Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Here’s what Thunder employees are telling us about Thunderstruck

A few weeks back, I wrote about the new Kevin Durant movie Thunderstruck. I mentioned how terrible of an idea it was, and how one of my friend’s in the Thunder organization said it was going to be a piece of shit. Here’s a clip of the move that Royce posted at DailyThunder.com:

Let me clarify my stance on this film. KD making a movie for kids isn’t a bad idea. Kids will watch anything, so it doesn’t matter if the movie is shitty or not. Plus, KD seems to be a cool, friendly guy and this movie will help perpetuate that image.

What irritates me a bit is how the Thunder organization is so vigilant about protecting their brand. According to Thunder employees, my last post about this movie apparently caused someone in the Thunder organization to send out an email about “being careful who you talk to.” That’s why I decided to get some quotes from the people who helped make this movie happen. Here they are:

Matt Vaughn, Thunder Floor Emcee: “This movie is going to be so awesome!  It will make me a movie star! I’ll be the most popular arena emcee on the planet. And if I appear in more than five minutes of footage, my friends at MidFirst Bank will give me $100.”

Gay Asian Stormchaser: “This movie is going to be so awesome!!! Rah Rah!!! Go Thunder!!! Hi Five!!! Go Thunder.”

Kelly Crull, Thunder TV Sideline Reporter: “They let me work as a make-up artist on the film!  Considering I literally apply tons of make-up to my own face, this was a natural fit. It was a lot of work bleaching everyone’s eyebrows before they were called to set, but I did it. The movie is really good though.”

Riane, Thunder Girl: “Since I have red hair, it was great being able to film indoors. If you put me in the sun for too long I wilt like Hugh Hefner’s junk. Also, Spencer Hicks is super sexy. Sexier than this movie even… but seriously, this movie is really good.”

Rumble: “Fucking A, bitches. I’m get to be a fucking magic buffalo in this movie. Top that, Sasquatch.

There you have it, totally fake quotes from the people involved. Maybe I was a little too critical of the movie in my original post about it, but it is what it is. You can’t be upset that KD wanted to try something new. It’s for the kids, right?

As for the Thunder organization, you guys need to calm down. Just because someone works for you doesn’t mean they no longer get to have an opinion. Perhaps you have some people on your staff that don’t like these kinds of movies. Perhaps they thought not making this movie was a way to “protect the brand.” Just because some might think this movie is stupid or unoriginal doesn’t mean they don’t love the Thunder. It just means they have an opinion.

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  1. Clay Bennett owns this team. Why would you expect them to act any differently? It’s just the Dark Tower brand under a different name

  2. When KD started talking to this kid did the kid really just ask if he was Kevin Durant? How does he not know that? he’s wearing a Durant jersey. Should we alert PETA that they used a stunt Bison in the filming of Thunderstruck and no bison was hurt? someone get the memo out.

  3. I got to audition for the part of that guy not letting KD onto the court. Right when my audition started they said, “You’ll be reading for the part of ‘Stadium Official’. I said, “Sorry, I understood I’d be reading for the part of ‘Kevin Doo-rant’.” The casting director said, “Uh, that part’s been filled.” I said, “That’s kind of racist.”

    All for you, TLO.

  4. This is the same organization that had the Blake Griffin dunk over Kendrick Perkins deleted from the team’s game archives so as to not reflect poorly on the franchise when visiting teams come in and request highlights from previous games. While the team is enjoyable to watch the personnel surrounding the club is down right gustapo. A petty bunch of mf’s not dissimilar to their counterparts in Norman.

    Kelly Crull is an embarassment to Mizzou with all the references to “we” when talking about the Thunder. She’s hair and nothing more.

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