This Crossroads Mall security guard is a big dummy

Last night, an Ogle Mole sent us this picture that he discovered while surfing Reddit. It may explain once and for all why Crossroads Mall has become such a haven for crime and gang violence over the years:

Here's a little bit of advice for the Crossroads Mall management team. The next time you're looking for a security guard, don't go out and hire the relative of a 1980s crash test dummy. Sure, they never complain, work long hours and don't come with the added expense of having to lease a Segway, but as you can see, they're pretty worthless. At least make it carry a rifle or explode whenever it sees a rape or something.