrook to a five-year deal. This time next year, I expect a similar announcement regarding emerging superstar James Harden and defensive wizard Serge Ibaka. Daquan Cook and that Swiss back guy can shoot. Mr. October can play some solid back up point. This team is a title contender right now, and for many years to come.
Speaking of titles, who are contenders to take what’s rightfully ours?
Heat – the best team in the NBA even if the record doesn’t reflect that fact. They were gelling as a team before Wade’s ankle injury, which incidentally is the only reason the Heat won’t win the NBA title this year.
Bulls – very much like the Thunder. The only real question is are they, like OKC, ready to take two steps forward this year? They have the superstars (Rose and Boozer), they have the complimentary pieces (Noah, Deng, and Hamilton), and they have a bench (Korver, Gibson, et al).
Lakers – regardless of their record, they are still the Lakers, and they still have Kobe, Gasol, and Bynum. But they are getting no younger, no more athletic, and no contributions outside of the big 3. And their coach is Mike Brown.
Clippers – the prevailing thought is that an NBA championship is achieved in steps. Teams don’t go from missing the playoffs to winning the NBA championship in one year (those teams that acquire 2 HOFers to go with their current HOFer notwithstanding). The Clippers are the Lakers with youth and athleticism – a few great players, and several missing parts.
The Pretenders – the 76ers have 7 guys averaging 10 or more points. None averaging more than 15.4. No team without a star has won a championship since … ever. Dallas looks really old, and are preparing for life without Dirk, and with Dwight Howard/Deron Williams. The Hawks need to a win a playoff series or two before getting serious about a championship. Orlando threw up 56 points in a full 48 minutes last week. No, Kelvin Sampson is not their coach.
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